Holy Shit! Hologram revealed! Time frozen! Crystallization! And more.

[ivankiss]

@Soul-lover 2020 I can joke and still love you 

Nothing against your beliefs, judgments or assumptions. They are your birthright.

Just don't forget that God loves all.

God is all. 

Including you and me.

What he is not; is a bearded man up in the sky. Christ is in all of us.

[seeking_brilliance]

@ivankiss

Cool take your time. 

I think LD would be in your best interest for now, as you can continue to explore consciousness but take a break from conceptualizing and overthinking about what happened the other night, and prevent your trying to reach it again.  Besides, the dreams could help you process and integrate this non - experience in ways that wouldn't be possible in waking life.  

Edited May 20, 2019 by seeking_brilliance

[zeroISinfinity]

7 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

@Soul-lover 2020 

What he is not; is a bearded man up in the sky. Christ is in all of us.

Well infinity does include God as bearded guy up in the sky. ?

[Preetom]

On 5/18/2019 at 5:22 AM, Mikael89 said:

It's not reality which gets distorted. Your seeing of reality gets distorted. 

Probably same thing with psychedelics, enlightenment experiences, and all that stuff, they are all stuff which happens in the brain..

Does did ever occur to you that the very idea of a brain is happening in brain?

All hail the brain! The one true God!

Looking at a picture of brain with love is the highest form of God worshipping 

But alas, we cant usually see our own brain. No wonder we are depraved, deluded pigs totally alienated from one true god, the brain 

[ivankiss]

@zeroISinfinity Noticed that thought flying by as I was typing  

But that is direct experience of imagination. Not actuality.

Still infinity tho.

[ivankiss]

@seeking_brilliance Swiming in the ocean is usually my break. Love surrendering to the waves. 

LD would not exclude thinking. Thanks for the suggestion tho. I'm sure I'll reoriented when relevant.

Bless!

[seeking_brilliance]

1 minute ago, ivankiss said:

@seeking_brilliance Swiming in the ocean is usually my break. Love surrendering to the waves. 

LD would not exclude thinking. Thanks for the suggestion tho. I'm sure I'll reoriented when relevant.

Bless!

Ah OK I gotcha! 

[zeroISinfinity]

@Soul-lover 2020 Just drop that bullshit already only reason you cling to it is because it gives you false sense of security. Come naked already. Do practises become Formlesness, become your self in pure form and you Will realize with 100% conviction that You are biblical God. 

3 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

@zeroISinfinity Noticed that thought flying by as I was typing  

But that is direct experience of imagination. Not actuality.

Still infinity tho.

@ivankiss

Yeah imagination is cool have it's creative purpose problem is that most people abuse it, fuck they abuse anything God given. 

[ivankiss]

@zeroISinfinity God abuses himself.

Don't spit on yourself now 

[zeroISinfinity]

Just now, ivankiss said:

@zeroISinfinity God abuses himself.

Don't spit on yourself now 

It's not that simple Game is much more profound. After all it is created by God for God. 

Yup use that zen stick when you need to. ?

[Leo Gura]

@ivankiss Good! Sounds like you've firmly seized the Ox by the horns.

Namaste.

[ivankiss]

@Leo Gura Man...What the hell is happening here really? Last night it came on again. This time I smoked one joint. One tinty little joint is all it took. And I deliberately made it super mild; not to fuck with myself. I just wanted to chill and take a break. But it seems like I cannot avoid facing God, or you know, whatever it is.

I managed to dance with it last night. It was still horrifying though. I seriously don't know how to communicate this shit. Nor how to feel about it. It sucks the life out of me. No possible way to defend myself.

Started out with hyper-awareness, again. I became way too aware of myself and my surroundings. I couldn't help myself but be aware of each and every shift. Each move I made - the tiniest little change in reality, felt like it was taking place on a completely different planet lol.

Things stop flowing. Freezing, again. I can only describe it as stopping to spin around myself, after what seemed like an infinity. Jeez this really sounds stupid once I start explaining it. Please bare with me.

On a physical level; there is this strange, swirling, tingling sensation. Usually starts out in the gut/heart area. Then it starts intensifying and expanding throughout my whole body, until it bursts outwards. The more I become aware of it, the more mechanical and unnatural it feels. Everything vibrates like crazy. I start shaking like mad.

