A Journal

[GGG]

I want to keep this daily journal to help myself stay on track with my goals and habits. 

Edited May 21, 2019 by GGG
Correction

[GGG]

Well, I haven't posted on here since May.

Things are not going good right now. I need to get my sh*t together.

Edited October 18, 2019 by GGG

[GGG]

Okay,

What do I want to work on/get in order first?

I will have some time on Sunday to clean my place. Let's start slow. I will try to report back on Sunday hopefully after having completed this task.

I am trying to get out of a serious slump that seems to have been lasting for like half a year now. Man, time flies so fast...

[GGG]

Well, I did take out the trash and bought some cleaning supplies but not a full clean up. Taking out all the cluttered trash was a major move though. I am not sure if I will get a chance during the week. Most likely I will have to wait till next weekend to continue with clean up.

Tomorrow my plan is to work a full 8 hour day, as well as for the rest of the week. The problem is that I am on a messed up sleep schedule which might hinder my plan. I am wide awake right now and its almost 12 am...

I need to get a bit more resources so that I can hire a therapist to help me deal with my situation. I am making a decision to give it a try as I feel a bit stuck trying to resolve everything by myself.

[studentofthegame]

Good luck on your journey.

What are your goals? What are your demons?

[GGG]

On 10/21/2019 at 2:06 PM, studentofthegame said:

Good luck on your journey.

What are your goals? What are your demons?

Hi, Thanks.

Right now I am just trying to get the basics handled. I am struggling in most areas of my life at the moment. Recently, I had a bout with depression and I am just starting to get out of it. 

[GGG]

Poor sleeping habits is a problem. I plan to do some research in the next couple of days regarding this issue. I am suffering because of lack of structure right now. It is causing me financial strain as well.

Man, in the past several month I've slipped into a dark place. I know why, but it is something I need to get over and accept. Time is of the essence.

[studentofthegame]

I think getting the basics handled is the key area of work and you've nailed the first step which is identifying sleeping habits and protecting adequate sleep above all else.

For me, the next essential components of basic self-care are good nutrition and proper hydration, a good exercise regime, and some therapy (whether that's formal therapy or self-therapy such as reading books, journaling, meditation or whatever works for you). You mentioned structure / routine, and this is a big one for a lot of people, including me.

Sometimes you need a kickstart, something to get excited about and look forward to. Sometimes just beginning this work and seeing the first lot of progress gets you pumped. Good luck and get cracking.

[GGG]

On 10/23/2019 at 8:37 AM, studentofthegame said:

I think getting the basics handled is the key area of work and you've nailed the first step which is identifying sleeping habits and protecting adequate sleep above all else.

For me, the next essential components of basic self-care are good nutrition and proper hydration, a good exercise regime, and some therapy (whether that's formal therapy or self-therapy such as reading books, journaling, meditation or whatever works for you). You mentioned structure / routine, and this is a big one for a lot of people, including me.

Sometimes you need a kickstart, something to get excited about and look forward to. Sometimes just beginning this work and seeing the first lot of progress gets you pumped. Good luck and get cracking.

Thank you.

[GGG]

Went for a brief walk outside today and bought lunch - helped me get out of my head for a bit. Did some people watching, some of them were interesting. I walked by a homeless man -- he smelled really bad, I felt a mix of disgust and pity.

I need to move.

[Angelite]

Go deeper. Where do you live? Why is there a homeless man in your area? Is it a cultural thing? Just in your area, or the whole country? Which sector do you work in? What can you do to change this culture? Emirates has not a single homeless man on the street. What can you learn from them? Is it the zakat(alms) system? 

Zakat (re:poor-due & spending for others). It is one of the rules / Laws given by Allah that Muslims follows through. 

[Angelite]

1 hour ago, GGG said:

 I walked by a homeless man -- he smelled really bad, I felt a mix of disgust and pity.

I need to move.

Look, this is your karma. Having to get through a smelly homeless man daily. 

This is just one way of looking at it. Another person might not even notice if there is a homeless in their own country~ it's not within their radar. 

Edited October 26, 2019 by Angelite

[GGG]

@Angelite  I'm in US

[GGG]

Still struggling with developing a sleeping routine. I'm spending too much time worrying about life and not taking any action. I feel time slipping away day by day. I feel heartbroken because I feel like I can't catch up.

I need to focus on the things I need to do in order to progress.

There is something I am trying to get past, an emotional hump perhaps. The feeling of stagnation and acceptance of where I am in life scares me. I need to run while I am comfortable sitting and don't want to get up.

[GGG]

On 11/1/2019 at 6:47 PM, modmyth said:

Why do you think you struggle with structure though?

I think I am just lacking direction/motivation right now. What seemed to motivate me before doesn't as much anymore. I think I am struggling to find a reason to get my life in order right now. Basic things like house chores are a mountain climb atm.

[GGG]

I made a calendar for my self. It is a piece of paper. I want to keep it with me .

[GGG]

Cleaned the kitchen. Good. Now the real challenge is to keep it clean.

[GGG]

Still working on daily habits. They are hard to upkeep, especially sleeping. I need to make sacrifices in order to follow the same sleep schedule every day. I am hesitating to make this commitment, but I know that proper sleep is vital. Maybe I'll figure something out... 

[GGG]

I cleaned the bathroom a bit which was a serious feat for me. I am keeping the kitchen clean. Making sure that the dishes are always clean does the trick. I am trying to develop a cleanliness habit, having never had one. Sleeping routine is improving. I've been going to sleep around the same time every day this week and trying to wake up at the same time, but with less success. I am doing this on the weekend as well, but I am not sure if this will be sustainable. However, getting my life in order is a priority right now and I think that I will do this for the near future.

I need to continuously take action and complete the basic tasks required to get things in order. I am embarrassed about how far I've let my self go. 

 

[GGG]

Day off today and tomorrow. For some reason I feel unable to unwind right now, feeling like I need to do something. My mind is in a state of unrest. As I pay attention to this state, I realize that I am often in it. Having gotten a few things in order and now having some healthy free time is usually not a part of my itinerary.