How do I get rid of “unhealthy manifestations” of Spiral Dynamics stage Yellow?

[7thLetter]

While I don’t like to talk about where I stand on the spiral, this issue seems like it has a bit of an impact on my life.

And by “unhealthy manifestations”, that is a term they use on the website http://spiraldynamicsintegral.nl/en/yellow/

I truly believe I have a good amount of Yellow in me, but I think I lean more towards the unhealthy side of Yellow. I uploaded a photo below of the description of Yellow’s unhealthy manifestations, and reading that it describes me so well. I tend to be very cold and distant at times in public and at my previous workplaces, and people take that personally. They think I hate everyone. And I also tend to be very critical of certain things or people and their level of development. Plus I dropped all of the previous friends that I had so I can live with no social obligations. All of which are not really healthy for me, and it isn’t easy to control.

This behavior has affected me for a while, and personally I think I lost my recent job because of this. Recently I complained about my supervisor to the owner of the company I was working for. My supervisor was a bossy narcissist and I harshly criticized her in front of the owner. I told the owner she did this and that and her behavior is like this, etc. And that completely backfired, and then I was fired a week later. And while the owner was firing me he also mentioned I was very cold and I never talk to anyone at work.

How do I “cure” this behavior?

 

Edited May 9, 2019 by 7thLetter

[bejapuskas]

Hey dude, I struggled with this same problem too in the past. Fortunately, I have many friends who have healthy manifestations of the higher colours and they helped me solve it. I will try to divide this into points of possible... I dont know if this is going to work for you, but I hope I can help  

At the time, I was also very much concerned with the development of the people around me and I only wanted to hang around with tier 2 people. I also used to preach spiral dynamics to people who seemed to be interested. (they actually were not, but my mind was projecting things)

One of the many advices was to stop building these castles in the sky, stop thinking about things so much, clean up my information intake, ignore confused people, rather than coming up with theories that I created from my observations every single day, watching all sorts of wierd youtube videos and talking to selfish people... I had to let go of this stuff.

This other thing that I learned was to stop trying to fix the lower tier people. Stop thinking, that they are interested in your complex problems and contemplations, stop assuming, that they want to grow without ever having to suffer, stop pretending that you are so interesting. I don't know if this is your problem, but be open to the possibility, that there is some reason for this mainstream, it is not all that corrupt, there are many things that you can learn from ordinary people, sometimes they can spot some bullshit that you are unable to find. Seriously, don't disrespect them.

I also learnt, that the thing that Leo says about yellow, that it is a lone wolf, doesnt really apply to me. I enjoy laughing with friends, having meaningful conversations, setting up all sorts of meetings and going after growth opportunities, which are associated with people. Try talking to the chefs at the restaurants you go to, try being warm towards people right of the bat when you meet them, it really helps. Don't make this „enthusiasm“ into an excuse to not talk to people, that is not healthy in many cases. I don't really know you, but I actually didn't have any of this enthusiasm, when I was basically lonely.

Question your teachers, dont take all the things they say for granted, think for yourself, become more feminine, flowing and authentic. Discipline yourself, be consistent in the work. Be radically honest to yourself about the real work that you are doing and about its results, without that you cannot move forward. Observe everything, try to learn from it, stop seeing imperfection in other things, but rather in yourself.

Huh, this is getting kind of long, I hope I've helped you at least with some things...

[Forestluv]

Imo, the there is an over-emphasis on the cognitive line of development and an under-emphasis on creative, empathic, emotional and intuitive lines of development. To me, most of the angst here is at a tier 1 personal level. At green, there is an emphasis on non-cognitive lines of development, which don’t appear to have been embodied. And the transition to tier2 is an enormous jump in consciousness in which attachment/identification to personalities is greatly reduced.  

[bejapuskas]

1 minute ago, Serotoninluv said:

Imo, the there is an over-emphasis on the cognitive line of development and an under-emphasis on creative, empathic, emotional and intuitive lines of development. To me, most of the angst here is at a tier 1 personal level. At green, there is an emphasis on non-cognitive lines of development, which don’t appear to have been embodied. And the transition to tier2 is an enormous jump in consciousness in which attachment/identification to personalities is greatly reduced.  

