my sibling is starting actualized, what videos to start with?

[Mezanti]

my 16 year old sibling is very depressed, has social anxiety, was suicidal, and also is now very deeply into spirituality ;

she reads teaching of eckhart tolle, ramana maharshi, buddha the list goes on...

she is lost in life, doesnt go to school, doesnt have friends, has bad social skills.

what can she start doing to turn her life around?

which actualized.org videos should she watch first?

anything you say is of help thanks  

[Forestluv]

I would recommend 65 keys to a good life

[d0ornokey]

What does she want? What small steps is she willing to take to get there? 

 

some lessons i've learnt: 

- you must be patient, it takes time to get out of this state

- if she dives deeply into self-improvement eventually those healthier thoughts will have a good impact on her 

- watch your projections. you must truly believe in her potential and see her as someone capable. your philosophy of her will self-fulfill 

- be compassionate, loving, supportive and be a gentle hand towards her. Love is truly a powerful force when someone is dealing with pain like this.

- breathe positivity, and be a leader/inspiration to her. she probably has a very deep fixed mindset. She needs to believe she can grow, currently, she probably feels helpless and hopeless. Develop a plan to show her she can change and how. However you must do it in a way that she resonates with. Positive and neutral responses are good. Negative responses are most likely not good. 

- Let go. you must be outcome independent. you don't have control over her and can't change her. her change must come within at the end of the day. but do whatever is in your control 

- if she has become the focus of your life, you must find boundaries for yourself. negativity is contagious - find outlets for yourself for positivity

- do the self-improvement yourself. Your real lessons/insights will be of most value to her. Know. Talk is cheap and not inspirational when not embodied.

- if she sees people like her or people in a similar situation who have changed, that will revolutionize her life and give her hope. this is an emotional reaction on her part but you can try to spark it by showing her resources/people/stories/examples of yourself 

 good luck!I

 

Edited May 5, 2019 by d0ornokey

[Gabriel Antonio]

How to Stop Caring What Other People Think 

I think in her case she needs the help of a good psychologist, because she seems to be very lost. 

Best of luck!

[Mezanti]

@d0ornokey I appreciate the response 

[ivory]

On 5/5/2019 at 9:16 AM, d0ornokey said:

What does she want? What small steps is she willing to take to get there? 

^^ Good advice ^^

Maybe also have her check out the healthy and unhealthy manifestations at each stage of spiral dynamics. That will let her know what she needs to work on:

http://spiraldynamicsintegral.nl/en/red/
http://spiraldynamicsintegral.nl/en/blue/
http://spiraldynamicsintegral.nl/en/orange/
http://spiraldynamicsintegral.nl/en/green/

[Shin]

Tell her to listen to Byron Katie and Matt Kahn.

Edited May 6, 2019 by Shin

[kindayellow]

The Big Picture of Self Actualization, so she can really understand the magnitude of how much she can improve her life. And since she has depression and social anxiety, videos about understanding how emotions work and how to deal with them would be hugely helpful. Always my number one go to thing to do is to start a journal and just go really deep into topics you're struggling with, sometimes it's good to vent in the moment, write down all the emotions, and then deconstruct later. Oh and also Leo's videos on depression, and addiction.

[fortifyacacia3]

Type in "actualized suffering" on YouTube and those first 5 videos are a good start. They're shorter ones too. Then videos about life purpose, and then about ego

 

[Nahm]

 

On 5/5/2019 at 11:24 AM, Mezanti said:

what can she start doing to turn her life around?

Meditation, changing her diet, fitness, & psychology.