The Loneliness of Yellow Spiral Thinking

[ivory]

4 hours ago, Yellow_Girl said:

I did feel attacked and ridiculed on this board where I came for a discussion on the topic of issues with certain belief structures. I will keep looking for a place to be understood, or at least find comfort in not being understood.

I think you should stay. There are plenty on this forum who do understand you. Keep in mind that everyone on this forum is at a different level of development and each person's path is unique. Lines will get crossed, some will agree or disagree, and some will try to elevate their sense of self worth by putting you down. It comes with the territory. 

[ivory]

@ajasatya Let's try to be more welcoming to the newcomers. The OP may have some blindspots but I see no value in pointing them all out. I'm all for helping others out and being honest about what you see, but use some discretion. Check your spiritual ego.

[ajasatya]

35 minutes ago, ivory said:

but use some discretion

point taken. thank you.

[Mu_]

1 hour ago, ajasatya said:

@Mu_ yeap, it's very easy to choose sides here. very interesting to see how some people agree with me and some people do not. i'm fine with both.

even though i know that there is no such thing as "superiority" in reality (just in imagination), i was intentionally outputting a tone of fantasized superiority just so that she could see her own flaw in my words. sometimes it works right away, sometimes it doesn't. but i'm sure her experience here hit somewhere it should hit and she'll spend some time thinking about it. the memory may even haunt her for a while on her search for validation.

the internal journey is often unpleasant. sometimes we see things we didn't expect to see. sometimes it smells more than we think it would!

what she is seeking cannot be found anywhere else. it's not that people should understand her. it's not about finding a new system of beliefs. it's certainly not about building up her way to dissatisfaction and isolation by identifying herself with a "superior stage". peace of heart is rare because humility and self development are tricky/paradoxical.

love is not always soft and warm. the words of a true friend can hurt you in the first moment.

It’s good to see a non reactive response to what I said to you and it seems that you may use more discretion in the future from your last reply to ivory. 

I think it’s important to let in that where you think she is coming may be incorrect and it’s important to consider this. I don’t think she was coming from a place of superiority (maybe she was). But without knowing a little bit more your trying to teach a lesson that may just come across as just putting words in her mouth or at the worst just coming across as kinda a dick.  I’ve done the same and have learned and am learning that it’s generally better to err on the side of not knowing and as such just get to know the other and be kind till a more certain clear picture of the person arises  

She seems genuine and stable enough to not crumble from an approach like that but I do question if she will see anything more then someone who couldn’t connect with what she was saying and hoping to get answers insight and likeness of experience. 

Sometimes people just need a friend, validation and acknowledgement about the confusing nature of ‘real’ challenges and dilemmas that are hard on the human heart AND are part of the journey. I highlight AND because it’s what happens to and as ‘god/Self’ and understanding such can open a compassion that is ‘unconditionally positive’ where you can care for another like a child. And yes children need sternness sometimes but you do it when the child trusts and knows you and maybe even loves you. Otherwise the other is just going to see you as another human stranger that is just being edgy or Dickish. 

I honestly think you will get further in helping people which I can feel you want to, with a more heartfelt approach to strangers. 

Edited May 14, 2019 by Mu_

[Forestluv]

@Yellow_Girl I can relate to the feeling of  lonliness with a Yellow mindset and how difficult it can be to communicate. I think you ask some great questions regarding how to create and live within social networks. I hope you return to discuss more. I’m a big fan of Yellow level discussions ? 

@ajasatya Wrong lens, way off. Inappropriate portrayals. 

[Shin]

19 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

@Yellow_Girl I can relate to the feeling of  lonliness with a Yellow mindset and how difficult it can be to communicate. I think you ask some great questions regarding how to create and live within social networks. I hope you return to discuss more. I’m a big fan of Yellow level discussions ? 

@ajasatya Wrong lens, way off. Inappropriate portrayals. 

If only you could scold Leo lol

[DrewNows]

8 minutes ago, Shin said:

If only you could scold Leo lol

I kind of like seeing Leo give people shit because he has a different affect based off his videos. They may be more willing to contemplate the harsh judgements he conjures 

[Forestluv]

12 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

They may be more willing to contemplate the harsh judgements he conjures 

It’s not so much harsh judgements, it’s inaccurate judgements. Responding to someone asking Yellow level questions about inter-personal communication within social structures by suggesting she has repressed emotions, trauma and family disfunction is way off the mark. Its like someone coming to a doctor for help with an eye infection and he thinks she broke her leg because she had been neglecting her family. It’s not the harshness, it’s an incorrect filter and inability to relate and intuit what is being communicated. 

