Crazy Ego Defence - LSD Experience

[AudibleLocket]

Hello everyone, i have a history to share about a good friend of mine. I dont like to say about others life, but this is something interesting to a debate.

We're friends for 15 years, i was always the one feeding the relationship. The guy rarely invited me to his place. 

It's like he cannot be 100% open with someone, all others friend of ours have the same opinion about him. He is very very selfish. If needed he would kill the entire planet to his survival, that level of egoistic. I personally think this is one of the strongest Ego i know.

 

This history takes place at the south of Brazil by the way.

One other friend of ours has invited us to go to his farm, we went there with a group of 7 friends.  The idea was to choose the perfect setting for a LSD trip, a safe place in the forest, some good music and a fire. We were all real good friends at the scene.

The LSD was the strongest i've ever taken, JESUS was the name of the drug. (Very comon in Brazil this LSD Paper, it is a mix of LSD and Tryptamine, not the purest thing, but was the best we could find). It is dificult to say what the dosage was, something about 200-300UG. It was enough to a break-Through expericence. 

 

We had all taken the dose, was a real bliss at the time, just the nature around us, good friends chatting and waiting for something to happen. 

The first effects were the basic Lsd feel; light body, laugh, different connection with the body. But it was climbing very fast to more intense experiences. 

About 1,5 Hours after we've taken it, we all decided to go for a walk in the woods. The forest was reforested, had a very interesting mathematical pattern. During the walk,  Strong visuals starting taken over, very beautiful perceptions of nature. It was like I was jumping on clouds, the elasticity of the grass could push me forward. The bark of the trees begin to change color, it was impossible to see the end of the forest, only tree runners to infinity. That moment with my homies was the best feeling I had with drugs in my entire life.

 

  This was the first time that this guy had taken LSD. We could see in his eyes the fear and anxiety transforming into panic and resistance. 

In the middle of the walk he started to panic, the guy was pale. Suddenly he buckled his shirt, threw himself on the floor and said he was having a heart attack. Everybody kind of knew this was just scene, no one had taken it seriously, he was claiming for attention. 

I could see his resistance to the experience. Out of nowhere he got up and ran back to where our base was. 

 

when we got there he was totally lost in his thoughts, when he saw me coming it was like seeing a ghost. he caught me and started screaming my name. It looked like his brain was having a bug. he stopped talking normally and went on to speak colors "Yellow" and meaningless things "you betrayed my heart" "I'm a shame for the family".

 After this show, we decided to go back to the farmhouse, drink some water and prepare for the night. It had already been 4/5 hours that we had taken the lsd.

In the car, the guy looked like a gorilla, went head down with his feet on the glass talking nonsense things. I was afraid of him. 

 

Long history short , the group made a campfire to talk and eat and he isolated himself in the house. He was aggressive and we decided to leave him alone. I've already taken part in several trips of lsd and mushrooms, and I've never seen a resistance experience like this guy has. He ate grass, broke his goggles, and smashed plants vazes that where in the house. And out of fright he ended up slapping me in the face as I was coming out of the bathroom and he wandered down the hall like a zombie.

 

 

 

1 year after this, we decided to take other LSD on a rock show. Roger Waters to be more specific . He completely panic even with a tiny dosage (Around 50Ug). He lost control of the situation and ran out of the show.

 

 

I am sharing this story so that we can debate about the ego and its defense mechanisms. Anything that takes control of the situation generates resistance. Imagine how much suffering he must have every day with all this self survival and egoistic behaviours.

He eventually drifted away from our group of friends and his friendships today are merely for social status and ballad partners. The ego does not allow it to show its real personality to others. Every time I see him nowadays, I realize how much he judges me in every speech of mine, and how much he tries to show the group his superiority.

 

 

Meditation should be more publicized so that people can grow spiritually. 

I am very grateful to Leo Gura for having totally changed my life and that of many others. Each day I try to be more mindfull of the pitfalls that the ego produces.