10'000 profanities

[mandyjw]

4 hours ago, tsuki said:

Ahhh, it's so embarrassing to write this stuff .

What stuff, and who is embarrassed? 

Edited May 10, 2019 by mandyjw

[tsuki]

10 hours ago, mandyjw said:

What stuff, and who is embarrassed? 

The stuff from Sacred space.

[tsuki]

 

[mandyjw]

3 hours ago, tsuki said:

The stuff from Sacred space.

I thought they were quite excellent, the best yet in the whole journal. 

[tsuki]

5 hours ago, mandyjw said:

I thought they were quite excellent, the best yet in the whole journal. 

I thought that too and that is what's embarrassing about it. I am sharing the most intimate parts of myself.

Recently I've been asking myself whether I really am this humble, or that my sense of self is so inflated that I confused myself with God.
With all the gifts I've been blessed with, I decided to not pursue science and live ordinary life while studying independently.
From one point of view, I am pressed to study and develop myself because my mind would turn on itself and I would go mad.
From another point of view, I am wasting my potential while studying fairy tales and creating theories of everything that even the most profound philosophers never attempted to. I treat sacred space as a notebook where I perfect my understanding, hoping that somebody else finds value in my writing.

It's not entirely clear to me whether I'm insanely wise, or just insane.
My only reality check is to just be honest and write whatever I truly think so that people can decide for themselves and stay away if they find my mind to be threatening.

[mandyjw]

26 minutes ago, tsuki said:

It's not entirely clear to me whether I'm insanely wise, or just insane.
My only reality check is to just be honest and write whatever I truly think so that people can decide for themselves and stay away if they find my mind to be threatening.

I could have written that. Well I couldn't have, but I feel the exact same way about almost everything I write in my journal. 

[tsuki]

My god, I absolutely love this song.
I'm not even ashamed of listening to Miley Cyrus. It's really good.

Edited May 11, 2019 by tsuki

[mandyjw]

That's been on the radio a lot lately, I didn't even realize it was by her.

I came in like a wrecking balllllllllll....

[tsuki]

Important note: alchemy is the intersection of two archetypes.
Are paradoxes descriptions of archetypes?

Edited May 14, 2019 by tsuki

[tsuki]

The only way to measure your spiritual growth is to observe and appreciate how spiritual the whole world is.

[tsuki]

I've been contemplating my recent essays in Sacred Space and it's scary to continue them, to draw more conclusions and go deeper.
I think that this fear is rooted in the possibility that I will end up empty-handed again. My reason for stalling is that I can see the INTJ staring back at me from those writings. There is a hint of universality in it, but it takes a lot of distillation and care to observe it.

I've been pondering about the nature of introverted intuition a lot lately, mainly to understand other cognitive functions.
I can see the distinction between thinking and feeling and turn introversion into extraversion here pretty well.
The difference between intuition and sensing and the attitude towards them are still a mystery to me.

For an INTJ, preception axis is greatly polarized where introverted intuition (Ni) is dwarfing extraverted sensing (Se).
In order to squeeze myself into extraverted intuition and introverted sensing I would have to flip my attitude towards these functions and it is surprisingly difficult. Intuition is the most subtle of all cognitive functions, even more so when it is introverted. On top of that, it is my primary function and it is something that is supposedly so heavily used and natural that it feels like breathing. I began to observe its workings only recently, just a few years ago.

https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Jungian_cognitive_functions#/Intuition
https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Intuition

[tsuki]

Oh my god, make it stop! Needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy NEEDY!

[mandyjw]

Our inner child is needy sometimes. That's just how kids are. It's ok. 

[tsuki]

I'm scared it's gonna stay that way . It's not gonna stay that way, right?

[mandyjw]

@tsuki It will stay that way until you let it come out. You have no idea how connected I feel to my three year old today. 

[tsuki]

How do I let it out?

[mandyjw]

Just follow your wants and impulses without fear of judgement or losing love from anyone. No filters. 

[tsuki]

The only thing I want right now is for this feeling to stop. This is my sole desire, to enjoy the rest of the evening without a 3 year old running rampant in my heart.

All it wants is attention and is getting all of it from me.

[mandyjw]

What if the three year old IS your heart? 

[tsuki]

What do you do with a little shit that throws tantrums solely for the sake of getting your attention? You give him attention regularly when he's not throwing tantrums, right? But what do you do right now, to get him to stop? If I start to calm him down, then that's giving attention and it just tells him that it's the way to do it.