Porn addiction

[theking00]

How can I cure my porn addiction? Porn has ruined my mind. I am addicted to porn since I was 18 years old and now I am 27 years old and I am still addicted to it. 

Edited May 15, 2019 by theking00

[Shin]

There is no easy way.

• Meditation helps to not give in to your thoughts patterns, and reinforcing your self-control.
• Work-out/Energetic sport and more importantly having a goal that you put a lot of your time on everyday helps channeling the energy and attention of your body/mind.
• Not masturbating until the addiction wear off helps a lot, because masturbation as of now is directly linked to porn in your mind.

When you indulge in it, be present just link in a meditation and be very aware of what you're doing and why.
Just indulging without being aware will get you stuck way longer.

Then it's pretty much patience and trying again and again until the addiction is over.

 

Edited May 15, 2019 by Shin

[Peo]

The only way i mange to cure my porn addiction was, that i watched porn so much that i got tired of it. I just watched it so much i eventually it just became boring and my addiction faded away. But if you have watched porn for over 9 years of your life i quess you dont get tired of watching porn.

[theking00]

55 minutes ago, Shin said:

There is no easy way.

• Meditation helps to not give in to your thoughts patterns, and reinforcing your self-control.
• Work-out/Energetic sport and more importantly having a goal that you put a lot of your time on everyday helps channeling the energy and attention of your body/mind.
• Not masturbating until the addiction wear off helps a lot, because masturbation as of now is directly linked to porn in your mind.

When you indulge in it, be present just link in a meditation and be very aware of what you're doing and why.
Just indulging without being aware will get you stuck way longer.

Then it's pretty much patience and trying again and again until the addiction is over.

 

Does nofap work?  

Edited May 15, 2019 by theking00

[Shin]

6 minutes ago, theking00 said:

Does nofap work?  

Works for what ?

[theking00]

4 minutes ago, Shin said:

Works for what ?

to cure porn addiction, 

[Shin]

1 minute ago, theking00 said:

to cure porn addiction, 

You don't really have a choice about this, so I would say yes.

[JohnnyBravo]

Hey @theking00

The very wording of your question reveals your spiritual attitude behind this issues for you.

"How do I go about quitting this addiction?" Well, you just stop doing the behaviour.

But the way you have worded it shows to me that you are in search, perhaps, of some mystical technique or forumal for beating this.

There is one of my favourite quotes that came to me during my 30 day (nearly) meditation retreat,

"...Spirit first. Techniques are secondary."- Jigoro Kano, founder of Judo.

So already you are defeated. Even as you have typed this question, you are not even resolves on quitting this. You have decided, "Until I get the correct technique, THEN I will start."

Do not bother about WHAT technique or method to quit porn. There are countless tools out there, some have worked for people, some have not. For each method is a person, and there are countless journeys to get to the mountain top. The important thing Buddha would tell you is, it doesn't matter how you get to the mountain top- which road you take or which items you take it irrelevant- the point is GET TO THE TOP!

And you are not thinking in this fashion, yet.

Basically, here is the single principal behind giving up any addiction- and yes it conflicts with Leo's video on addiction, but since you asked me and I am a fan of DBZ also, it seems that I am a Sensei Piccolo telling a Young Gohan how to get stronger. Gohan asks, "How do I get motivation to get stronger?" Sorry, I cant give you motivation. But here is the principal.

Spirit first, technique second.

Meaning, until you have a hungry burning resolve and intent to quit porn, you never will.

That is the truth.

Even a junkie, no matter how achy the pains he experiences or what gate holes he must pass through- if he is INTENT on quitting his drug, he will use WHATEVER TOOL IS AVAILABLE without question. Why without question? Because he has the COMMITMENT and INTENT to quit; the methodology is pointless by this stage.

In fact, some former addicts will tell you, if you ask them what they did to quit, they will tell you, "I just decided to quit one day and I did."

Addicts- including people who look at porn against their will- usually have issues setting boundaries with themselves and other people. Hence why they cannot freely and easily say "no" to themselves.

You can test this out- try going 2 weeks where every single day you DELIBERATLY watch porn for 1 hour. You will not be able to. Yes I mean YOU not just anyone- because you have issues with boundaries on yourself. You need to study the skill of commitment to things- this is why I referred Leo to study Kyokushin Karate (one reason). The Karate spirit is intense and firey- you can do anything with the correct intent and decision and spirit.

Right now, you lack all spirit. Where has your spirit gone?

Either quit porn, or make the bold choice "I refuse to quit porn and I will indulge." Either way, YOU must be the MASTER of the situation.

So the ultimate technique and principal is as follows,

Spirit first, technique second.

But right now, intend to re-gain your spirit of determination and zest. Until you do this, you will be able to accomplish nothing in life.

