How to GROUND oneself?

[Recursoinominado]

I have tried all the typical advice (barefoot, nature, physical exercise, eating heavy foods, even crystals etc) but nothing seems to work.

This has been a problem for me for far too long, it is a bottleneck in my personal development, if i meditate or contemplate or use psychedelics (for spiritual development), or even read, plan, use the computer/smartphone, clean up my diet (trying to be a fruitarian), i simply get TOO ungrounded, almost like losing touch with reality. The feeling is like seeing life by looking through binoculars, reality seems impersonal, detached, like it isn't even happening to me. At first it was super scary, i thought i was losing my mind (i have lots of mental disorders history in my family), now i got kind of used to it but i feel too disconnected with the world, it is hard to relate with anyone, it is hard to commit to anything, super hard to focus, be disciplined, decide what to do with my life, it feels extremely overwhelming. I live constantly spaced out, "airy", distracted.

I have to say that i have a comfortable life, live by myself, unemployed (my family pays for everything), no schedule or obligations, no challenges that i don't impose to myself. I feel that this aggravates the problem, i am in the Limbo phase, trying to develop a vision of my life purpose and follow it. This is my whole focus right now, following my life purpose and make a career out of it, super bold life changes, i am considering to sell everything and travel by my own, put myself in challenging situations in order to ground myself, force myself to keep engaged in life.

In the Life Purpose Course Leo talks about how a life purpose can ground oneself to reality and i believe him, i get the concepts but it is all too overwhelming, i am having lots of trouble in planning and being strategic with it, i am too in my head all the time. 

ps: I have noticed that some of my family members diagnosticated with mental disorders are, in fact, extremely ungrounded, too much in their heads, losing touch with "reality".

[Hellspeed]

Spleen is key for this. Focusing on the Spleen taking energy from the crown and channel that with breath into muladhara. Basically left side of the body.

[Robi Steel]

@Recursoinominado Well, there is no ultimate ground. The difficulty is to find ground in a 100% groundless universe. If you get solidly grounded in nothing, there is nothing that can unground you. Be totally grounded in the present moment and in whatever you are doing at the exact time of now

Edited May 16, 2019 by Robi Steel

[Truth Addict]

Ground yourself in surrendering.

Let life take control instead of trying to manipulate it. Just let go of the driving wheel. Everything is fine.

[Forestluv]

This is just my impression: to me, it sounds like direct experience of a detached observer combined with a lot of mental distractions. Plus, a lot of thought stories of who I am, what the problem is and uncertainty of what the solution is. There seems to be a back-and-forth between disidentification and identification.

What I’ve found is that when I I get immersed into an expanded timeline, the sense of groundlessness and discomfort can increase. I like the image of Now being a vertical line and the construct of time (past and present) being on a horizontal line. Much of the seeking energy and discomfort I experience Now is related to stories along the horizontal timeline. Often, the further I go out, the more discomfort arises. The horizontal timeline/storyline is groundless. The story is constantly changing. My preferences, my goals, my friends, beliefs, feelings - is fluid - it’s not a grounded within the timeline. The story is constantly getting updated and changing. Personally, I’ve found the further out I go in the timeline, the more groundless it gets. Being immersed in today feels more grounded than being immersed in a lifetime. For example, “My whole life, I’ve been disorganized and unproductive. I’ve also got ADHD and I’ll never be able to find a lifetime career and live a meaningful, successful life”. That is waaay far out in the timeline and would lead to a lot of distress in my mind and body. It would feel overwhelming.

There are times when I explore a lot in groundlessness and it becomes too much. My mind and body tell me to slow tf down, rest, integrate and stabilize. In regards to PD, sometimes my mind and body has a hundred different fragments of realizations and aspects of reality popping up all over the place. Rather than make it more complicated, sometimes it’s helpful to simplify and deconstruct. 

I would listen to what my mind and body is trying to communicate. If it is trying to communicate we are waaay off balance into groundlessness, I would get in touch with that. Rather than getting immersed in disorganized thought stories, I would try to listen to the wisdom of the mind and body. Perhaps the body wants a sense of routine and structure. Perhaps a daily schedule. Perhaps the mind and body wants to take a break from consuming nonduality ideas and spend a bit of integrating. Perhaps the mind and body wants a short term goal to work toward. This can give a sense stability. For example, training for a 10k race or starting a 30 day yoga series. This type of structure, routine and short term goals can help recondition the mind and body. I would also spend some time contemplating each day, without spiraling down into the rabbit hole. Perhaps spend some time developing awareness of patterns of thinking/feeling that arise in the mind and body. Observe the nature of these patterns and the desire to change - without going down a storytelling rabbit hole. Or perhaps consider building attention and focus skills.

