To All Struggling Males: Stop Playing Victim!

[SFRL]

That's all fine and dandy but anytime a guy gets on this forum looking to improve his sex/love life he gets shot down by half the forum shaming him for wanting what he wants. 

Then the guy is made out to be shallow, non-spiritual, inauthentic, etc. etc. 

And my favourite: " But Leo says..." 

And the other half of the forum is trying to point these guys to all sorts of material and give him all sorts of advice how to get laid. 

 

What is a guy to believe?

It's a shit storm of conflicting information. 

It's super confusing and conflicting for a guy seeking help. 

As a forum community we are not building these guys up.

 

[Psyche_92]

1 hour ago, Arnold666 said:

Leo #2 rule: Stop listening to Jordan cuz it's cancer to the mind.

Lolol true. Glad i'm not the only one that's confused here.

[SFRL]

The forum should get restructured. 

1. A video that clears up what the vision of Leo/Actualized.org is. 

2. Two moderators who moderate this section of the forum, who actually know what they are talking about. The rest should stay out. 

Half the mods on this forum ARE those nerdy awkward people who don't know how to get/maintain a relationship. It's the blind leading the blind.

We used to have a good one @aurumbut he left. Probably because he got tired of all the bullshit. 

3. Close down the NoFap thread. It promotes whining and complaining. 

 

It's a failure in leadership is what it really is. 

 

[Shin]

9 minutes ago, SFRL said:

The forum should get restructured. 

1. A video that clears up what the vision of Leo/Actualized.org is. 

2. Two moderators who moderate this section of the forum, who actually know what they are talking about. The rest should stay out. 

Half the mods on this forum ARE those nerdy awkward people who don't know how to get/maintain a relationship. It's the blind leading the blind.

We used to have a good one @aurumbut he left. Probably because he got tired of all the bullshit. 

3. Close down the NoFap thread. It promotes whining and complaining. 

 

It's a failure in leadership is what it really is. 

 

You know them personally ?

[RawJudah]

This is the mother of all posts. The post I have been wanting to read for so long to get me fired up and wanting to do more of this stuff.

I've put it off for years because my mind has been lying to me and I have gone knee deep into the MGTOW and red pill shite.

Enough of it! I am committing myself to becoming a better man. 

Thank you, Leo.

[SFRL]

14 minutes ago, Shin said:

You know them personally ?

Yeah you can play that game. But you know how it is. 

[bejapuskas]

@SFRL  Do you want to build a new dogma here? Actualized.org is growing and we are all at very different stages of development. Just because someone is intellectual and writes nuanced comments doesn't mean he is 40 yo virgin. (from that upcoming video )

[SFRL]

6 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

@SFRL  Do you want to build a new dogma here? Actualized.org is growing and we are all at very different stages of development. Just because someone is intellectual and writes nuanced comments doesn't mean he is 40 yo virgin. (from that upcoming video )

No that's exactly my point. Everyone is in a different stage. 

But the guys that 'cant get laid'. They are at the lowest stage of them all. 

Its counterproductive when a guy like that asks for advice and other forum members see that as the perfect opportunity to show off their spiritual far pissing skills. 

It's exactly those spiritual far pissers that try to build a dogma. 

Edited May 17, 2019 by SFRL

[NoSelfSelf]

@Leo Gura i really have problem with sustaining interesting conversations and would love to know where to learn it what principles to follow...

[ajasatya]

@NoSelfSelf not sure if this will help, but what can be more interesting in a conversation between 2 human beings than the human beings themselves?

develop true interest towards the other person. ask about what he/she thinks about his/her own life or about life in general. if you know how to listen properly, people will tell you the strangest things. the perspective of a person is an infinite rabbit hole.

[bejapuskas]

19 minutes ago, SFRL said:

No that's exactly my point. Everyone is in a different stage. 

But the guys guys that 'cant get laid'. They are at the lowest stage of them all. 

Its counterproductive when a guy like that asks for advice and orhe forum members see that as the perfect opportunity to show off their spiritual far pissing skills. 

It's exactly those spiritual far pissers that try to build a dogma. 

Yeh, that's right. People who are properly developed can usually get laid with the kind of women that they want. But thinking, that having sex will fulfill you is a limiting belief. That's my point.  Also you can easily become a victim of such thinking.

