kieranperez

Making Radical 4 Month Transition - Tips for Expected Strong Ego Backlash?

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In the next week or so I’m doing a 4 month door-door sales gig where I’m working 50 hours a week 6 days a week. I took this gig from someone actually on here on the forum who I’ll be with because I have the chance to earn $20-50k this summer and I can then move out from home and start a new chapter in my life. 

Though this sounds great on paper, I cannot explain how terrified I feel. I was watching the video on Ego Backlash and I reall resonated when @Leo Gura talked about being in such a dysfunctional state where even the idea of change can spurt a lot of fear and massive resistance. 

It took me weeks to be honest with my dad who was the one in my family I always was dependent on to tell this too and he and I are on such unhealthy terms I didn’t even elicit much of a response. 

I have a LONG history of sabotaging my progress even if it’s from the very start and I know this job is already really intense on its own given what kinda sales I’ll be doing, the amount of hours, the emotional labor involved, etc. Not to mention the change that’s to come after this is all over... assuming I don’t blow up emotionally and sabotage my effort. I can have ego backlashes so strong so early on into new changes where I feel like I have so much anxiety I’m going to explode. 

This is going to be A LOT of change and obviously I dont want to blow up. Though I expect strong ego backlashes since I’ve never been away from home that long on my own, have never lived on my own, have developed a lot of dysfunctional mindsets and just way of living, etc. and I just wanted to reach out about what I can maybe do to handle these expected ego backlashes. I know self-love (though I’m often very unskilled at applying it) is going to be huge since I have a strong tendency to tear myself apart to the point where I feel like I’m in hell but wanted to see what else I can maybe do to have in my tool belt of strategies.

Thanks.

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I can tell from your post you are a smart guy man. While it's important to know the end goal you don't want to focus on it.  The only thing that has helped me is focusing on things step by step. Take things as they come, otherwise, you are going to worry too much.

 

Can't remember the book from Leos book list but the author says whenever times in life get hard you should say, "this is where the fun begins"

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Even taking that first step into the unknown is already a brave decision which you should be proud of and I respect you for that. Even if you dont live up to your expectations you will learn alot nonetheless.

U have nothing to lose. The safety net will be there when u return home. 

Ego backlashes are tricky and deceptive. They manifest differently for different people. But realise this... what if you just push through anyway, surf that wave of intense emotion until it settles. How good would that feel? And when the next backlash strikes you will know how to handle it better. Lets use these backlashes as opportunities for further growth rather than dread and avoid them. 

Your Dad will be proud of you efforts. 

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@kieranperez hope it will be much easier after several days and I wish you to adapt rapidly ?


🌻 Thinking independently about the spiral stages themselves is important for going through them in an organic, efficient way. If you stick to an external idea about how a stage should be you lose touch with its real self customized process trying to happen inside you.

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Sales is an intense field. You will learn and grow a lot by the end of the 4 months

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