If this is too hard, then patiently accept this as such, and go ahead engaging in porn, but resolve to regain your spirit and skill of sticking to things- regain your willpower and intent- and then you can one day give the no porn challenge a try.

Get a small 'resume' of accompishments and routines and things you can STICK TO with commitment and spirit, and then give porn a go. Examples,

- Every day, no matter what, I will make my bed when I wake up in the morning

- 30 days of jogging/exercise every single day without skipping even one day

- Every morning when you wake up, the first thing you do before looking at your smart phone is to drink a glass of water and set an intention for the day.

Build up, build up. Get your spirit. Then one day when you feel spiritually in tune with your body and mind, deciding to stop looking at porn every day is absolutely easy.

The tool I used to quit porn was hypnosis. But my spirit was strong before 'stumbling' upon this means to quit. And the hypnosis was non-porn-related, it was purely on self confidence.

Good luck man, trust yourself and your timing, and resolve to get a strong spirit as your next thing to do. You can do this. But you must believe in your own fist first.

[JohnnyBravo]

Sorry that was the founder of different Karate, not the Judo founder.

https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&id=788B1B24902A0692245CBD5AEF0D6FB591B42E47&thid=OIP.zx2yMr_JIIF63ICHFQpE1gAAAA&mediaurl=https%3A%2F%2Fs-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2F564x%2Fb0%2F50%2Fa4%2Fb050a41cc5abb2a744d78ac299967792.jpg&exph=714&expw=449&q=spirit+first+technique+second&selectedindex=1&ajaxhist=0&vt=0&eim=1,2,6

[Peo]

47 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

The best thing would be for you to get a girlfriend.  And then just stop looking at porn.  You'll slip every now and again, but not too much.

Would not you just replace porn with a girlfriend. Insted of looking at porn you will rather then look at your girlfriend.

[Shin]

If he does that, his sex life with that girl will be horrible and based on lust only.

He may not even be able to love a woman untill the porn addiction wears off, because when you do are addict to it,

Women are just piece of meat in which you can masturbate into.

[LittleMaslow]

Everyone is going to have a different opinion on how to get over this, so here's my two cents.

First, watch Leo's video "Awareness Alone is Curative" and soak up the lesson that just observing yourself doing unwanted behaviors can help you overcome them. Then, using this idea, the next time you watch porn and fap to it, be mindful the whole time of what is happening and don't allow yourself to go unconscious while you're doing it. Notice every thought in your mind and sensation in your mind without beating yourself up and judging yourself for your behavior and go through this process of awareness every time you're using porn. You'll start to notice how disgusted you are with yourself and start gradually letting go of it. I didn't realize it at the time, but simply being aware of my behavior while I was quitting smoking and how disgusting I felt while I was smoking made it much easier to cold turkey, flying elbow drop my smoking habit.

Nextly, if you're familiar with the Sedona Method or David Hawkins's "Letting Go" technique, be aware of what emotions and sensations are happening within your body before, during or after using porn. Literally have a conversation with your emotions and be curious about what you're feeling, where it's coming from and don't try to escape from it by getting distracted with your addictive behavior.  You'll find that your emotions will "speak" to you because part of your psyche wants and needs resolution. Hear it out until the sensations go away and do that repeatedly. I've gotten over A LOT of fears and addictive bullshit by just listening to my emotions and releasing them.

Lastly, you could also try unplugging from the Internet for a few days or a week (if you're in a place in life where you can do that without fucking up your work obligations). Just sit around and use something like the "Do Nothing" meditation technique and let thoughts, sensations and urges flow through you. I've noticed in myself that my past addictions have all kinda circled around that idea that "All of humanity's problems stem from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone" and that the cure is literally sitting in a room alone and letting urges pass through me.

I'm pretty sure all of the ideas in my post are coming from Leo's videos so I'm just passing along things I've tried and found useful so hopefully some of this will help. As with any advice, try it out and see what's useful to you personally and throw out the stuff that doesn't work for you.

 

Edited May 17, 2019 by LittleMaslow
I had more to say and my grammar was poopoo

[JohnnyBravo]

@LittleMaslow

Good unique perspective.

Was this the method you used to quit porn?

Edited May 17, 2019 by JohnnyBravo

[Javfly33]

Porn will be out of your life when you´re lifestyle doesn´t match with porn. 

For example, do you feel like binging on porn when you recently went out running/exercising?

Do you feel like binging on porn when you have social appointments or a date that day?

You get my point, right?

There´s plenty of stuff to do but the "fastest" way to get porn out of your life is mainly fix your dopamine chasing habit (1. By exercising long-enough reguarly EACH DAY) and (2. ) by having enough social interactions/appointment conection with people.

Start changing your life enough to do a lot of those two points (especially 2., but don´t forget number 1) and you won´t have to worry about porn. 