I’ve had very similar communication challenges when I’m in yelliw mindsets. It can be very lonely due to inability to communicate on this wavelength with everyone around me. I only have two people in real life I can have tier2 discussions with. It can be lonely and I’ve thought a lot about how to create a healthy social life. It’s not about repressed emotions, past traumas or dysfunctional family dynamics. 

[Shin]

3 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

It’s not so much harsh judgements, it’s inaccurate judgements. Responding to someone asking Yellow level questions about inter-personal communication within social structures with suggestions she has repressed emotions, trauma and family disfunction is way off the mark. Its like someone coming to a doctor for help with an eye infection and he thinks she broke her leg because she had been neglecting her family. It’s not the harshness, it’s an incorrect filter and inability to relate and intuit what is being communicated. 

Leo does that all the time.

[Forestluv]

@Shin I think development along empathetic, emotional and intuitive lines are key in this area. With less emphasis on the cognitive, analytical line.

[Flatworld Crusades]

@Serotoninluv I absolutely agree with you. It was just nasty.

[RendHeaven]

6 hours ago, ivory said:

@ajasatya Let's try to be more welcoming to the newcomers. The OP may have some blindspots but I see no value in pointing them all out. I'm all for helping others out and being honest about what you see, but use some discretion. Check your spiritual ego.

+1, well said.

[DrewNows]

@Serotoninluv I’m strictly speaking about Leo and not about this thread, sorry if it came off as otherwise. I would agree this thread was out of hand proposing many projections 

the unknown judgment/predictions are often unwarranted but sometimes quite spot on...Leo doesn’t do them for no particular reason and I would hint Aj is operating out of the same ball park with his advice. I expect the yellow gal will be back but she has a lot of inner work to be done 

Leo is often ruthless and inconsiderate in his posts but these are lessons for a wider audience imo

 

Edited May 14, 2019 by DrewNows

[ivory]

10 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

Leo is often ruthless and inconsiderate in his posts

I agree.

[Michael569]

Being Yellow does not mean you skip over all stages and dump everything they have to offer. To me, your post seems a bit too mechanical, lacking a breath of humanity, empathy, compassion and just the general soft skills that make us human. Perhaps you have skipped over green too fast and may need to go back re-connect with people and savour some more joy of socialising, caring, and being more joyful and playful like a child before moving on? 

Perhaps you are judging everybody around you for not being as evolved but make sure that is not just your ego thinking it is better then everybody else and that prevents you from properly connecting with them?  Even at stage yellow, SD can still be a big ego-rollercoaster of competing with other people. 

Orange will compare muscles in the gym, purple will compare amount of scalps and skulls he took from his enemies, blue will compare honorable badges for service to the country....and yellow will compare evolution on spiral

Edited May 14, 2019 by Michael569

[bejapuskas]

5 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

It’s not so much harsh judgements, it’s inaccurate judgements. Responding to someone asking Yellow level questions about inter-personal communication within social structures by suggesting she has repressed emotions, trauma and family disfunction is way off the mark. Its like someone coming to a doctor for help with an eye infection and he thinks she broke her leg because she had been neglecting her family. It’s not the harshness, it’s an incorrect filter and inability to relate and intuit what is being communicated. 

Why do you think that is the case? I actually had a very similar problem, I freaked out many people by talking to them like this and it turned out, that I was also very egotistical and harsh when interacting with my family members... I think that by fixing your relationship with your parents and siblings is a big opporunity to grow  Obviously, we cannot know, if this is exactly her case, but you know, it very well could be from what she was saying. It doesn't have to be a big disfunction, sometimes it's just a little bit of arguing and stuff...

Edit: I also had some repressed emotions and traumas, again, not something crazy, but yeh... 

Edited May 14, 2019 by bejapuskas

[ajasatya]

interesting... this thread is still paying out! 

10 hours ago, Mu_ said:

I do question if she will see anything more then someone who couldn’t connect with what she was saying and hoping to get answers insight and likeness of experience

i'm pretty sure she will, it's just a matter of time. eventually it will click like an engine booting up.

when i was 16~17, there was a lot of pride and frustration in my experience because i thought of myself as being more evolved than everyone else around me. huuuge ego trip!

zen has taught me differently, though. zen can be harsh on the mental barriers but it has a very specific goal: to open space for the heart. yellow girl thought she was going deep by talking complex, but in the end it's just mental noise. just like @Michael569, i didn't sense a single word imbued with spirit.

but i'm not made out of stone. i am learning from this. not everyone has chosen to learn from zen

[Truth Addict]

On 13/05/2019 at 8:02 PM, Yellow_Girl said:

The Loneliness of Yellow Spiral Thinking

There you go. I underlined the source of your loneliness.

