Breatharianism Journal

[Anderz]

Sigh. Removing attachments to memories that's again like "no attachment", another negation. A better view is to think of our memories as having ice on them which needs to melt. Along with the physical tensions in the body.

[Anderz]

Then how to deal with personal relationships with both people we know and others when we are tense? Don't we need to lie and manipulate? Sometimes a huge lie; at other times small lies such as a phony smile. How can we protect ourselves if we drop all that tense ego defense?

The answer is: just use autopilot mode! Ego relationships are what we want to transcend, so let life as a whole take care of them. And the automatic responses and reactions may sometimes even include lying if necessary. Without the need for ego self defense.

Here is Vernon Howard describing ego relationships:

 

[Anderz]

If we are an adult man we might want to sound tough to avoid sounding like a little girl. And if we are an adult woman we might want to sound like a little girl to avoid sounding like a harsh man. It's of course a completely ridiculous charade but it's fine as long as we recognize that the vulnerable inner self we try to protect is not a dragon egg but a phoenix about to rise from the ashes of our ego.

[Anderz]

My lazy peace practice hasn't worked yet, but it has showed me more tensions such as in the guts. I will practice some more today of doing nothing and still expect to feel inner peace.

[Anderz]

One curious thing is that there are probably no truly liberated people on the internet. Because that's like an entirely new species! Sure, the liberated people will still look like humans, yet remarkably and noticeable different I think. And I mean fully liberated people, including their biology, and not just a mental liberation.

Chiefly, the social behavior is different among liberated people I think, because they are one Self, not separate egos. We are unable to interact on that level when we are still trapped in our egos.

Edited June 19, 2019 by Anderz

[Zigzag Idiot]

23 hours ago, Anderz said:

My lazy peace practice hasn't worked yet, but it has showed me more tensions such as in the guts. I will practice some more today of doing nothing and still expect to feel inner peace.

Do you think this practice would work if you left out the expectation?

[Anderz]

@Zigzag Idiot I have heard several teachers, including Alan Watts, describing the ego as tensions in the body. That seems correct to me. Leo talked about the need for relaxing tensions both in the body and in the mind. That's another important insight I think.

But I suspect that the tensions are deeper than one might first assume. They go back not only into one's personal past and into the development of the fetus, but also thousands of years of social conditioning of humanity and millions of years of biological evolution. Not only that, my guess is that the tensions even are scalar forces of vacuum energy. That's astronomical pressure.

I think one should have great expectations, larger than the usual expectations. Or else the beliefs will set limits and risk blocking the progress.

[Anderz]

Another thing with great expectations is that it's fine for the ego to have them, because with my hypothesis the future is determined and with accelerating evolution in the form of progress. So what the ego believes ultimately can't change the future, but theoretically having too limited expectations may cause limitations. And when having no expectations then the old subconscious expectations will kick in and they are very limiting.

[Anderz]

There are tensions in the body and tensions in the mind. Then what about emotional tensions? Are there any emotional tensions for the ego? Yes, very much so. For example anger is the agitation of emotional tension. And irritation, such as hearing a disturbing sound and very agitating emotions can be felt.

And even for the lazy peace practice, it can be challenging to to do it fully because of mental, physical and even emotional tensions. When there is agitation that's neither a lazy nor a peaceful state but an inner struggle.

Still, the mental intent to be lazy and the expectation of tensions to dissolve is useful for me. It gives my practice a direction and my hope is that it will produce actual and permanent results. I think that the practice has already produced some real results, but it's hard to tell yet since the mind can easily deceive itself.

Edited June 21, 2019 by Anderz

[Anderz]

I have started notice feelings from other people, but it's basically only hatred! That must be some hatred in me vibrating with other people. The pain body as Eckhart Tolle calls it. I will see if it can be transformed into pleasant feelings instead when I work on removing more tensions in me. The tensions are what the anger resonates with I assume.

[Anderz]

Hmm... As a speculation I came to think that when we become liberated then people who are still trapped in their ego will experience us as friendly because the liberated Self includes everybody, even people with separate egos. And then even the usually defensive and threatening people will change temporarily through resonance. Of course they will revert back to being nasty and fearful when the resonance disappears.

Edited June 22, 2019 by Anderz

[Anderz]

Tension might be a secondary effect and not a cause of the ego. For example if the ego seeks to protect itself all the time, then that likely causes a numbing out of the body, and not tensions, because Bruce Lipton said that cells wall themselves off, and that's a disconnect, more close to numbness than a tension.

