Sell me a long term relationship

[Psychonaut]

From my observation of LTRs in my family, friends and acquaintances LTRs don't seem to further the betterment of both individuals.

Here are my main sticking points:

These are things I have observed, not all occur at once. But with all points I have a major problem. It rubs me the wrong way to the extend of angering me and I am a calm person. Very calm. So calm.

1. People stop working out, become complacent
   • I only want to be in an LTR with someone that works out for the sake of working out. The motivation should not be based on attracting someone else or some narcissistic motivation of gathering attention. 
2. Female arousal tanks, the man gets frustrated. If he watches porn and masturbates its a complete waste of time. If no masturbation occurs he will at least be so horny that he can ravish her unconstrained once in a while
3. The man cares about what the woman thinks of him, constraining him during sex. From my understanding and experience of sex the sexual beast that is male desire has to be let go of for the woman. There might be bite marks, there might be a too rough spank, she might be crying on orgasm. But it is all part of it and she wants it this way.
4. Couples in LTRs have no clue about how attraction/desire and female arousal even works. Their understanding and awareness goes merely skin deep. There is a huge difference between rubbing genitalia in bed and having your woman dissolve in your arms while you are fully present and fully feeling through her. Noone would buy a used car without knowing anything about cars, so why enter into an LTR if you are clueless? 
5. The man gets walked over and the female takes over control because the man has no spine. Their are certain phrases that some men say that just make me want to pummel them into the ground until they get up and stop that whiny shit

It's not really a big deal. Hope someone can relate to me.

[Aeris]

why womans always need to put fancy words for fuck me hard.

I have been corrupted by people sayin, "sex is not like porn".

what girls really want is almost too much for me.

I was more for a relax side of things, like slow, and nice with so call'd "making love".

That's not what she wants tho.

by arousal, do you mean, being possesed by the male "need" ?

the more crazy and beast I m, the more she likes me.

 

Edited May 18, 2019 by Aeris

[Moreira]

What kept LTR working in the past was the fact that when attraction and the "in love" process and hormonal high ended the conveniency between the two made the relationship work. For example in the past in wild and dangerous places the woman need the protection and hunting habilities from men, and men needed the nurturing, loving habilities from women, conveniency.

But actually we live in a fake world where a woman can get protection from the police, food from her salary, and love from multiple men in a nightclub. men in the other hand can have massages from a therapist, sex from a prostitute but not love.

So now relationships only last what the dopamine of knowing someone new and making his own mental masturbations.

Also living in a big city is bad for LTR because we are exposed to new potential partners while in low populated areas we arent tempted to change our partner for a new one.

[Emerald]

It depends on what you want and what you're capable of in terms of connection and receptivity.

I would say that if you're in a position where you're not ready to make a soul-deep connection with someone, a LTR will probably be more work than what it's worth.

But if you and a partner are both attuned to one-another and are on the same page and trying to grow consciously together, then a LTR is really excellent for that.

You can't get that depth of connection over the short term.

But the problem is that people don't see that they're just trying to get their partner to behave in a certain way they project them to or think they should. So, they only ever interact with their projection onto that person. So, there is no connection to be had. And this gets felt more and more as the relationship matures. 

Also, women's libido dropping comes more from not knowing how to get a woman in the mood and there not being a very deep connection. So, basically a lack of communication, intimacy, and emotional variety in sex and the time leading up to sex. This integral after the first few months of a relationship... or the girl won't be aroused. The newness of the connection will be enough at first, but afterward the intimacy needs to push much deeper.

 

Edited May 18, 2019 by Emerald