Just some ideas arising in my mind. Perhaps some may be useful, perhaps not. ? 

[Commodent]

Consistent mindfulness practice with focus being on bodily sensations (and not necessarily eye perception and hearing). Also, keep doing what you're doing with barefoot walking etc. Maybe get a massage or something. Listen to your body's signals, eat when you're hungry, undress when warm etc. Attend to your body's needs. It has great value.

Using the chakra model, I can tell you that the problem you're describing is mostly associated to a deficient root chakra. When the root chakra is deficient, you don't really have any foundation to heal (or rather, activate) the chakras above it. For example, when you're ungrounded and disconnected from reality (deficient root chakra) you can't really be in touch with your feelings and relate well with other people (which is associated to 2nd chakra).

Deficient root chakra is usually caused by abuse/neglect in the very first months of your life. Most commonly from receiving too little physical contact and closeness from your parents.

Don't expect immediate results, as your root chakra has probably been more or less deficient your entire life. Just keep at it. With meditation and psychedelics you are really energizing your 6th and 7th chakra, but by doing so it's easy to lose touch of your ground. So you should probably ease on that for a while until you've gotten a strong sense grounding.

[Recursoinominado]

1 hour ago, Commodent said:

Consistent mindfulness practice with focus being on bodily sensations (and not necessarily eye perception and hearing). Also, keep doing what you're doing with barefoot walking etc. Maybe get a massage or something. Listen to your body's signals, eat when you're hungry, undress when warm etc. Attend to your body's needs. It has great value.

Using the chakra model, I can tell you that the problem you're describing is mostly associated to a deficient root chakra. When the root chakra is deficient, you don't really have any foundation to heal (or rather, activate) the chakras above it. For example, when you're ungrounded and disconnected from reality (deficient root chakra) you can't really be in touch with your feelings and relate well with other people (which is associated to 2nd chakra).

Deficient root chakra is usually caused by abuse/neglect in the very first months of your life. Most commonly from receiving too little physical contact and closeness from your parents.

Don't expect immediate results, as your root chakra has probably been more or less deficient your entire life. Just keep at it. With meditation and psychedelics you are really energizing your 6th and 7th chakra, but by doing so it's easy to lose touch of your ground. So you should probably ease on that for a while until you've gotten a strong sense grounding.

Holy shit, that was the best answer i could ask for. Seriously, hit the nail right in the head. I came here to share an insight i had right now and you came with the perfect response, this is exactly what's going on.

The insight is this one, if someone could share with me your point of view, that would be awesome:

I was watching this video: 

Matt explained perfectly that my conception of enlightenment was false, i was having the impression that if i got enlightened, i was going to lose my sense of self and lost all will to live life, everything would be so flat and i was going to do crazy shit like walking around naked or something because that's kind of the trajectory that i have been walking for a long time and things seems to be worse and i keep getting stuck in life.

I was trying to not have an ego so i didn't commit to anything because that, for me, would mean that my ego was strong and more difficult to peel away. It is a limiting belief lol

My version of partial enlightenment includes gurus who fucks their followers because they still have an ego and delude themselves.

My version of full enlightenment is ramana maharshi and neem karoli baba, two fully realized being that walk around with minimal clothes fully in the present not even caring for their bodies, if there were no followers they would sit and meditate into bliss until their bodies drop death like changing shirts. 

Edited May 16, 2019 by Recursoinominado

[Key Elements]

Here's a simple exercise:

Let's say this is the big picture. ? Well, what I do first is clean up only a small portion of my room. Let's say the bed first. And, then pick up everything from the floor using the bag. Then, the desk. Each could be done like this: day 1, day 2, day 3, etc.

A life purpose could be done in steps too. First find out what skill is marketable, and do you like that skill? Do you enjoy doing it?

[Recursoinominado]

6 minutes ago, Key Elements said:

Here's a simple exercise:

Let's say this is the big picture. ? Well, what I do first is clean up only a small portion of my room. Let's say the bed first. And, then pick up everything from the floor using the bag. Then, the desk. Each could be done like this: day 1, day 2, day 3, etc.

A life purpose could be done in steps too. First find out what skill is marketable, and do you like that skill? Do you enjoy doing it?

That's great advice, my life purpose is basically the same as Leo's, so i guess i could start with my communication skills because they are the ones that i could profit sooner. Plan: Public speaking, acting classes, practice game, film videos for Instagram every day, talk more, study about the subject. 

