Wanting to be understood

[Identity]

For a while now I've been feeling an increasing desire to be understood. As I grow, I can share less and less of my experiences and insights with the people around me. I especially feel the urge to find a girl who understands me and with whom I can share stuff.

I wonder whether this urge is something healthy which I should pursue, or if it is just a baby blanket I am reaching for.

I remember having similar urges a year ago. Then, when I faced my loneliness these urges subsided.

Then again, I'm 23 and have never been in a committed relationship, maybe it's a healthy step. But is being driven by this need to be understood a healthy place to come from, or is it a crutch to fulfill my loneliness?

 

[zeroISinfinity]

Face your loneliness, love it accept it allow it. If girl comes do the same. ❤️

[ivory]

You have to be honest whether or not its to mask your loneliness. How happy you are with your life as it is? Will your partner compliment your life or are they just filling a hole? I'm a huge proponent of dating and relationships. There is so much to learn and grow from relationship. However, you need to be ok on your own and be quite grounded to have a successful relationship. That all said, you are quite young. Feel free to experiment and make mistakes. You'll learn from that as well. At 23 there is something to be said for getting more life experience.

[Nahm]

@Identity 

You can not be described, you are transcendent of thought & language. Like a painting can not understand the painter, though it is the same essence. If the painting were a brain, it’d claim the understanding as it’s own, at the jeopardy of discovering what paint really is.  The thought category of  “I am the one who understands”...”I am the one who can be understood”, is mistaking a thought about understanding for what the actuality of understanding is (you). Similar to how conceptual, conditional or contingent love, is mistaken for the actuality of Love. (“Cosmic Love, Infinite Love, God’s Love, Reality, The Truth, The Self, etc”) 

So maybe it’s not that you desire to be understood. Maybe it’s that you desire to more deeply know the one who is the understanding itself. To express, create, articulate your unique distinctions, to “empty your cup”, or make space.  

Loneliness is a matter of psychology. Psychology is a matter of deviation from the actuality. So be aware of inattentions, of what you don’t like, don’t prefer, what you ‘hold separate’. When and what you “go unconscious” with. Contemplate why you hold it separate, why you don’t like it, when that preference started. They’re learned thought patterns, hiding in the dark. 

Then of course, like magic, you’ll bump into your new girlfriend who really gets you. 

[Identity]

@zeroISinfinity Thank you, I am going to do a trip tomorrow. Facing my loneliness will be my main purpose 

@ivory Yeah, exactly. That's the thing I'm not really sure about. But my life is going really well and it just seems to go better at an increasing rate. . I cry on a regular basis about just how beautiful my life is. That being said its also quite though at the same time. I've worked a lot on self-acceptance. Now I feel like I just want to hug someone and never let go.

@Nahm Pfff, man, that's so ridiculously wise once again. I'm working on that and going deeper and deeper... but it's just so fucking much. It's so fucking total. It's so much so fast it got me squirming on the floor saying ffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkk. I know in theory "I" am all alone, and at moments I can grasp that... But in my daily stuff I don't. I don't think I can let the light in any faster then I am doing now 

[Nahm]

@Identity ??

[David Hammond]

13 hours ago, Identity said:

For a while now I've been feeling an increasing desire to be understood. As I grow, I can share less and less of my experiences and insights with the people around me. I especially feel the urge to find a girl who understands me and with whom I can share stuff.

I wonder whether this urge is something healthy which I should pursue, or if it is just a baby blanket I am reaching for.

I remember having similar urges a year ago. Then, when I faced my loneliness these urges subsided.

Then again, I'm 23 and have never been in a committed relationship, maybe it's a healthy step. But is being driven by this need to be understood a healthy place to come from, or is it a crutch to fulfill my loneliness?

 

Go for it. You ought to be able to take action on doing what you need to do for a guy your age. Enlightenment comes after you have done and seen it all. Then you will know that it's all passing one phenomena. But you had a good time and learned something. That's important, to learn something from your experiences. You came here to have experiences did you not? That's why you manifested into the configuration that you are now- a person, with drives and urges, in a world of "other people" who are also looking for the same thing. At least let God complete his universal purpose through your apparent seperate body. That's why you are here. It's cannot be any other way.

[LastThursday]

@Identity if you really want to grow, then you have to be a fearless explorer and you have to keep on learning and observing. Explore loneliness, explore a committed relationship, explore your urges. They are not incompatible.  At 23, time is your friend. You have time to do it all. Do it with an open mind and don't get lost for too long in one thing or another.