This sounds really accurate, could you please elaborate more on that specifically?  

[7thLetter]

@Serotoninluv So basically you're trying to say is I'm not Yellow, gotcha.

Honestly I do think that I'm more Orange than anything, I'm very entrepreneurial and results driven.

Then what is this behavior I'm talking about in this post?

[Forestluv]

Just now, 7thLetter said:

@Serotoninluv So basically you're trying to say is I'm not Yellow, gotcha.

Honestly I do think that I'm more Orange than anything, I'm very entrepreneurial and results driven.

Then what is this behavior I'm talking about in this post?

A person is not fully in any one stage. Each person is a mosaic of stages, yet we often say a person is “centered” in a particular stage. For example, Sam Harris is a mix of Orange, Green and Yellow. 

There are also different developmental lines. Many people develop fastest along the cognitive line - especially minds that are naturally left brain oriented. A person can be higher developed on some lines than others. For example, I’d say Ken Wilbur is very highly developed along the cognitive line and less so along the emotional and empathic lines. For those orientated toward cognition, these other lines aren’t very appealing. Imagine a brilliant integral thinker that cannot form healthy interpersonal relationships because they lack emotional and inter-personal skills/development. 

You could very well have aspects of yellow cognition. You could be attracted to yellow level thinking. Many orange level intellectuals are attracted to cognitive aspects of yellow and want to breeze over Green.  It’s not uncommon to see Orange/Yellow hybrids along the cognitive line that are lagging along other lines of development.

Imagine an olympic decathlete who is naturally muscular with a larger body frame. He will naturally want to work on the strength events such as the shot put and discuss. He will not be attracted to the endurance events like the 1500m run. 

[Truth Addict]

@7thLetter

I think that change can only occur on the ground of acceptance. In other words, what you resist persists.

Systems thinking is what I think you should be learning more about:

https://thesystemsthinker.com/introduction-to-systems-thinking/

 

[David Hammond]

@Truth Addict Accept everything. Even if it's faffing...

[Truth Addict]

28 minutes ago, David Hammond said:

@Truth Addict Accept everything. Even if it's faffing...

I accept you ❤️

[Leo Gura]

@7thLetter You need a mystical awakening to Absolute Love.

Your heart is still closed. You still do not realize what Love is.

Once you do that, it will soften you, and you will discover what life is really about, what God is really about.

Intellect without Love is a barren desert.

To transcend Yellow requires the greatest leap of all into the realm of the Absolute. You must have many mystical experiences which ultimately lead to the realization of God.

[David Hammond]

1 hour ago, Truth Addict said:

I accept you ❤️

✌

[Shin]

16 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@7thLetter You need a mystical awakening to Absolute Love.

Your heart is still closed. You still do not realize what Love is.

Once you do that, it will soften you, and you will discover what life is really about, what God is really about.

Intellect without Love is a barren desert.

To transcend Yellow requires the greatest leap of all into the realm of the Absolute. You must have many mystical experiences which ultimately lead to the realization of God.

I will have one and prove you wrong.

Intellect devil

[Leo Gura]

@Shin Good luck proving Love wrong, devil!

Ahahahahahaha.....

You will be dead, and on your grave, Love will dawn.

[Shin]

33 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Shin Good luck proving Love wrong, devil!

Ahahahahahaha.....

You will be dead, and on your grave, Love will dawn.

 

 

Fuck this shit

 

[bejapuskas]

9 hours ago, 7thLetter said:

@Serotoninluv So basically you're trying to say is I'm not Yellow, gotcha.

Honestly I do think that I'm more Orange than anything, I'm very entrepreneurial and results driven.

Then what is this behavior I'm talking about in this post?

What about just throwing this model away and pay attention to the things, that are causing your suffering, rather than trying to fit into some category?