[Recursoinominado]

3 hours ago, Hellspeed said:

Spleen is key for this. Focusing on the Spleen taking energy from the crown and channel that with breath into muladhara. Basically left side of the body.

I appreciate your effort but i didn't understand

 

3 hours ago, Truth Addict said:

Ground yourself in surrendering.

Let life take control instead of trying to manipulate it. Just let go of the driving wheel. Everything is fine.

I am trying to not try lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

There are times when I explore a lot in groundlessness and it becomes too much. My mind and body tell me to slow tf down, rest, integrate and stabilize. In regards to PD, sometimes my mind and body has a hundred different fragments of realizations and aspects of reality popping up all over the place. Rather than make it more complicated, sometimes it’s helpful to simplify and deconstruct. 

I would listen to what my mind and body is trying to communicate. If it is trying to communicate we are waaay off balance into groundlessness, I would get in touch with that. Rather than getting immersed in disorganized thought stories, I would try to listen to the wisdom of the mind and body. Perhaps the body wants a sense of routine and structure. Perhaps a daily schedule. Perhaps the mind and body wants to take a break from consuming nonduality ideas and spend a bit of integrating. Perhaps the mind and body wants a short term goal to work toward. This can give a sense stability. For example, training for a 10k race or starting a 30 day yoga series. This type of structure, routine and short term goals can help recondition the mind and body. I would also spend some time contemplating each day, without spiraling down into the rabbit hole. Perhaps spend some time developing awareness of patterns of thinking/feeling that arise in the mind and body. Observe the nature of these patterns and the desire to change - without going down a storytelling rabbit hole. Or perhaps consider building attention and focus skills.

Just some ideas arising in my mind. Perhaps some may be useful, perhaps not. ? 

You are absolutely right, my body is screaming for some order, some schedule and some short-term goal. And i need to do some concentration meditation, my thoughts are running wild. 

[Commodent]

@Recursoinominado Haha, glad to hear. From the little I have seen of that video he seems to make a lot of sense. Someone who have spent a lot of time in their head and are well-developed spiritually and intellectually (like you seem to be) will probably be better off moving downwards towards the ground. That is, allowing yourself to be human by listening and attending to your body, connecting to your emotions, building a strong and healthy ego (which is important in order to manifest your will in the world) and so forth. As illustrated in the figure below:

If you found these things illuminating you would probably enjoy the book "Eastern Body, Western Mind" by Anodea Judith. That's where the figure above is from. I'm not familiar with the guy, but Matt Kahn definitely seems to be a good resource from what I have seen.

Edited May 16, 2019 by Commodent

[Recursoinominado]

 

 

 

 

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14 minutes ago, Commodent said:

@Recursoinominado Haha, glad to hear. From the little I have seen of that video he seems to make a lot of sense. Someone who have spent a lot of time in their head and are well-developed spiritually and intellectually (like you seem to be) will probably be better off moving downwards towards the ground. That is, allowing yourself to be human by listening and attending to your body, connecting to your emotions, building a strong and healthy ego (which is important in order to manifest your will in the world) and so forth. As illustrated in the figure below:

If you found these things illuminating you would probably enjoy the book "Eastern Body, Western Mind" by Anodea Judith. That's where the figure above is from. I'm not familiar with the guy, but Matt Kahn definitely seems to be a good resource from what I have seen.

Just downloaded this book! Matt is currently my favorite teacher of all because i can relate intimately with all of his teachings and often in the exact best moment that i need a specific teaching. It is a shame that they are equally important and difficult for me to apply, that's way i always return to him in order to have deeper and deeper insights until something clicks and i commit to one or more and change my life. 

[Bill W]

4 hours ago, Truth Addict said:

Ground yourself in surrendering.

Let life take control instead of trying to manipulate it. Just let go of the driving wheel. Everything is fine.

Love this. Actually I love this whole thread. I'm going to contemplate the suggestions and try to add my own feedback asap. Thanks for everyone who has responded. Great topic.

[Nahm]

@Recursoinominado Daily meditation. 30 min twice a day.

[cetus]

@Recursoinominado Take a survival course where you either become accutely aware of everything around you or you may not survive. That will ground you.

[Truth Addict]

@Recursoinominado 

Stop trying, give up.

Be whatever the present moment 'commands' you to be.

Edited May 17, 2019 by Truth Addict

[Aldo]

@Recursoinominado  I have this problem to what works for me is to focus in body. Bring your awareness to every body sensations. Try to be aware of every single move of the body. 

I try to do this as much as i can and it seems to put me in to the present moment and slow down my thoughts