advice?

[SageModeAustin]

Hey guys I hung out with this girl that I've had a fwb relationship with for two months now and I blew it. I was sick/negative mood and it just ended so terribly. She stated before that she likes her ex still and she said he just got out of jail. So when she was texting him (hes in texas) and getting really happy it triggered the shiit out of me although i tried to act un-phased. I just need some god honest help, really struggling here.

The weird thing is that yesterday we hung out and it went soooooo well. We watched end game and the whole night just went perfectly. Compared to this I'm just so confused as to how easily it can flip..

[SFRL]

@SageModeAustin

Is this really a girl you want to build a relationship with? 

She is bouncing off your dick while her ex is put away. Doesnt sound to me like she is the kind of girl you can rely on when things go against you. Like when you loose your job for example. 

Not that I would expect that from too many people. 

That's like one of the reason why affairs seldom work out. Because the two people having an affair deep down know that they are both untrustworthy. 

 

Edited May 2, 2019 by SFRL

[SFRL]

Bottom line is it's just a whole lot of dysfunctionality. It's not going to better you. 

[Flatworld Crusades]

7 hours ago, SFRL said:

Bottom line is it's just a whole lot of dysfunctionality. It's not going to better you. 

Well said. I agree

shes manipulating you. One day she texting her ex in front of you to make you jealous,. The next day she is playing house with you again . She's screwing with your mind. 

[Shin]

You're basically his "waiting for the true dick buddy"

Lol cut it off.

[SageModeAustin]

@SFRL @Shin @Flatworld Crusades

Thing is, it's much much more complicated than that little paragraph that I wrote above. There's so much context.

Main points: First month was good between us then I decided to take her to a pick-up dating/personal development seminar. A bunch of guys hit on her. I got jealous. I hit on other girls. She got jealous. At the end of the night we hooked up still and sort of made up (she said I didn't like any of those guys and that I said yeah sorry I just get kind of weird like that, something along those lines). 

Problem: That night changed the dynamic. It created a jealousy game between us. 

Another example: At the gym some girl randomly decided to help keep my back from swinging when I was doing leg raises. She got really silent and in her head the rest of the workout and we talked about it after and she said yeah i just felt like "why is this bitch touching my man"

She would also ask me if I ever hooked up with any girls at the bar from that one night after the personal development event

There's so many jealousy example from both sides (i just can't think of all of them right now)

One time she was telling me about this other guy that wants to keep hanging out with her, but she said she's been ignoring him because she's been spending all of her time with me. I told her that well I have a date tonight with a korean/italian girl that wants to go drinking, but I don't want to really go because I'm with you right now. (Not what I meant to say at all). That same day I tried to say hey I didn't mean to say I'd rather hook up with other girls or anything like that and she got really mad, and said I don't give a fuck who you hook up with,etc. Then some shit went down (bad energies): She clarified that she only wanted a friends with benefits relationship. Then said "i think this has hit the end of its line" and i agreed. Idk what happened, but we ended up going to the bars and we both opened up about stuff and she told me she still likes her ex. I said I understand, allg, had sex that night and the next morning I dropped her off at work expecting to never see or hear from her again. I hook up with another girl that day, expecting all is done with her then she hits me up to hangout. I was very surprised and at this point and was then convinced that she doesn't know what the fuck she wants and as long as I keep my cool I could possibly land a relationship with her. 

During the first month I mistakenly asked for a relationship (which you never fucking do as a guy), she said she's been thinking about it but she doesn't know. Then another time she said I've been thinking about what you asked, but I want to make sure there's no cheating. Another time we drank wine and we talked about if we've hooked up with anyone recently and we both said no like a month ago. That night was awesome. I really enjoyed that night.

Another time we were hanging out in her house and her sister walked in asking if we were dating. She said fwb and i said somewhere in between (ouch). Haha

She says she wants fwb (which I do believe she just does want that), BUT at times she sends me mixed signals. Like she'll ask me if I want to watch a movie with her and pay for my ticket + buy me food. OR she'll make me cauliflower soup at her house, or just sometimes the way she kisses me when we are at the beach or something.

basically I think I have a chance of having her as a girlfriend, if i keep my cool, have an amazing time with her every time we are together and just kinda be there for her as well. Whilst not being an emotional leach, or being needy at all. 

Edited May 4, 2019 by SageModeAustin

[SFRL]

@SageModeAustin

Like I always say: You don't know ANYTHING about the other person for the first 3 months. And it takes 6 months to build a real bond. 

I would just keep doing what you guys have been doing. Maybe 3 or 4 months in you can drop/hint the idea of a relationship again if that's what you want. If you have not found out more things that piss you off by then. 

[SageModeAustin]

@SFRL Yeah it's only been two months. I'm gonna take things reaallll slow. Like really slow. I'm not gonna hint the relationship idea, I'll let her decide. Thanks man.

[Flatworld Crusades]

@SageModeAustin wow, that's hectic. Good luck with her. I'd just say protect your heart.  

[SFRL]

@SageModeAustin

No problem. 

[d0ornokey]

she doesn't seem committed. that's the vibe im getting 

like why are there games in the first place?

if she still likes her ex that feels like a red flag to me

just my op

 

are they always this messy? 

Edited May 15, 2019 by d0ornokey