Don´t try to change but instead try techniques or "magic-pills" (like nofap, meditation, kratom etc) and prepare for a long time high and lows, suffering, hopes, and relapses.

 

Source: Personal experience

Edited May 20, 2019 by Javfly33

[integral]

1) When i set a goal and start working on it, i start by setting up my environment for success.In this case i would set it up so it would be impossible to access porn on any computer in the house. This would involve install ad blocks and throwing away the key pertinently, while blocking the extension page so you cant disable it. Deleting all other browsers on the computer and blocking all sites where you can download other browsers. Block reddit... Make it hard to stop watching porn. 

2) Next Find a hobby to replace your interests, a big mistake people make with spirituality in general is they try to "stop" doing something, this is impossible, instead focus on something else. Identify a habit and replace it with a better one, do this incrementally, never try to stop. In this case it appears that you have nothing else to do or work on, So find something your interested in and do that. This could involve martial arts, chess, programming, skateboarding, video games, anything. 

3) Also baby steps... try masturbating with out porn and limiting that to 1 a day. 

4) Also in general follow the path of self improvement, work to become the best version of your self everyday. Develop a growth mindset and things like this become effortless to overcome. 

Edited May 26, 2019 by integral

[Shin]

I wish I could tell you how.
I dropped it instantly, and only relapsed once for one day in 2 years (still think it's a miracle ).
Masturbation is an another thing though, every 2 week if I'm sad/in a low energy phase I can give in for a day or two.

I think the most importants parts are to read about how porn fuck with your mind with different studies
And how much aware you are of your thoughts/compulsions and just let them be without acting on them.

[Adilbek]

@LittleMaslow Thank you very much brother

[LittleMaslow]

@JohnnyBravo Thanks for asking. I don't remember (fully) how I stopped watching porn since it was a while ago. I stopped regularly using porn around the time that I started seeing a girl who I was having sex with on a consistent basis. That alone helped a lot and, afterwards, I was less tempted to masturbate until we both moved and didn't live in the same city but kept a long-distance thing going. I had to notice a lot of my fucked up "peripheral porn habits" as well... which included wasting time surfing around instagram looking at girls I thought were attractive (I'm ashamed to admit that I did this but I guess owning up to this crap is part of the recovery process).

I think the things that I've mentioned are particularly useful methods for dealing with urges and the process of suffocating the addiction. To fully quit something, you first have to say "you know what, fuck this habit and this lifestyle. I hate the person this has turned me into and I'll do anything I can to quit this nonsense." From there, finding positive habits to fill the space and cultivating your environment so it doesn't provoke you to engage in the unwanted habit would be the next things. So you could start exercising, reading, walking/running, meditating or some other activity that replaces the time you'd spend fapping and then using apps or browser extensions to block yourself from adult content or something like that. From there, either ween yourself off and only fap once a week (no porn, imagination only) or just don't fap at all. In my experience, quitting cold turkey and then having a random fap now and then with no porn or external stimulation like pictures (imagination only) isn't gonna kill you.

I'm at a point now where every time I want to fap or start entertaining the idea, I notice and shine awareness on what I'm doing, how it's making me feel and especially how it makes me feel about myself and I just get bored and stop. I think I have a nofap "streak" going but I couldn't tell you how long it's been and I don't care at this point. I'm glad that I get bored every time I want to or start to masturbate.

Anyways, I hope some of that helps. I used to browse through the NoFap subreddit and learned a lot of useful things about addiction there and to an extent I'm still on the NoFap journey, but breaking myself from masturbation in general and then being able to cut out the urges like a cancer was the most useful. I find that I built a momentum of love and respect for myself through quitting masturbating alongside with quitting alcohol and getting a better diet. Also, exercising everyday even for just a little while in the morning is HUGE for building up those natural, positive emotion chemicals. In general, it's been a holistic process of generally just cleaning up my life and letting go of the shit that was harming me. I'm still working on some things but I've mostly got a handle on a fair majority of it. I hope my words might be of some help to anyone reading!

[Shin]

I will make a more complete post later

But what can I say from personal experience, is that quitting porn and masturbation will give you complete control on your sexual urges on the long term (obviously with proper consciousness/shadow work alongside).

Don't think of this as a luxury, it's mandatory if you want to have amazing sex and maintain a healthy relationship with a very high quality woman.

Edited June 10, 2019 by Shin

[Gili Trawangan]

@Shin I would be very interested in reading further about what you wrote here. Especially the part about being able to control your sexual urges. 

2 minutes ago, Shin said:

I will make a more complete post later

But what can I say from personal experience, is that quitting porn and masturbation will give you complete control on your sexual urges on the long term (obviously with proper consciousness/shadow work alongside).

Don't think of this as a luxury, it's mandatory if you want to have great sex and maintain a relationship with a very high quality woman.