urge to be depressed after awakening to GREEN

[Mezanti]

i think i'm transitioning into green..

i recently started writing this beautiful song and as i was coming up with the lyrical part of it, i found myself falling in love. not with the song per se, but with the concept that i could connect with something larger than me through this song, it was like a bridging between me and into my imagination. I really felt content.

i found myself later that day questioning  what i was doing in life, and i started to feel disgusted with the idea of pursuing anything materialistic : going to college, finishing high school, working on my business, getting my drivers license...

i have this urge to want to explore new ways of living life and connecting with people that share this state of mind.

but i also am feeling down, its like im losing a part of myself, that i had been envisioning for years, and never got to accomplish. 

im confused as to what the best course of actions best suite this situation.

i'd love to hear your thoughts.

and again, when i say love now, i feel it in my chest and it makes me wanna cry. i was never this girly, but yeah.

Edited May 12, 2019 by Mezanti

[Hellspeed]

Balance it with red.

[Mezanti]

@Hellspeed this is exactly what i was thinking, how would you suppose i do that?

[ThinAir]

@Mezanti

Ok here's my point of view.

Sounds like a beautiful change in your perception happened. Embrace it, you have the chance to explore life on a much deeper and fuller level than before. Go fully into it, explore it, don't fight it.

Understandable your ego wants to hold on to this unfinished "stage orange" projects. Your values change but it doesn't mean you have to give them up completely. They can still be valuable to peruse, they're just gone be lower in your value hierarchy. Eventually you gonna cut them out or not, but give yourself time to understand your new predicament, don't jump to conclusions too fast

[CreamCat]

Right now, the status of your personal development is a swiss cheese with holes from Beige to Green. You want to plug holes in tier 1 until you don't complain about mundane things.

By the way, you might want to reconsider going to college. Depending on your life purpose, college could be a waste of time.

Edited May 13, 2019 by CreamCat

[now is forever]

@CreamCat a swiss cheese is yellow... she’ll need some time to get there.

(even though it’s a nice metaphor)

@Mezanti you can go to college in a very green way! ever thought about living in a shared apartment and going to a very green college, where you can meet a lot of green people? college could be your ticket into green (you could even think about studying abroad for one semester)

Edited May 13, 2019 by now is forever

[CreamCat]

1 minute ago, now is forever said:

@CreamCat a swiss cheese is yellow... she’ll need some time to get there.

(even though it’s a nice metaphor)

you can go to college in a very green way! ever thought about living in a shared apartment and going to a very green college, where you can meet a lot of green people?

Let me remind you that a Green college is still an expensive college.

[now is forever]

5 minutes ago, CreamCat said:

Let me remind you that a Green college is still an expensive college.

yes but she didn’t say she doesn’t have the money... and well she could study abroad, somewhere where it’s not so much expensive. (but why learning another language for that, preposterous)

also she is a he from the netherlands  this country is so orange, hahaha.

Edited May 13, 2019 by now is forever

[Mezanti]

@now is forever netherlands is green governmentally, but most are orange yeah, i agree with your idea about college 

[now is forever]

@Mezanti there’s nothing more oranje than oranje  choose a nice college in a nice green city.

Edited May 13, 2019 by now is forever