[Ferdi Le]

@Leo Gura

Has your attitude changed towards "Sperm Wars" and "The Red Queen"?

You gave both books 5 stars I think, but they seem to be quite contrary to what you wrote today

Edited May 17, 2019 by Ferdi Le

[Psychonaut]

@Leo Gura New videos on sexuality would be appreciated my man! Early on you had quite a few, but I wonder if we could lift the topic of sexuality up a bit from the sticky mud it has been vegetating in for quite some time now.

[Forestluv]

@SFRL There are different forms/areas of dating and relationships. One can have wisdom and expertise within certain forms/areas. For example, the alpha male strategies guy is highly knowledgeable and skilled in a particular form/area of dating/relationships. That is not my world - my area/form of relationship is very different than AMS. I have experience and wisdom in a different form. It doesn’t reduce his skills and expertise and it doesn’t make me an awkward nerd that can’t get/maintain a relationship. There are dating/relationship situations I can be helpful and situations in which others are more qualified to be helpful. There are dynamics in which I can see your experience and insights can be more helpful than my own. As well, dynamics in which I have a lot of experience and am on the same wavelength as the other person. . . And I agree arum had broad experience/wisdom in dating/relationships and made great contributions to this subforum. 

[Moreira]

We are born in a world where a system is set up, the modern slavery that started in Europe in the industrial revolution.

We arent asked if we want to participate in this system. We are forced to wage slave, to work 8 hours a day whenever if you are tired, not in the mood, depressed, sad or sleepy. Unless you are born in a wealthy family , or have a new epiphanic idea  and you invent something valuable, or have the divine inspiration to create a good business that hasnt been invented yet, if you arent in these cases you will have to slave most of your life to pay a mortgage.

We have no choice because we need to eat, to pay bills, in some countries insurances and healthcare.

Yes, we have no choice, well the choice is to dye. That why we are victims.

 

Edited May 17, 2019 by Moreira

[RawJudah]

@Moreira Does that have anything to do with getting laid?

 

[bejapuskas]

20 minutes ago, Moreira said:

We are born in a world where a system is set up, the modern slavery that started in Europe in the industrial revolution.

We arent asked if we want to participate in this system. We are forced to wage slave, to work 8 hours a day whenever if you are tired, not in the mood, depressed, sad or sleepy. Unless you are born in a wealthy family , or have a new epiphanic idea  and you invent something valuable, or have the divine inspiration to create a good business that hasnt been invented yet, if you arent in these cases you will have to slave most of your life to pay a mortgage.

We have no choice because we need to eat, to pay bills, in some countries insurances and healthcare.

Yes, we have no choice, well the choice is to dye. That why we are victims.

You are a slave of your mind already, being a slave of community is only a disguise.

[outlandish]

Thank you @Leo Gura this was sorely needed in this department. +1 for making it Pinned once it falls off the front page.

[Rilles]

26 minutes ago, Moreira said:

well the choice is to dye

so what color do want to choose?

[SFRL]

5 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

@SFRL There are different forms/areas of dating and relationships. One can have wisdom and expertise within certain forms/areas. For example, the alpha male strategies guy is highly knowledgeable and skilled in a particular form/area of dating/relationships. That is not my world - my area/form of relationship is very different than AMS. I have experience and wisdom in a different form. It doesn’t reduce his skills and expertise and it doesn’t make me an awkward nerd that can’t get/maintain a relationship. There are dating/relationship situations I can be helpful and situations in which others are more qualified to be helpful. There are dynamics in which I can see your experience and insights can be more helpful than my own. As well, dynamics in which I have a lot of experience and am on the same wavelength as the other person. . . And I agree arum had broad experience/wisdom in dating/relationships and made great contributions to this subforum. 

It sounds reasonable when you type it out like that.

But the way it goes on this forum is like this:

Nerd: "I am 25 and I have never even kissed a woman, they all hate me!!!, and I hate them too!!!"

Then a guy wearing his green cape comes and says something to the extend of: "Try watching deep in each others eyes, and really feel the deeper connection between the two of you and how you are her". 

No man. That shit is not going to work. The guy is not going to get laid like that.  He is going to creep the girl out. To even endorse such a statement being made is ridiculous. 

Edited May 17, 2019 by SFRL