Huge Consciousness Shift after Ego Backlash

[Socrates]

Straight to the point, ill divide the texts to ego backlash chapter and consciousness shift chapter for easier comprehension.

• Ego Backlash: 4 months ago I was really into psychedelics I had a great experience after my 2 tabs trip in the woods and got a really good taste of psychedelics. It had been some time and I tripped 2 weeks back to back. Those two trips were confusing as fuck. On the first trip, I saw a battle like the ego was battling to survive and after the trance phase I had a glimpse of nonduality which was looking at my trip sitter speaking and it felt like I was speaking which was pretty profound. That didn't last long and I couldn't wait to trip again but the 2nd trip was a flop which started 3 months of ego backlash. The next 4 months consisted of cigarettes (hadn't smoked in 2 and a half years), weed, drinking, video games, junk food and of course no meditation nor yoga or even gym.
• Consciousness Shift: I don't really know how to explain this. My experience has been really self-luminous and especially today it is like I am tripping. It actually feels like I am high on LSD but I am totally sober. I get the HD vision and the presence of the LSD and oh boy this is too intense to happen out of the blue. It feels like the body is inside of a ball of experience, I am not the body but I still don't know what I am. If I focus there is something new in my experience but I can't put my hand into it. It feels now the real work starts, this is too radical...

  @Leo Gura what is this?

[Shin]

Niiiiiiice ?

[Conrad]

With every ego backlash there is a rising of consciousness after the ego backlash has been conqured. In my experience, the ego backlash always fades away in the end and God-awareness comes back stronger.

To even say that is wrong because God-awareness never actually "came back", it is always present. But sometimes it gives space for the ego and there is a good reason for it: To make you conqure it and become stronger, to learn from it. 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Socrates said:

what is this?

What do you mean what is this? It is growth. What did you expect?

2 steps forward 1 step back.

[Shin]

27 minutes ago, Conrad said:

With every ego backlash there is a rising of consciousness after the ego backlash has been conqured. In my experience, the ego backlash always fades away in the end and God-awareness comes back stronger.

To even say that is wrong because God-awareness never actually "came back", it is always present. But sometimes it gives space for the ego and there is a good reason for it: To make you conqure it and become stronger, to learn from it. 

So the best strategy is to stay in the backlash forever ?

*taking notes*

[Conrad]

3 minutes ago, Shin said:

So the best strategy is to stay in the backlash forever ?

*taking notes*

If only I could 

?

[Shin]

1 minute ago, Conrad said:

If only I could 

?

No you're right, I'm already planning a solo retreat.

Right just after I finally stepped out of the backlash.

Stupid brain.

[Conrad]

Just now, Shin said:

No you're right, I'm already planning a solo retreat.

Right just after I finally stepped out of the backlash.

Stupid brain.

?

[DrewNows]

40 minutes ago, Conrad said:

With every ego backlash there is a rising of consciousness after the ego backlash has been conqured. In my experience, the ego backlash always fades away in the end and God-awareness comes back stronger.

To even say that is wrong because God-awareness never actually "came back", it is always present. But sometimes it gives space for the ego and there is a good reason for it: To make you conqure it and become stronger, to learn from it. 

I don't like to think of it as "being conquered" but the backlash is great for growth when seen as an opportunity to learn from guilt, shame and desire. Simply bringing awareness to the activities may bring many insights of the inner workings of the mind 

[Conrad]

1 minute ago, DrewNows said:

I don't like to think of it as "being conquered" but the backlash is great for growth when seen as an opportunity to learn from guilt, shame and desire. Simply bringing awareness to the activities may bring many insights of the inner workings of the mind 

Indeed ? A ego backlash IS growth, in some way or another. 

[Socrates]

@Leo Gura What is this on the Ox scale for example? Did I see the Ox? Did I touch it? 

I can see the growth but that is too generic. I need to put it in context to realize where I am at in this spiritual journey.

[Gabriel Antonio]

1 hour ago, Shin said:

Niiiiiiice

How is that nice?  

 

34 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

What do you mean what is this? It is growth. What did you expect?

GROWTH? ARE YOU KIDDING? ??????

 

 

2 hours ago, Socrates said:

I saw a battle like the ego was battling to survive 

Are you trying to kill the ego? That's dual, man...

