anxiety during self inquiry

[theking00]

when i do self inquiry i feel anxious. is this normal?  Leo said that I dont exit, 

Edited May 11, 2019 by theking00

[ivory]

Yeah, I used to get that too. Whenever you encounter something new in meditation you are likely to experience a little fear. Or a lot of fear. Totally normal. Keep going, it will die down after you see that nothing can really harm you.

[ValiantSalvatore]

@theking00 You can test techniques in case you are open and still testing. Otherwise, if you like self-inquiry you could buy a book or watch the neti-neti video from Leo in case it is that. I only tested self-inquiry for two or 1 and a half months. It was too much in the current situation and I switched techniques. 

Yet, it was extremely powerful. I was stuck in analysis constantly. How long do you do self-inquiry? I did it for an hour and the meditation sessions themselves where quite pleasant. Yet, I tried to maintain it daily, which just hindered a clear thought process.

Edited May 11, 2019 by ValiantSalvatore

[who chit]

I would suggest a meditation or pranayama technique, or mix of the two, to calm the mind and nervous system before self inquiry. A calm,quiet mind and relaxed nervous system is conducive for contemplative exercises like self inquiry. Not many individuals have a naturally gifted inner condition to take on self inquiry straight away. Ramana stated many times an individual has to be "ripe" (i.e.,have the right inner conditions or spiritual maturity) before taking on self inquiry and often recommended "support" techniques such as the above. Even for spiritual initiates (monks,sannyasins etc.)  It is rare that self inquiry is given as a stand alone sadhana (practice).
It is aptly stated in these quotes:
"Of the four, jnana yoga, from the point of view of the beginner, is the most difficult.  Jnana yoga is the graduate school of self-discovery.
"Of the four major paths to self-realization, this yoga is the most difficult. It is "the path of Samadhi".

Samadhi, in a general sense, is deep inner stillness and silence. It is absorption in the Self or pure awareness without objects. And that condition takes a while to develop.

Edited May 11, 2019 by who chit

[Preetom]

@theking00

Totally normal. You'll have all sorts discomforting reactions and experiences ranging from mild to full blown panic attacks for 1-2 years(if you are serious and consistent) or 5-10 years(if you dabble and give in to ego backlash more often).

You'll keep having them until...one day you get used to them and literally stop giving fuck about these emotional defense mechanisms while you stay focused on the Self/nothingness 

By doing self inquiry, you are waking up from the dream of the separate egoic self. Now even though that motherfucker is really insentient and at one point you might wonder how could you be so deluded to ever identify with this dead, robotic object in the first place; nevertheless ego will try its best to  distract you from self inquiry until the momentum of its stored energy runs out.

All the best

 

Edited May 11, 2019 by Preetom

[theking00]

 

22 hours ago, Preetom said:

@theking00

Totally normal. You'll have all sorts discomforting reactions and experiences ranging from mild to full blown panic attacks for 1-2 years(if you are serious and consistent) or 5-10 years(if you dabble and give in to ego backlash more often).

You'll keep having them until...one day you get used to them and literally stop giving fuck about these emotional defense mechanisms while you stay focused on the Self/nothingness 

By doing self inquiry, you are waking up from the dream of the separate egoic self. Now even though that motherfucker is really insentient and at one point you might wonder how could you be so deluded to ever identify with this dead, robotic object in the first place; nevertheless ego will try its best to  distract you from self inquiry until the momentum of its stored energy runs out.

All the best

 

is it true that i never exited? 

[Preetom]

1 hour ago, theking00 said:

 

is it true that i never exited? 

You'll have the most clear revelation to that question through self inquiry. This is why you are doing self inquiry in the first place. Stop asking me or leo or anyone that question!

About you never existing, it is only used a shock factor to make you genuinely curious about discovering what you are. It is true that what you've ever thought or taken yourself to be never existed(not in the way you thought it did. Like a person. See if you can ever pinpoint this person called theking00).

But yet, 'You' are still here. You are doing the inquiry. Or who else is doing that? That which upon the entirety of your experience depends upon, that 'You' exists.

Through self inquiry you're job is to get the utmost clarity about this true Self that exists while seeing through the illusion of false self aka ego aka a bunch of thoughts, tendencies, feeling and beliefs blindly taken as 'me'; taken as ''theking00'' because it feels convincing or whatever.

Edited May 12, 2019 by Preetom

[Shin]

 

Do you realize what you're doing when you do self-inquiry ?

Edited May 12, 2019 by Shin

[Preetom]

4 minutes ago, Shin said:

 

Do you realize what you're doing when you do self-inquiry ?

uh oh.. 

 

[Shin]

21 minutes ago, Preetom said:

uh oh.. 

 

That's a real question not an attack.

[Preetom]

1 hour ago, Shin said:

That's a real question not an attack.

I mean... it's such a hornet's nest. The amount of delusion, backsliding, studying, discussing, practicing it took just to understand what this technique is really trying to do and its significance and why it is the way it is..it's just unbelievable. It sort of feels like bruising ones limbs for few years before learning to walk and run.

theking00 is probably very new to this. It should be obvious that he will be oblivious about the 10th or 18th iteration when he is just mapping out the first few. 

So let him who feels the need to seek and do, seek and do 

Edited May 12, 2019 by Preetom

[theking00]

@Shin self inquiry = ego death  

[Shin]

3 minutes ago, theking00 said:

@Shin self inquiry = ego death  

Don't say ego death.

To you it's literally death.

Not a part of you, literally your own death.

[Preetom]

1 hour ago, Shin said:

Don't say ego death.

To you it's literally death.

Not a part of you, literally your own death.

okay enough scary stories for tonight!

*peeling back the layers of onion with hopes of finding a solid center* 

Edited May 12, 2019 by Preetom

[theking00]

23 hours ago, Shin said:

Don't say ego death.

To you it's literally death.

Not a part of you, literally your own death.

So what happens after enlightenment ?

[Shin]

1 minute ago, theking00 said:

So what happens after enlightenment ?

Ask enlightened people.

[Zigzag Idiot]

3 minutes ago, theking00 said:

So what happens after enlightenment ?

 

1 minute ago, Shin said:

Ask enlightened people.

I visit there sometimes.

Nisargadatta describes it well - "Nothing is wrong anymore".

[Inliytened1]

@theking00 what do you think the source of the anxiety is stemming from?

Find that and you can fix this.

Is it because your ego is afraid of what it might find based on you are already knowing what enlightenment is conceptually?

That might be it.  Or is it doubt of the whole process?  Meaning you are already identified with, let's say the body, and you can't seem to get past that.

[Shin]

19 hours ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

 

I visit there sometimes.

Nisargadatta describes it well - "Nothing is wrong anymore".

Give me your number.

Next time you visit there I'll ask you for a «little» loan

?