Took 2 tabs of LSD & i started Screaming that i want to have sex with my Sister

[SFRL]

5 minutes ago, Joker_Theory said:

no I am living inside myself/God/spirit as a diluted being trying to brake free and stop listening to others that judge others for stupid issues

Sounds great to me. I am all for it. 

You just won't find me shitting myself in a carton box. 

[SFRL]

3 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

@SFRL

Personally my father is never at home.

& my mom works most of the day. She takes care of myself & doesn't want to be alone at home.

There is no reason to torture myself just yet. You have your own standards & i respect that but not everyone can be like you.

Yeah that's what she wants. What do you want? I don't think that's what you want. I think the decision has been made for you. 

[Shadowraix]

@SQAAD The main point is when you want privacy or intimacy or even just want to do drugs in your own home, living with parents can make that hard or uncomfortable.

Trip around people you know you can trust if shit hits the fan.

8 minutes ago, Joker_Theory said:

stop listening to others that judge others

 

10 minutes ago, Joker_Theory said:

laid is what diluted morons

Funny how those who talk about not caring about judgment go around and throw judgments.

 

[Joker_Theory]

2 minutes ago, SFRL said:

The Matrix is the most overrated movie if all time. 

"What if all this us just not real?" Yeah what about it? I realized all that when I was 10 years old playing Sonic The Hedgehog on my 16 bit Sega. I was like: "Mmm what if all this is not real. What if all this is just a video game and I am just living a storyline". 

Like seriously people needed that movie to realize that? Like you can't come up with that yourself? 

It's not that profound. 

I am talking about what some teachers call the matrix, ego based people driving by power and controlling others and telling others how to live not that it's not real even though it isn't but not saying that. The movie might be based on that too.

[Joker_Theory]

Just now, Shadowraix said:

@SQAAD The main point is when you want privacy or intimacy or even just want to do drugs in your own home, living with parents can make that hard or uncomfortable.

Trip around people you know you can trust if shit hits the fan.

 

Funny how those who talk about not caring about judgment go around and throw judgments.

 

funny how your doing the same

Ok, i see what is going on my ego is projecting stuff so i realize it but could not help myself, sorry

[SQAAD]

@Shadowraix

6 minutes ago, Shadowraix said:

@SQAAD The main point is when you want privacy or intimacy or even just want to do drugs in your own home, living with parents can make that hard or uncomfortable.

 

 

 

Only once i had this problem (privacy about drugs etc). Nobody bothers me in my room.

Edited May 11, 2019 by SQAAD

[Shadowraix]

9 minutes ago, Joker_Theory said:

funny how your doing the same

Ok, i see what is going on my ego is projecting stuff so i realize it but could not help myself, sorry

Is pointing that out a judgment? The goal was to not form any conclusion about you. Just identify something that might not align with your goals.

8 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

Only once i had this problem (privacy about drugs etc).

Well just be careful. 

On the whole 'fuck your sister' thing its a hard call without knowing some idea of where you were mentally during the trip. You might not have even really registered it was your sister. If she is attractive to you there might be some primal urges you are repressing.

Edited May 11, 2019 by Shadowraix

[SQAAD]

@Shadowraix

6 minutes ago, Shadowraix said:

 

On the whole 'fuck your sister' thing its a hard call without knowing some idea of where you were mentally during the trip. You might not have even really registered it was your sister. 

Maybe that's it . I don't know .

I remember having crazy "delusions" while tripping.

Edited May 11, 2019 by SQAAD

[SQAAD]

@now is forever

2 hours ago, now is forever said:

  also, just because you hallucinate something doesn’t mean it’s true

I totally agree with you. Nor did i say the hallucinations were true (in case you imply that),

[Joker_Theory]

Okay no more ego games here. WHY SO SERIOUS???

[Rilles]

this whole thread reminds me of this

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/tooktoomuch/comments/b7p17m/mom_walks_in_on_kid_tripping_on_salvia/

[Shadowraix]

@Rilles idk how that guy can do that. One hit of 20x warped my perception hard.

[Rilles]

3 minutes ago, Shadowraix said:

@Rilles idk how that guy can do that. One hit of 20x warped my perception hard.

hes a shaman obviously, a sage for the ages

[Gabriel Antonio]

Dude, don't take psychedelics... Seriously, there are MANY alternatives to healing... Psychedelics are NOT for everyone (myself included). 

[Zigzag Idiot]

3 hours ago, SQAAD said:

FIRST OF ALL THIS IS A SERIOUS POST REGARDING A PERSONAL ISSUE OF MINE & I WOULD LIKE ONLY A SERIOUS EXPLANATION/REPLY.

One year ago i took 2 tabs of LSD late at night. I had the most epic crazy trip of my life. I literally became infinite & began screaming like a maniac. I woke up my  entire family & all the neighbors until later on they called the police/ambulance. I don't remember much of the trip.

That trip traumatized me though because for some reason i began screaming  to my sister that i want to have sex with her (she is 2 years younger than me). I felt terrible shame aftewards & that shame still hasn't gone completely & my sister to this day hasn't forgotten me.