Everything turns to what I can only describe as white noise. Like grains of some sort. And it's super sterile. My body, the bed I'm lying on, the table, the chairs - the whole freaking room. And somehow, through this white noise, I am able to feel all objects - as if they were my body. Literally. It's just too much. Physically, mentally, emotionally. In all directions. Feels like my body is literally being torn apart, from the inside out. 

Thoughts stop flowing through, completely. As if they literally merge with the present moment. Each thought I have is the very next configuration of reality I experience. It's sooo freaking precise. It feels like every thought, which is instantly experiental at that point, is somehow stuck on repeat. Glitching. Until I become aware of it and live it out, so to speak. It's such a terrifying feeling of being trapped in the corner, all alone. And it feels so futuristic and artificial. Like I built this whole thing with some super advance alien technology. Sounds so stupid though.

Moving fast and spontaneously was the only way to escape that horrible... uhm... Place. Or whatever the heck it is. I nearly ended up crying out for help here on the forum. Felt completely groundless. Topless. Infinite, yet frozen in terror. It is just unspeakable. Embodying love or hilarity was not an option until I came down to some degree. Felt good when I was finally able to laugh.

Anything you can tell me to soothe me a bit? What the hell is this shit? Is it meant to be left as it is? Should I look forward, strictly? I sense there is great danger in trying to understand too much. Such a minfuck. And I haven't even bring back anything, in comparison to what actually went down. Freakin' crazy man.

 

@Nahm??? You got anything for me? Or anybody, really? Can anyone relate to this shit?

(excuse the frantic ego. cannot avoiding backlashing)

Edited May 21, 2019 by ivankiss

[Leo Gura]

@ivankiss That's outside of stuff I've experienced. My experiences of God/Absolute are not like that at all.

Maybe lay off the weed? It might be adding to your paranoia.

Sounds like you might be having a kundalini awakening/activation. That would explain the body shaking and so forth. It might help you do some kind of body work to ground yourself or shake out the energy. Maybe Osho's dynamic meditation or just shaking your whole body like a madman. Chanting can also be helpful. When overwhelming energy comes up for you, try chanting AUM very long and deep from your belly, over and over again while also pounding your chest like a drum. Get a nice rythym going.

I think you are doing okay. You just want to listen more to your body and let natural feelings show you the way. Trust your feelings. Let this process unfold and massage you. Sounds to me like God is taking over your mind and body. This is great. Let it take you over and rewire you. Surrender to it in high faith. Surrender to the highest love and truth. Set that intention every day. The ultimate goal is to let God take over your body. This requires a collapse of the old ego-mind. So that you become like a superconductor for God.

This is exciting stuff! You've broken through to some deep awakening. Looks like you hooked a whale. Now slowly reel it in. Be patient with it. Really listen to your intution and highest feelings, not your rational mind. Allow your body to do whatever it wants to do (without hurting yourself).

Prayer can be very helpful here. Prayer here would be you setting your intention to let God take over you for the highest good. Visualize what you want! This should help you cut through negative thinking and fear. Use your heart too! It's a powerful tool you can activate at any moment with feelings of love. Use that to cut through fear and doubt.

Get clear about what you want in all of this. What is your intention? Do you want to be God? Do you want to surrender? Do you want the highest awakening? Intention is paramount here. Otherwise you are like a leaf blowing in the wind. Take control of the process, not from your mind but from your heart and soul. What does your soul want here?

[zeroISinfinity]

@Leo Gura can you explain this. Yesterday at work. Everything that I needed was exactly how it should be for me to finish job easily. And everything I was looking for I could find without searching. Without really exhibiting any Will, lol.

Surrender Best thing ever. ?

[FredFred]

Abolutely incredible! Thank you for sharing this with us 

[seeking_brilliance]

@Leo Gura @ivankiss@ivankiss.

Oops sorry Leo, just taking to Ivan here... 

Chew a few peppercorns before pot use. There are chemicals in pepper that bind to your endocannaboids and somehow greatly lessen or prevent that paranoia and anxiety. You can even chew them after you are high and feeling the paranoia.  

https://www.leafly.com/news/cannabis-101/this-everyday-household-item-could-counteract-your-cannabis-induc

[ivankiss]

@Leo Gura Thank you. That helped.

I definitely feel like intuitive physical activity is what centers me. Puts me in the zone. Gets me flowing. Been doing all that. But I also feel like the more I flow, the bigger the mindfuck gets if I slip back into the pattern.

