How To Balance Relationship And Study In High School

[Rob]

Hi people 

My name is Rob and I've been dealing with some small issues lately. 

I started my self actualization journey last  year in May and I achieved a lot during those period. I became an ace studier at school and did well on all my subjects, also I detached myself from social media, videos games and TVs and dedicated all my freetime towards mastering myself. 

About a month ago I liked a girl in my school and started approaching her and chatting her up. The process was fairly successful because I'm a pretty confident and alpha guy with a lot of talents and an ambitious goal. But sooner or later I found myself constantly thinking about her while I'm doing my homework or reading a book and what's even worse is that I became a bit detached from my big goals.

I hated that feeling, but it's hard to resist that feeling of romance. So right now I'm really trying hard to pull myself out of that state.  

So how should I gain more balanced between relationship and my self actualization journey? 

Thanks 

Rob

Edited April 24, 2016 by Rob

[charlie2dogs]

8 minutes ago, Rob said:

Hi people 

My name is Rob and I've been dealing with some small issues lately. 

I started my self actualization journey last  year in May and I achieved a lot during those period. I became an ace studier at school and did well on all my subjects, also I detached myself from social media, videos games and TVs and dedicated all my freetime towards mastering myself. 

About a month ago I liked a girl in my school and started approaching her and chatting her up. The process was fairly successful because I'm a pretty confident and alpha guy with a lot of talents and an ambitious goal. But sooner or later I found myself constantly thinking about her while I'm doing my homework or reading a book and what's even worse is that I became a bit detached from my big goals.

I hated that feeling, but it's hard to resist that feeling of romance. So right now I'm really trying hard to pull myself out of that state.  

So how should I gain more balanced between relationship and my self actualization journey? 

Thanks 

Ron

seems the desires of the identity has captured your attention

[Rob]

42 minutes ago, charlie2dogs said:

seems the desires of the identity has captured your attention

Yeah...... I really need to find a balance, but how? 

[Armand]

@Rob  Seems like your diverting your attention away from your studies. Success is essential to meet our needs for income. 

Romance is something you think about after your studies/homework/required tasks your teachers ask of you. Those things can alter your overall success in life. Try training your mind to strictly think about working hard to make yourself a huge success, and then reward yourself after with thoughts of being with her, seeing her, dating her, etc.  

[Rob]

2 hours ago, Holdup said:

@Rob  Seems like your diverting your attention away from your studies. Success is essential to meet our needs for income. 

Romance is something you think about after your studies/homework/required tasks your teachers ask of you. Those things can alter your overall success in life. Try training your mind to strictly think about working hard to make yourself a huge success, and then reward yourself after with thoughts of being with her, seeing her, dating her, etc.  

Thanks for the advice!@Holdup

[MIARIVEL]

@Rob Hi Rob, I actually work full time, run a side business, try to have somewhat of a social life & still manage to see my partner when I can. I learnt the hard way how to manage my distractions & it wasn't easy. Especially since young love and having fun is important for our growth and happiness. However, I would suggest doing a schedule, make time where you strictly focus of study for one hour (turn off the phone & any other distractions within this hour), next you can set aside a half hour phone call to your girl friend or acouple of hours to spend time with her. Whatever you choose to do in your scheduled time just make sure you are in that moment & that's where your focus is. If you train yourself to manage your time, your thoughts, you will find that you will be able to focus a lot more. You will still have time for fun and study creating a balance. Don't allow distractions to come in the way of what is important for you and your future. Hope this helped. 

[Rob]

@MIA.RIVEL Thanks for the advice! Much appreciated. 

[charlie2dogs]

2 hours ago, MIA.RIVEL said:

@Rob Hi Rob, I actually work full time, run a side business, try to have somewhat of a social life & still manage to see my partner when I can. I learnt the hard way how to manage my distractions & it wasn't easy. Especially since young love and having fun is important for our growth and happiness. However, I would suggest doing a schedule, make time where you strictly focus of study for one hour (turn off the phone & any other distractions within this hour), next you can set aside a half hour phone call to your girl friend or acouple of hours to spend time with her. Whatever you choose to do in your scheduled time just make sure you are in that moment & that's where your focus is. If you train yourself to manage your time, your thoughts, you will find that you will be able to focus a lot more. You will still have time for fun and study creating a balance. Don't allow distractions to come in the way of what is important for you and your future. Hope this helped. 

this is very good advice for any young person or even an older person.

[charlie2dogs]

8 hours ago, Rob said:

Yeah...... I really need to find a balance, but how? 

there is a huge misconception about relationships.  Most who enter a relationship are not ready for one.  Most do not have the necessary tools to take to the relationship to make it work.  So what we have is two people out of their own loneliness coming together to make a play called love.

When love isnt taken to the relationship, it has failed already its just a matter of when.

What is love? is it just some emotional feeling? I submit that Love is a state of being, and that state of being is not possessed by the identity and its ego when functioning in an unconscious manner in life.  Most humans beings dont qualify for a relationship.   Most people think love is some emotional act that you perform to show that you love.

Love is not an act performed, it is a state of being, that requires some degree of self realization.  It is only possible to be love when you function as a being of consciousness in an conscious, present state of awareness.  The identity will never achieve that, it will only continue to create more failed relationships. 

And when you experience the realness of your own being you no longer have this feeling of loneliness that drives you to these relationships.  You actually discover that love is not something that you need, and that means you wont be acting out of a place of loneliness or desperation but rather from a place of choice.  Most will say that everyone needs love, that is not true, it is only a thought that comes from the identity because of the desires of the flesh, a self realized being does not need to be loved, because they are love.

[charlie2dogs]

8 hours ago, Rob said:

Yeah...... I really need to find a balance, but how? 

the short answer is, discover the real you, the rest will take care of itself

[Rob]

@charlie2dogs That's a perfect description of love! Thank you! True love comes from a non-needy state of being.