Ego = God

Lower self = Higher self

Low consciousness = High consciousness

Ego Backlash = Consciousness shift

 

2 hours ago, Socrates said:

The next 4 months consisted of cigarettes (hadn't smoked in 2 and a half years), weed, drinking, video games, junk food and of course no meditation nor yoga or even gym.

Well, I was going to advise you to not take psychedelics (at least for a while), but I just smoked some 5-MeO-DMT, and I became You, and here's my advice from Infinite Intelligence: 

"THE EGO IS ATTACKING YOUR HIGHER SELF!!!!! YOU SHOULD TAKE MORE PSYCHEDELICS TO KILL THE EGO!!!!!!!!!!"

 

2 hours ago, Socrates said:

Consciousness Shift: I don't really know how to explain this. My experience has been really self-luminous and especially today it is like I am tripping. It actually feels like I am high on LSD but I am totally sober. I get the HD vision and the presence of the LSD and oh boy this is too intense to happen out of the blue. It feels like the body is inside of a ball of experience, I am not the body but I still don't know what I am. If I focus there is something new in my experience but I can't put my hand into it. It feels now the real work starts, this is too radical...

Don't spiritualize this by calling it a "consciousness shift". When I used to drink ayahuasca frequently, I would get those A LOT. I thought I was getting enlightened 

This is just a flashback from your LSD trips. This is a widely known phenomenon with psychedelics. If you want to become a psychonaut, at least do some basic research, man! @_@'

 

Btw - How are you so sure you're not the body? Just because Leo told you so? 

[Shin]

2 minutes ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

How is that nice?  

 

GROWTH? ARE YOU KIDDING? ??????

 

 

Are you trying to kill the ego? That's dual, man...

Ego = God

Lower self = Higher self

Low consciousness = High consciousness

Ego Backlash = Consciousness shift

 

Well, I was going to advise you to not take psychedelics (at least for a while), but I just smoked some 5-MeO-DMT, and I became You, and here's my advice from Infinite Intelligence: 

"THE EGO IS ATTACKING YOUR HIGHER SELF!!!!! YOU SHOULD TAKE MORE PSYCHEDELICS TO KILL THE EGO!!!!!!!!!!"

 

Don't spiritualize this by calling it a "consciousness shift". When I used to drink ayahuasca frequently, I would get those A LOT. I thought I was getting enlightened 

This is just a flashback from your LSD trips. This is a widely known phenomenon with psychedelics. If you want to become a psychonaut, at least do some basic research, man! @_@'

 

Btw - How are you so sure you're not the body? Just because Leo told you so? 

 

Dude,
I never seen you positive on this forum,

Never once.

You sure you're doing this work right ?

[Gabriel Antonio]

Just now, Shin said:

Dude,
I never seen you positive on this forum,

Never once.

You sure you're doing this work right ?

I am in a permanent state of nonduality, man. I don't understand what "positive" means. It's all one!! 

Positive = Negative = Form = No Form = Ox Tale = Hitler 

Therefore, I am not positive, because I don't like Hitler. 

 

But seriously, check some topics I created two years ago. I was extremely positive and butterfly and rainbows type of spiritual person, yet I also so deluded. 

I cringe when I read those. I see a lot of delusion in this forum, and I refuse myself to have a positive reaction to them. People are on a dead-end, yet they think they're evolving. I've been there. 

 

Quote

 

“The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience.  And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.”

~ Mark Manson

 

 

[Leo Gura]

25 minutes ago, Socrates said:

@Leo Gura What is this on the Ox scale for example? Did I see the Ox? Did I touch it? 

I can see the growth but that is too generic. I need to put it in context to realize where I am at in this spiritual journey.

If we look at this using the metaphor of human schooling: K-12 and university.

You have just completed 1 year of preschool.

Congratulations!

[Shin]

1 minute ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

I am in a permanent state of nonduality, man. I don't understand what "positive" means. It's all one!! 

Positive = Negative = Form = No Form = Ox Tale = Hitler 

Therefore, I am not positive, because I don't like Hitler. 

 

But seriously, check some topics I created two years ago. I was extremely positive and butterfly and rainbows type of spiritual person, yet I also so deluded. 

I cringe when I read those. I see a lot of delusion in this forum, and I refuse myself to have a positive reaction to them. People are on a dead-end, yet they think they're evolving. I've been there. 

 

 

But this shows you're not accepting those things.
So you're basically resisting reality.

Isn't that a huge red flag in spirituality ?