So a new practice I came to think of is to feel everything as a wholeness, including emotions, sense perceptions, feelings in the body and thoughts. The ego results in, and is, a fragmentation, so a wholeness sensing practice should lead to a liberated Self.

[Anderz]

New Age believers often talk about the need for "opening our heart". That's probably true! BUT, the ego is a fragmented state so I suspect that if the heart would open in our separate ego state it would cause horrible pain.

So then what is needed is to let one's heart open in a sensing of wholeness. I will experiment with this.

[Anderz]

It's easy for the ego to slip into the win-lose trap. Then an enemy or opponent is always needed, or the ego gets confused. Look at the news for example, haha. And the more the ego slips into that mindset, the more isolated it becomes, until the only social interaction the ego can have is a phony facade hiding an entity that is waiting for the other person to get hurt, which is the only enjoyment the deeply fallen ego understands. Talk about hideous monster interactions behind pretty and smiling faces. And the monsters come out during things like divorces with legal battles and all that mess.

My new practice is to reject all those kinds of relationships. Except for example the news can be taken as entertainment with all the conflicts. But I will reject all serious kinds of ego relationships.

[Zigzag Idiot]

The situation you give above describes well the phenomena of

scha·den·freu·de

/ˈSHädənˌfroidə/

noun

pleasure derived by someone from another person's misfortune.

 

Schadenfreude is a complex emotion, where rather than feeling sympathy towards someone's misfortune, schadenfreude evokes joyful feelings that take pleasure from watching someone fail. This emotion is displayed more in children than adults; however, adults also experience schadenfreude, but they are just better at concealing their expressions.[1]

from - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude

This psychological phenomenon which only has a German word as it's label, I have only been aware of for a year or two. Seems like it's turning up more and more though,,,

You probably have heard of it but others here may not have.  It's both interesting and disturbing in what it suggests,,,

[Anderz]

@Zigzag Idiot Yes, it's pretty scary! I heard Vernon Howard talking about how all of us who still are trapped in our egos are devils, evil, monsters, insane and probably even worse descriptions than that, haha. At first I didn't really understand what Vernon meant but I'm starting to see it now.

It seems to me that it's the ego's constant need for protection that causes the insane state and prevents real social interactions. And with false social relationships come manipulations, win-lose, lies and conflict, and a constant state of fear, frustration, uncertainty and anger. And so when other people are hurt, being diminished, humiliated and lose, the ego sees itself as winning (because the other is pushed down) and also elimination of threat (because to the ego everything is a threat). So it's easy to see how an instinctual emotion of pleasure has developed out of those situations.

[Anderz]

I think it's fine to feel glee at non-serious hurt and defeat. That's for me free from feeling of shame and guilt. However there could be deep subconscious sadism in all egos! That's a scary possibility, but instead of investigating that, it will automatically be removed along with the ego. So I'm not trying to dissect my own ego too much.

[Anderz]

The core of the ego is not the poised personal facade. Nor is the core of the ego the angry and hard protective wall. Nor is the core of the ego the vulnerable and fearful inner sense of self. The core of the ego is confusion!

And the confusion is a result of the ego being a false sense of separation. And the separation is a belief. So we can use traditional mindfulness and observe the confusion in us until it vanishes.

[Anderz]

My theory says that memories are indestructible. That's similar to what Nassim Haramein said, that all memories are stored in the vacuum structure, something like that. And even Leonard Susskind, one of the top mainstream physicists said that the deepest physical law he knows of is that information is indestructible.

What makes memories come and go then depends on what consciousness is focusing on. That can be a great relief where the mind relaxes in relation to personal memories. And the future can be seen as memories not yet experienced. The future too is indestructible! All of reality is indestructible information being observed by consciousness.

The mistake the ego makes is to believe that it is separate from the indestructible information, when in reality the ego is a part of the same one reality. I will experiment with shifting my attention to experience reality as one unit. If the theory is correct then the ego perspective can be recognized as being false.

[Anderz]

I mentioned that Sadhguru said that he can use his mind as a hand and often isn't thinking at all! Eckhart Tolle has said the same thing, such as in the beginning of this video:

And it fits my idea that in theory we should be able to live without having to think at all. I even have the idea that thinking isn't even necessary for practical purposes, and that a higher intelligence can deal with things like planning and managing life automatically.