It is incredibly paradoxical, because radical surrender is what led me to these realizations and levels. And it's like now, every move or action requires resistance on my behalf. Resistance towards being one with nothingness. Static nonexistence. Eternal silence. Its like will is now the same as resistance. 

Keep in mind this is not really happening to me, even though I use the letter "I". It is beyond me as a mind/body complex. Senses dissolve, identity gets completely lost. It's happening to reality as a totality. It is literally like merging with nothingness, which is now obviously not nothing anymore. I cannot unsee what's behind the scenes. Or not be aware of it constantly, to be more exact. I literally see the formless behind everything. Moving all people, the cars, the trees, the waves, the clouds. And I also sense it moving me. It's like an invisible, super intelligent force that's curled around everything and also is everything. There is literally no difference between being touched by it or another human being or object. Even the wind blowing against the skin is it. And it is so undeniably obvious and fully experiential. On a level unlike ever before. Could not exaggerate, really. Has nothing to do with weed or paranoia. Smoked one tiny joint after a long time. In the past; used to smoke tons. And I never experienced anything like this while high. Not even nearly. Besides, it's happening also when sober. Could the deepened breath be the cause?

I knew most of this stuff for a while. But it was never nearly as experiential as it is now. Such a massive shift.

The more I synchronize with reality the more I become aware of the mechanics behind it, so to speak. Every tiny detail. I don't know about you, but to me it seems scary AF to be 100% aware of exactly how everything is, in real time, constantly. 

Why the hell would I want to be aware of how exactly I'm moving that tree? Or adjusting the brightness of the sun? The temperature? The wind? People? Designing it all in real time. It's just to much to be aware of. Leaves no space for anything at all, really. It is true, direct experience of singularity. Experienced by itself.

But I suppose I am doing fine, yeah. Just have to express, I guess. 

In the heart, only one thing burns; Music. All of this is happening for music. Has nothing to do with me, really. I just didn't know I'd need to sacrifice myself for it. Completely.

Creating music still seems far away though. It's like God is not done with me just yet. I let go of the wheel long ago. Have nothing. Live like a sage.

Music is all that both I and my soul truly desire. I guess that's why death is so terrifying. No music in silence.

Thanks again for the suggestions.

Much love and respect.

Edited May 21, 2019 by ivankiss

[Nahm]

@ivankiss That all sounds familiar. I described it like being at the pre photon level, prior to individuated light materialization which never crystallizes really, infinity / potentiality without manifestation, and it was flat out unbearable for a few hours. Like an infinite cliffhanger....similar to when you jump into cold water and lose your breath, but losing reality, and it feels ‘stuck’, like it’s never coming back / becoming again...?

But then, the good news is, you are the Peace. And you always will be, and you will always know that you are. I’m guessing you are experiencing that by now. 

It will subside by residing “into you”, as you,... Peace, and Siddhis will likely be the outcome. As well as awareness of True Effortlessness.  This is about as rough as it gets ime. The tongue can not taste itself, but it does seem there is this ultimate clearing / trans-reality purification. 

If possible, be around someone else like an experienced yoga guru or matured reiki master. It can completely change the flow, just the manifested presence of you and them, no information really needed, and sheds a different light on ego manifestation and pre-appearance-manifestation.  It’s as if you leave the apparent consistency, enter chaos, and eventually the chaos is gone and there is only you the story / all-aware-of, no you the character, so to speak. It is most delightful, and worthwhile. That chaos / crystalline stage/state/phase (it’s not really like those) does seem like it can’t stop, or as if it’s nature is to always be uncertain. As deeply convincing as it is, it does transcend. 

Going out on a limb with this but... check out crystals too. Atomic structure & crystal structure are uniquely different. Simply holding a good sized amethyst in your hand changes the energy and backdrop or the unseen atmosphere of experience. Words are pretty futile here, but what centered a person had to do with body, and what “centers” That has to do with the entire environment, in a proximity to the body manor. If you go to a crystal shop, and hold handfuls of different crystals, I believe you will directly experience what I’m trying to communicate. One of them will clearly be “your crystal”. 

 

[Leo Gura]

@ivankiss Sounds like you just need to be patient with it and let it play out. It should all stablize in some weeks or months.

Sounds very cool.

[DrewNows]

@Nahm fascinating