Why aren't "smart" people attracted to me?

[noip]

I've been a part of another forum for almost 4 years now. Whenever I make threads there, almost always the responses have been from people I consider "frustrating" in that they have very narrow scopes and outlooks, fail to properly assess and address issues, don't consider various perspectives, come to "make conclusions" within the thread that were already stated in the original post and yet still fail to address the topic, have ideas that aren't well thought-out or logical, and/or personally attack me.

Why do I attract this particular cohort? Why aren't the "smart" people attracted to and engaging with me?

Also, please don't be offended by my use of the word "smart." I'm not using it to put others down, only to define a "set of people" that I'd rather be engaging with. You could call them "Apples" if you should prefer and it'd still be relevant.

[SFRL]

I would engage with you but then I would be dumb ?

Edited May 9, 2019 by SFRL

[flowboy]

Why do you think this has anything to do with you?

From a written question without a face or any behavioral cues, there is not so much metadata to be gleaned that the concept of these people being attracted to "you" makes sense. What would drive the "smart" people away? Your phrasing?

Two guesses I can think of:

• You're a perfectionist and none of the responses seem smart to you, because in your mind you are sure you know better anyway.
  If this is the case then making threads doesn't even make sense to do
• The other forum simply doesn't have the "smart" people you are looking for

[Key Elements]

What was the thing that made you enter the other forum group in the first place? Think about it. I think it has to do with the decision that one made to enter the group in the first place.

How about this? If you had your own child, where will you put him/her in school in the beginning? A school is a group. You probably would want to pick the best school, with the best ranking, in a good neighborhood. You probably research on that. Oh, you can't afford it? Maybe you may want to do self-inquiry in what you're good at & your interests, and make a career out of that, and then go for a calling.

When I enter a group, I try to research and pick the best group. But, will I be in a win-win situation? Ask yourself, what is my objective here? What do I want? If I can't get it, if I can't be around "smart" ppl, could another goal/objective be achieved? If you zoom out, and look at life from a "bird's eye view," the biggest picture in life isn't to just look for someone to be with.

[Flatworld Crusades]

2 hours ago, noip said:

I've been a part of another forum for almost 4 years now. Whenever I make threads there, almost always the responses have been from people I consider "frustrating" in that they have very narrow scopes and outlooks, fail to properly assess and address issues, don't consider various perspectives, come to "make conclusions" within the thread that were already stated in the original post and yet still fail to address the topic, have ideas that aren't well thought-out or logical, and/or personally attack me.

Why do I attract this particular cohort? Why aren't the "smart" people attracted to and engaging with me?

Also, please don't be offended by my use of the word "smart." I'm not using it to put others down, only to define a "set of people" that I'd rather be engaging with. You could call them "Apples" if you should prefer and it'd still be relevant.

You know that there are different types on these forums. There are those, that I assume, sit and wait for certain people to post so they can jump in and attack any perceived faults to make themselves seem very clever. I agree Its frustrating when you want to gain access to the more intellectual forum members but they create haze & no one comes.  Have you thought about emailing those people you'd like access to? 

Its possible that you have subconsciously changed the style or format of your posts in anticipation of these frustrations, but playing into their hands by mistake? There must be something about the topics you have chosen that makes them popular with the wrong people. Maybe rather than post a thread for a while, read and respond to get some good juju with those you are after.

 

 

[noip]

Just wanted to express that I'm really impressed with the replies so far. It has given me much to consider and think about.

[bejapuskas]

We are just humans, we can do mistakes, not everybody fits into your definition of smart. If you expect this to be like this, it is a problem.

Maybe there are still many things for you to learn from not-smart people, just be patient.

[RichardY]

@noip What do you consider smart? What sort of topics were you interested in?

[outlandish]

I think "Smartness of a reply" is sort of a function like this:

Smartness of reply = (smartness of person) * (time put into reply) * (attention/focus on the task)

Most people aren't that smart. Also, they don't take much time on an internet forum, are half distracted when doing it, and might not  really properly read what you said. Like in conversation, most people are so focused on what they are saying, they forget how it connects to what the other person said, so they might totally miss the mark. For example I already forgot what you asked exactly, and I just skimmed all of the other longer replies, and feel like I'm going on a bit of a tangent here. I don't think I'm a dummy, but that's exactly what a dummy *would* think.

I've been noticing lately that most people just aren't that smart. I try not to look at the world that way because it can be very judgemental, but also you have to look at the world clearly and honestly. Pretending that everyone is smart just so you don't have to feel bad for judging them is a bit dishonest. Better to just look at it honestly and note that it's not a bad thing if someone isn't "smart". It's not a judgement of someone's worth.

Another very important factor is that by definition, everyone is hyperaware of the areas they are smart in, and unaware in the areas they are not. This is a cognitive bias that make everyone think they're smarter than everyone else.

There was a funny line in a standup routine (maybe Ellen?): Think of the average person's smartness. Not that smart right? Now remember that half the population is dumber than that average person!! lol 

[Aeris]

On 09/05/2019 at 5:53 PM, noip said:

I've been a part of another forum for almost 4 years now. Whenever I make threads there, almost always the responses have been from people I consider "frustrating" in that they have very narrow scopes and outlooks, fail to properly assess and address issues, don't consider various perspectives, come to "make conclusions" within the thread that were already stated in the original post and yet still fail to address the topic, have ideas that aren't well thought-out or logical, and/or personally attack me.

Why do I attract this particular cohort? Why aren't the "smart" people attracted to and engaging with me?

Also, please don't be offended by my use of the word "smart." I'm not using it to put others down, only to define a "set of people" that I'd rather be engaging with. You could call them "Apples" if you should prefer and it'd still be relevant.

logic doesn't exist,

everything is explained

or maybe nothing,

y, everyone is of the same stupidity is of the same smartness

all the mumble is a cloud of feeling translated to human tchacha waves, so call'd talking rational affair.

[Leo Gura]

The quality of your answers depend a lot on the quality of your questions.