[Socrates]

@Leo Gura You mean Murica schooling, I am not familiar with those metaphors  

[Gabriel Antonio]

1 hour ago, Socrates said:

What is this on the Ox scale for example? Did I see the Ox? Did I touch it? 

Stop asking for validation. Seriously, it's cringey. 

 

54 minutes ago, Shin said:

But this shows you're not accepting those things.
So you're basically resisting reality.

Acceptance is not a passive thing. It's not a permissive kind of thing of like, "Oh.. the world is perfect, so I won't do shit. Everything is taken care of by God". I accept reality as it is, and I accept my reaction to it. Does that make sense? 

 

54 minutes ago, Shin said:

Isn't that a huge red flag in spirituality ?

To me, a huge red flag in spirituality is actually being a my-little-pony type of person.

For example, someone is being rude and disrespectful to you, and you think to yourself, "Oh... I am not going to react to that. I am a positive, light and love spiritual being having this human experience."

And then, you say to the person: "I love you" with an enlightened laugh and then, the resistance of the person drops and both of you fall into tears of Infinite Compassion & Unconditional Love. 

 

Another example would be there's a snake that's on your neck. As an Ascended Master who is embodying Truth (with a capital "T"), what do you do? Would you do whatever you can to take the snake off of you?

No, no, no!!! Wrong answer! You just got an F in spirituality. Why? Because that would be your ego trying to survive.

What an Enlightened Master -- like "me" (I don't exist btw) -- would do is: caress the snake.

I'm 100% unconditionally loving to all beings. If I die, I don't care. I am ego-less. That would sure get me an A+  

Edited May 14, 2019 by Gabriel Antonio

[DrewNows]

5 minutes ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

To me, a huge red flag in spirituality is actually being a my-little-pony type of person

???

youre funny dude! I give ?

“Whatever you think you need to do, youre wrong! And if you think about thinking whether to do something, you’re also wrong! Less thinking and more doing”  

[Shin]

21 minutes ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

Stop asking for validation. Seriously, it's cringey. 

 

Acceptance is not a passive thing. It's not a permissive kind of thing of like, "Oh.. the world is perfect, so I won't do shit. Everything is taken care of by God". I accept reality as it is, and I accept my reaction to it. Does that make sense? 

 

To me, a huge red flag in spirituality is actually being a my-little-pony type of person.

For example, someone is being rude and disrespectful to you, and you think to yourself, "Oh... I am not going to react to that. I am a positive, light and love spiritual being having this human experience."

And then, you say to the person: "I love you" with an enlightened laugh and then, the resistance of the person drops and both of you fall into tears of Infinite Compassion & Unconditional Love. 

Another example would be there's a snake that's on your neck. As an Ascended Master who is embodying Truth (with a capital "T"), what do you do? Would you do whatever you can to take the snake off of you?

No, no, no! Bam! Wrong answer! You just got an F in spirituality. Why? Because that would be your ego trying to survive.

What an Enlightened Master -- like "me" (pardon the language, words cannot express the infinite wisdom that passes through me -- would do is: caress the snake. I'm 100% unconditionally loving to all beings. If I die, I don't care. I am egoless. That would sure get me an A+. 

I knew you would say that

That's not what I meant.

What I meant, is that you can accept something, let's say, someone punching your face.
You accept that it happened, you don't hold any grudge or anger, internally.
You accept that this person is an ass, that you've been hurt, there is no emotional turmoil inside, because you let it go instantly.
You may not even judge or criticize the situation in the first place, if you've been practicing for a long time.

Externally, you may either beat the shit out of that person,
Or not,
That depends on many things, your 'level' of awareness, if the situation is really dangerous, if you're drunk of whatever other circumstances.
 

That's a case of being physically agressed, which is a bit different than seeing "delusions" like you said on this forum.
In that case you don't accept (internally)  those persons the way they are,

Which is reflected in the way you try to help them,
Which is more about giving a lesson than giving advices,
More about being right than being loving.
 

Now, in a sense, I can't know if you're accepting internally or not,
But since I never saw you being positive, not even once, then I can assume pretty accurately that you're not accepting internally at all.
That you are judging, resisting, whatever you're criticizing (and you're always criticizing, not just communicating, too).

Don't think I'm telling you this because I want to "expose" you, or anything like that,
I'm just pointing a potential flaw in you,
As a friend.
 

Edited May 14, 2019 by Shin