The story of hope.

[seeking_brilliance]

I know that the following is probably full of word salad and spiritual bypassing, but I think it's fruitful to share a slice of the journey, in  case anyone can be benefited and learn better by my mistakes....

 

I recently received treatment of bone infection in one of my fingers. Seven weeks of intravenous antibiotics, while still working part time.  There is no guarantee that the treatment worked, and we literally have to sit and wait to see if it gets infected again. 

There is a bump there now on the back of my finger, which may or may not go away.  Sometimes I think about that I hope it's not part of the story for it to need to be amputated. I tell myself that I will accept it nonetheless, whatever happens.

I can tell you what's part of the story, and that's the hope for a particular outcome of the story. In this example, the hope that seeking_brilliance doesn't have to go through that experience. Out of love and respect for that particular character.  Even if he's a figment of imagination, there's an attachment to this character.  I have an imaginary friend, so to speak. I have a few of them... 

And I think about, well, who is this I, that is attached to seeking_brilliance, or its husband, or its friends and family? Absolutely, there is no-thing, so there can be no 'I' to have friends. There can be no I, when there are no others to compare to. However, in our limited language, the closest thing to saying ALL is 'me'  (or I).  (other than saying no-thing) 

I can say, well, seeking _brilliance IS 'me', so whether it is apart of the story to hope for particular outcomes to the story, or if there were truly some-one to wish for things, it is all the same: Seeking_brilliance wanting a different outcome.......the story of seeking_brilliance wanting a different outcome.........the story of that being a story..........the story of this observance of there being this story of a seeking _brilliance who wishes for a different outcome of the story. 

It's all one and the same.  There doesn't need to be a thing or a someone to hope and wish on seeking_brilliance's behalf. It's all blended together. It just happens. Down to the smallest particle, and up to the largest body. It's a Symphony.  One everlasting movement. Absolutely Perfect. 

Edited May 14, 2019 by seeking_brilliance

[seeking_brilliance]

1 day bump

[ivankiss]

Don't bug yourself too much with who or what is and isn't. It is unnecessary. Do those kinds of investigations and inquiries once you recover fully and feel stable. It is irrelevant right now; from what I am perceiving.

I realize this might be hard for you to do, as you are seeking brilliance, after all haha. But srsly, just drop it for now.

Attached or detached, who cares? No one.

What you need now is self-care and self-love. Rest. Comfort. Nurturing. At least your body seems to be giving you those signs. Listen to it.

Forget about nothing and nobody. Recover. Avoid over thinking and being trapped in the mind. Walk, or whatever. Also take it easy at your job.

My advice. Take or leave.

I hope everything turns out good for ya!

[DrewNows]

Yes the mind looks out for itself. Glad to see you’re bringing awareness to this...appreciate this share ?

hope is fear and it’s all you. None of it is right or wrong, good or bad, but it is self perpetuating when identified, labeled, and judged 

the shift in focus can be very powerful in creating new outlooks however it’s all still part of that massive story of you

a complete illusion within your control as the infinite 

Edited May 14, 2019 by DrewNows

[Heviin]

On 5/13/2019 at 5:01 AM, seeking_brilliance said:

It's all one and the same.  There doesn't need to be a thing or a someone to hope and wish on seeking_brilliance's behalf. It's all blended together. It just happens. Down to the smallest particle, and up to the largest body. It's a Symphony.  One everlasting movement. Absolutely Perfect. 

Indeed! But, as a student of compassion, I still feel compelled to send you my best wishes for a speedy recovery.  

[seeking_brilliance]

2 hours ago, ivankiss said:

Don't bug yourself too much with who or what is and isn't. It is unnecessary. Do those kinds of investigations and inquiries once you recover fully and feel stable. It is irrelevant right now; from what I am perceiving.

I realize this might be hard for you to do, as you are seeking brilliance, after all haha. But srsly, just drop it for now.

Attached or detached, who cares? No one.

What you need now is self-care and self-love. Rest. Comfort. Nurturing. At least your body seems to be giving you those signs. Listen to it.

Forget about nothing and nobody. Recover. Avoid over thinking and being trapped in the mind. Walk, or whatever. Also take it easy at your job.

My advice. Take or leave.

I hope everything turns out good for ya!

Thanks for the advice. I definitely agree.  Unfortunately I've been nursing my pot addiction a bit heavy lately, and that's mainly when all the overthinking and word salad vomits out of my mouth (or technically my fingers ??)  but it feels good to share when it arises.  Thankfully I'm not this neurotic all day every day. 

I have been definitely taking it easy and nurturing myself. That's great advice, thanks.  I know my next path is meditation. We'll see what happens.... ?.  I've come to a strong awareness of how much I'm avoiding reality.  Constantly distracting myself and then complaining that I'm too distracted for meditation. Go figure.... 

[seeking_brilliance]

2 hours ago, DrewNows said:

Yes the mind looks out for itself. Glad to see you’re bringing awareness to this...appreciate this share ?

hope is fear and it’s all you. None of it is right or wrong, good or bad, but it is self perpetuating when identified, labeled, and judged 

the shift in focus can be very powerful in creating new outlooks however it’s all still part of that massive story of you

a complete illusion within your control as the infinite 

Thank you ?

[Truth Addict]

@seeking_brilliance

What you wrote is very beautiful 

Here's my 2 cents:

If you want to be happy, drop all your wants; desires, expectations, control, wishes.

And lastly, drop the desire to not have a desire.

❤️

[seeking_brilliance]

@Truth Addict

Thank you ❤️ that's my main goal, although eventually it must be dropped: is to live unconditionally. I want to be an unconditionalist. ?

11 hours ago, Heviin said:

Indeed! But, as a student of compassion, I still feel compelled to send you my best wishes for a speedy recovery.  

Thank you so much

Edited May 15, 2019 by seeking_brilliance