It was so traumatizing that the next day after i woke up i denied that this even happened. I was saying to myself "no no this didn't happen, it was a dream"

Until i had a second trip (this time with shrooms) & the repressed memory alongisde with terrible shame came to the surface and i had to deal with it while crying.

All i want is to Understand/Comprehend Why did i do this. Consciously i don't have any sexual desire for my sister nor do i fantasize about having sex with her. Is it possible that i have sexual feeling for her in a Subsconscious level that i am not aware of it yet?

-Thanks.

 

You were somebody else on those two tabs. Like the snickers commercials in a way,,,,

I'm speaking from being a former out of control drunk.

Shame can cripple people for half a lifetime. You have wisdom in being focused on healing that shame and the hurt relationship with with your sister instead of repressing and denial. Forgive yourself if you haven't already. It will work out.

It simply wasn't you that said that so you don't have to identify with that. The same way with a lot of thoughts that are negative or shameful. Often they just show up without you creating them. These kind of thoughts are trouble if we begin to identify with them and think we are responsible for random thoughts. They can just be let go of. Shadow work is tough but the seeming miraculous can happen over time if you're sincere.

Its also smart of you money-wise to live at home and not throw away money and effort until you have a solid strategy for what you want. 

 

[SQAAD]

@Zigzag Idiot

12 minutes ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

 

You were somebody else on those two tabs. Like the snickers commercials in a way,,,,

I'm speaking from being a former out of control drunk.

Shame can cripple people for half a lifetime. You have wisdom in being focused on healing that shame and the hurt relationship with with your sister instead of repressing and denial. Forgive yourself if you haven't already. It will work out.

It simply wasn't you that said that so you don't have to identify with that. The same way with a lot of thoughts that are negative or shameful. Often they just show up without you creating them. These kind of thoughts are trouble if we begin to identify with them and think we are responsible for random thoughts. They can just be let go of. Shadow work is tough but the seeming miraculous can happen over time if you're sincere.

Its also smart of you money-wise to live at home and not throw away money and effort until you have a solid strategy for what you want. 

 

Thanks man! 

Finally someone reads my whole post & replies with compassion and understanding.

Edited May 11, 2019 by SQAAD

[Salvijus]

Truth is painful. 

[John Iverson]

9 hours ago, SQAAD said:

@John Iverson

I have dealt with it. Maybe not enough though.

I just want to understand why did i do it. I have accepted it now. But i am curious.

You said until now you are like that to her?, if that is so you really dealt with it.. it is hard but if you are aboe to dealt it i will give you my congrats! But the fact that you did't really know why you did that is because you are not really going inner self work? Do inner self work, retrospect, contemplate, take mushroom psilocybin mushroom, or LSD, the issue is inside in your self we do not really know what is really going on inside you fully..  this is my say here.. i hope someone will understand your situation to the point they will say something you want to hear..

[Elisabeth]

 

 

 

 

 

4

17 hours ago, SQAAD said:

Is it possible that i have sexual feeling for her in a Subsconscious level that i am not aware of it yet?

People have THE WEIRDEST of fantasies when it comes to sex. 

Remember all those kinksters, cross-dressers, erotica&porn writers (and the stuff they produce), all the real incest happening & (as mentioned before) Freud.

Pretty much everything is within the norm when it comes to human sexuality. It's so wast, it's scary. 

Some spiritual paths will also equate your sex drive with your life energy. If that's the case, you could feel sexual towards a tree, your blanket or the whole universe in a state of altered consciousness / higher energy. 

Why not your sister? 

When we're living with a person of another gender, it's easy to develop intimacy, including sexual. Luckily, nature has also instilled mechanisms in us that protect us against falling in love an impregnating our siblings, parents, children. Incest within families is a failure of these. I believe yours are working just fine. Maybe the veil was just lifted for a moment and you saw your sister as the beautiful young woman she is. 

Also, was she even your sister during your trip? Or did the real her take shape of someone else in your imagination back then? Or is there no real boundary?

So, accept your sexuality as a force that isn't always in line with your highest self. Grant your penis some autonomy so to say. You don't have to act on all it says, but let it do its thing. 

With your sister, accept she's a woman. If you feel that reassuring her that you didn't mean it could make things better, you could do it. We don't know how old or mature she is. 

And don't trip at home. You need a safe space. 

[SQAAD]

@John Iverson

9 hours ago, John Iverson said:

You said until now you are like that to her?, if that is so you really dealt with it.. it is hard but if you are aboe to dealt it i will give you my congrats! But the fact that you did't really know why you did that is because you are not really going inner self work? Do inner self work, retrospect, contemplate, take mushroom psilocybin mushroom, or LSD, the issue is inside in your self we do not really know what is really going on inside you fully..  this is my say here.. i hope someone will understand your situation to the point they will say something you want to hear..

I have done quite a lot of contemplation & i can't find the part of me that would want to have sex with my sister. I guess i have to dig deeper. Also i have accepted/dealt with what happened.