I read the discussion, and I hope you don't get discouraged by the harsh advice some people tend to give. They want your good as much as you want to connect.

You are definitely at stage Yellow, it's very obvious from what you wrote.

What I think you need the most right now is A LOT of meditation, you've been conditioned to think a lot, to the point where you disconnected yourself from feelings and emotions. You think that you feel, but you actually don't feel at all. Any of this resonates?

Loneliness is a common problem for intelligent people who use their intellect quite often.

Nature, walking, meditation, music, rest, reflection, humility, suffering, and other things were part of my resolution, and I wasn't even Yellow, I think with being Yellow it'll be much more rewarding. I hope you find your resolution very soon, and I know you will 

❤️

Edited May 14, 2019 by Truth Addict

[Forestluv]

@DrewNows Thank you for the clarification. Personally, I wouldn’t make the assumption that “a lot of inner work needs to be done”.

@bejapuskas we each have our personal filters based on the story we have created about “me”, “my experiences” and “how things are”. If a mind is limited to this particular filter, it will interpret stimuli through this filter. It is a contracted mind state. For example, someone may speak of loneliness. This goes through the perceiver’s filter - through their experience and thought stories about what loneliness means. The stories of their own loneliness, all the videos they watched about loneliness, all they personal work they put into loneliness and what should be done when loneliness arises. When they hear another speak of loneliness, it goes through their own personality filter. Like a projector, it projects images into a screen. These are relative, limited, contracted images. Attachment and identification with such experiences and thought story will keep the mind in a contracted state. . . As I reflect on loneliness, I would say I can make several distinctions of loneliness. I’ve experienced perhaps four distinct forms. I’d say two of those is at the personal level involving personal psychological dynamics to repressed emotions, past trauma, insecurity etc. Yet there are also transcendent post-personal forms of loneliness that is “above” these tier1 personal need-based personality construct dynamics. Of course, there can be inter-relatedness between the two - especially as a mind-body transitions into tier2. If I had to guess, this is the main dynamic of the OP. It is a green-yellow hybrid transition, more expansive and sophisticated than what some seem to be reducing it to. . . . The tier1 to tier2 transition is absolutely enormous. Cognitive thinking is just one aspect. It goes waaay beyond that.

Notice statements like “you are this”, “loneliness is this”, “Yellow is this”, “You need to do this”. These are are reflective of contraction, attachment and identification. A contracted view. It offers grounding and stability, yet it prevents exploration, discover and expansion.

Along the lines f the OP, I live in a small town. I’m fairly athletic and like to do outdoorsy recreation. Very few people in my town are oriented like this. They are much more docile and do outdoor activities like fishing. I’m more into running and cycling. The nearest city to me is an hour away. So, I do most of my outdoor activities solo. It can be lonely at times. This loneliness has nothing to do with past trauma, repressed emotions or family disjunction. Dumping that stuff on to me would be portrayal of one’s own experience and storyline. At times, At times, I would just like to share these sporty activities with others. Similar to what the OP described, it can be challenging to create healthy social networks. 

[Mu_]

5 hours ago, ajasatya said:

interesting... this thread is still paying out! 

i'm pretty sure she will, it's just a matter of time. eventually it will click like an engine booting up.

when i was 16~17, there was a lot of pride and frustration in my experience because i thought of myself as being more evolved than everyone else around me. huuuge ego trip!

zen has taught me differently, though. zen can be harsh on the mental barriers but it has a very specific goal: to open space for the heart. yellow girl thought she was going deep by talking complex, but in the end it's just mental noise. just like @Michael569, i didn't sense a single word imbued with spirit.

but i'm not made out of stone. i am learning from this. not everyone has chosen to learn from zen

But your swinging around a zen Keisaku without even saying hello or developing an understanding of their ego.  Your also making the assumption again that she was coming from a place of superiority (again could be right, but she seemed anything but to me).  Based upon this you just swooshed zen around like a ogre trying to hit a hobbit, lol.  Sorry man, but keep the sword sheathed for a little bit and just chill with the person and pleasantly and generally help them, let the warm up to you, gain some trust, we are all nobodies at first to eachother, I'm learning this bit by bit as well.  Honestly if anything she seemed more genuine and honest with where she was at and what was going on then I'd say 90% of this forum.  She'll be fine, but her experience here definitely could of been more welcoming.

Edited May 14, 2019 by Mu_