Despite meditating, I feel like I'm sleeping all the time.

[Manjushri]

My consciousness is so dim. My essence is yearning for more. But no matter how much I meditate, I never feel really present, nor aware, maybe just vaguely mindful. Like a cloudy hazy deep sleep. Even in states of meditation do I feel just concentrated, but still sleeping. When and how the fuck do I wake up?????? I want to wake up!!!! 

[Lister]

@Manjushri Awareness is always awake. You just have not been able to seperate it from the objects that appear in it.

I know what you mean though, you want the body mind to be more wakeful, but I think you are mistaking the body mind for awareness itself.

Look at all the objects in your vision. The body sensations, the sounds in the room, the sounds in your head. The images, the thoughts, the body. These are all objects, and they all change (are unreal). What is it about you that doesn't change, had never changed, is real, never wavers or gets tired or disappears?

When you find that which had never left you, you have found awareness. 

Edited May 5, 2019 by Lister

[Jkris]

@Lister but to realize that the mind should be alert and only in the absence of all objects and in nothing Ness alone that can be realized is what my understanding so for.Is that correct ? 

[Nahm]

@Manjushri

Meditation alone is not enough. Self inquire, attend a retreat, take a reiki class, try a psychedelic, read more books, develop more interests.

Question & scrutinize reality, inspect yourself, don’t fall for the cover story. Learn about biology, psychology, emotional intelligence, quantum mechanics, etc.

Find out where you want to be headed. What is the greater plan which meditation is foundational to? Let your Manjushri out, see what is really wanted. 

As you go, be questioning your hand. Don’t fall for the cover story. Try to explain it. 

 

 

[zeroISinfinity]

1 hour ago, Jkris said:

@Lister but to realize that the mind should be alert and only in the absence of all objects and in nothing Ness alone that can be realized is what my understanding so for.Is that correct ? 

Your mind is perfect already. Whole point in emptying your mind is to see it is perfect whole and that thoughts are infinity that whole is possible to produce. Problem is that your cover story is created from fragmented pieces of the whole. So it is not Full Truth of who you are. It is not full Truth of what mind and everything IS. You have ONE mind. ❤️?

Edited May 6, 2019 by zeroISinfinity

[zeroISinfinity]

8 hours ago, Lister said:

@Manjushri

Look at all the objects in your vision. The body sensations, the sounds in the room, the sounds in your head. The images, the thoughts, the body. These are all objects, and they all change (are unreal). What is it about you that doesn't change, had never changed, is real, never wavers or gets tired or disappears?

When you find that which had never left you, you have found awareness. 

Be ready to total and complete mindfuck. 

You are on the right path. 

You noticed that awareness is merged with appearances. It is not separated. Yet you say awareness alone is real emty of phenomena. But that phenomena are unreal. See what you did. Something is not quite right ?

Also you can notice this experientaly from direct experience that awareness is not located behind your eyes and that you alone exist notice that awareness is omnipresent. It is spread in all directions everywhere. 

❤️

Contemplate:

*what is object

*what is distinction

*what is border

Edited May 6, 2019 by zeroISinfinity