Embarrassed with lack of LP Course Progress

[-Rowan]

Hi there all,

A fairly long post but any answers would be GREATLY appreciated!

So I bought the LP course at the start of 2018 and was doing well up until the zone of genius contemplation questions. Basically, I've been stuck on figuring out my zone of genius for over a year and the frustration with this section has led to a lot of procrastination. I got up to the Z.O.G questions last year when I was in the 2nd year of University. I've been working hard at uni and I'm expecting to get a 1st at the end of the year as I'm almost finished with the course. I know working on university work isn't an excuse for the procrastination but I've felt really bad because I've been contemplating and re-doing the exercises on and off for over 6 months. I've even re-done all the videos and exercises up until that point, refining my strengths and values to feel like I wasn't wasting time. My problem is I just can't seem to put down an answer to the zone of genius question that feels truly authentic and really like it is MY zone of genius.

I have a lot of answers, but none of them seems to really really resonate with me and make me say "It's definitely this". Sure, I have good strengths, but I can't seem to get that "oh yeah, obviously my zone of genius is THIS." Moment.  I'm starting to wonder if it's an age/life experience thing. Leo also mentioned it took a lot of life experience for him to figure out his zone of genius, and I'm starting to wonder if it's just a question of me not having sampled enough experiences in life yet? I'm 21 and although the course has brought out a lot of good ideas and content, I feel like maybe I haven't had the right experiences to say "yes, this is my zone of genius." and have it feel super authentic and like it is THE answer. I'm starting to doubt if you can even nail these answers to one thing, as I see a lot of others on the forum struggling with the LP course.

I've tried to answer these questions and think about them well, even using LSD microdosing and a light 80ug trip to get into the zone and contemplate the questions, which did prove somewhat useful. I'm in a bit of a rut because, in the course, Leo says "Take as long as you want, take half an hour if you have to" and I've been trying to get this section nailed for months. It's only because I really want to nail this section. Here's my latest draft:

 

Unique Ability question:

·        My Humour + Playfulness *

·        Creative idea generation *

·        Love of learning *

·        Creative solutions

·        Seeing life from a different perspective

·        Diligence/Perseverance/Patience

·        Writing/Language skills

·        Creative solutions

·        Organization and research skills

·        Connecting the big picture concepts

·        Friendliness

 

Due to my own frustration in trying to get this section done, I just decided to go ahead with the best thing that I could come up with at the time and follow through the questions as If this was the best answer.  This did give me some sense of excitement, which is good progress, but I still feel that my humour is forced sometimes and I'm having some resistance to committing my zone of genius down to that skill, especially since my current domain is music technology and my entire life has generally followed a music path since I was 10 - and I thought my zone of genius would be inside that area. 

 

The "I'm the best" question

Answer: Being Funny, Playful and Light-hearted, Making Myself and Others Laugh*

·        Being Funny, Playful and Light Hearted, Making Myself and Others Laugh

·        Exploring in Nature

·        Generating Musical Ideas and Writing Music

·        Generating creative ideas

·        In nature / Feeling connected to nature / Exploring in Nature

·        Exercising

·        Energized & Aware

·        Listening to / Feeling Inspired by Music

·        Learning / Growing

·        Explaining personal development

 

The "exact thing" question

Using my intuition and creativity to recontextualize a situation or reality, violating expectations of that situation or reality, causing a sudden shift in perspective that releases tension and makes myself and others feel light-hearted joyous and playful. (Reading back this makes me cringe, it's far too Abstract, not a specific skill, however, keep in mind I was just 'rolling with it' at this point to see what would come out)

The "love most" question

I love the feeling of transcendent freedom and playfulness and release from the seriousness of life, seeing it from a higher perspective, feeling like life is perfect and I am free.

I love the release of tension from viewing life from this playful transcendent perspective and the afterglow of freedom, lightheartedness and wellbeing that I carry into mine and others lives.

This did give me somewhat a sense of excitement in getting those sentences out and reading it back feels quite authentic. Working in the course I am happy to have linked up 3 main domains that appear in my life career-wise all have a link. Music, Humour, and Spirituality/Personal Growth which have been my 3 main domains to appear in my life are all linked by this virtue of Transcendence, which is probably what I've been after for a long time. This is a great insight, but I still don't quite believe that humour is my authentic zone of genius.

I suppose anyone would think that humour is the right direction for the zone of genius. I'm just feeling resistance to say that my sense of humour is my zone of genius, its one of my top strengths but it doesn't feel like it's my TOP skill (even with all the indicators that it is) Is this just resistance? Or is my gut right, that there's something I'm even better at doing than just making people laugh etc. 

My frustration with getting a solid answer that I am really certain about has led me to doubt the course in some places and whether 'figuring out' an LP is even possible. Even my brother was saying how no one can figure themselves out like this, he thinks I was overthinking it all and sometimes I think that too. But I'm committed to completing this course thoroughly even if I've had it for over a year. I see the value in having a solid direction especially at a younger age like me but I just feel frustrated with not feeling 100% committed to the answers.

What are your thoughts on this? Will it take time for me to be able to answer this question with more life experience? Do I stop doing the course until I have more life experience? Is this all bullshit I'm telling myself? Do I go with humour as a zone of genius? I feel embarrassed to have still not completed the course, but any ideas would be thoroughly appreciated. Is this a normal part of the process or am I doing it wrong? 

 

Thank you for reading the long post and helping a young guy figure himself out  

All the best,

Rowan

 

 

 

 

[Elisabeth]

I'd say, leave the "zone of genius" a little fuzzy (knowing it's still fuzzy), and see if you can figure out your impact statement or not. (That's where I got stuck.) Maybe things click later. Maybe a purpose emerges anyway, or if not a purpose, at least a direction you'd like to go. 

I'd also say, if humor doesn't feel right, it's not right. You may be onto something with these "releasing tension" and seeing life from a "transcendental perspective" and feeling "lighthearted and playful" formulations though - isn't that what you do with music too?

And yes, it could be a life experience thing. Do stuff.

[-Rowan]

@Elisabeth Thank you so much for taking the time to read and for your reply. It's just what  I needed to hear. I agree I think I will for now leave Zone of genius a little fuzzy and work on impact statement. It's not that humor doesn't feel right, as its definitely one of my best strengths, but I feel like there's got to be something that I'm better at than that. Yes, I also noticed a clear link between these 3 main domains that have been in my life since I was young - music, humor, nature, personal development/spirituality are all linked by the virtue of Transcendence, so I am happy with discovering that. I'm definitely zoning in on a domain. 

Thanks for the reply. I do think I'm onto something with the transcendent link between things but I will work on impact statement, for now, to make sure I don't procrastinate any longer. 

Again, thank you for the reply, it is greatly appreciated

Edited May 11, 2019 by -Rowan
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[d0ornokey]

This is my guess, you're overthinking it, trying to get the PERFECT answer. but rather the perfect answer doesn't exist and you must be okay with not knowing some of it and go through the exploration process to actually discover it. my guess is that you must truly commit to something, and discover through trial and error, creating a new mindset and chapter of

commitment and discovery 

my guess is that you're being ocd about it to get the perfect answer as to prevent you from taking action, because action is scary, difficult and requires lots of change 

"i'm not sure what the answer is, and that's okay. i'm okay with that uncertainty" 

Another thing you can do is to sit down and watch leo's lastest video and ask yourself, "what is really happening here?" "what do I need to do?"  

Edited May 16, 2019 by d0ornokey