spirituality is too deep

[andyjohnsonman]

I realised all this spiritual work i'm doing is just for my ego. I'm just wanting to be a better person but within that there is separation between me and other. I want to be better than others which is just more ego. The ego is incredibly sneaky and it always wants to be in control. Last night I had a balloon with nitrous oxide and after inhaling the whole thing got a 20 second ego death. It really freaked me out and makes me think whether or not nothingness is synonymous with love as my ego was terrified when regaining control and the nothingness just seemed scary. However I have had much better experiences on mushrooms. Maybe i should just stay away from nitrous oxide.   

[pluto]

All that is ever asked is to be yourself and love yourself. Everything else will come to you naturally.

One step at a time, relax, breathe and just live moment to moment.

There is no need to complicate it further.

Bless

[andyjohnsonman]

thats a really nice comment thanks

[Leo Gura]

Careful with nitrous. It isn't heathly and the trips are so short it's not worth it. Stick mushrooms.

You haven't even seen 5% of its depth yet. The mindfuck is total 

[Truth Addict]

@andyjohnsonman

There is nothing you do that is not for your ego, so don't create that duality.

If you want to be completely selfless, you would literally have to physically die.

As long as you are alive, you are still going to be an ego.

Edited May 2, 2019 by Truth Addict

[Shadowraix]

1 hour ago, Truth Addict said:

@andyjohnsonman

There is nothing you do that is not for your ego, so don't create that duality.

If you want to be completely selfless, you would literally have to physically die.

As long as you are alive, you are still going to be an ego.

This. The desire to know the truth is egoic. The goal here is mainly to be able to perceive past the ego to better serve the ego. Truth is truth regardless if perceives know it or not. 

You may always have an ego but you can be more conscious with it. What do you want to do? 

[FoxFoxFox]

@andyjohnsonman "Depth" is a quality pertaining to maya and not of the Self. You may wish to explore maya to any length you wish, but do not confuse it with making progress towards the Self. 

[tedens]

2 hours ago, andyjohnsonman said:

I realised all this spiritual work i'm doing is just for my ego. I'm just wanting to be a better person but within that there is separation between me and other. I want to be better than others which is just more ego. The ego is incredibly sneaky and it always wants to be in control. 

It seems like You are not doing the meta work.

[Buba]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Careful with nitrous. It isn't heathly and the trips are so short it's not worth it. Stick mushrooms.

You haven't even seen 5% of its depth yet. The mindfuck is total 

If less than 5% of it makes us shit pants, then how will we digest the rest?

[Shin]

It's not gonna make you a better person,

It's gonna kill you.

[Inliytened1]

@Leo Gura and so it must be!

@andyjohnsonman remember relative to your ego whose sole focus is on your survival..nothingness is gonna seem the oppositie of everything that it actually is!  

Keep in mind that You with a capital Y made it that way so that the small you can even exist!  

 

 

[Robi Steel]

There has to be a time when the real goal of this work is discussed within you. Not ending of the ego, ending of you, you are the ego. In order to stop this constant 1-upping yourself, there has to be end to discrimination in your mind. All of language is discrimination, all active mental venturing is discrimination. There is nothing scary about letting go of yourself, it is a matter of giving your body the proper peace it deserves. No-mind is peace

[Flatworld Crusades]

5 hours ago, andyjohnsonman said:

I realised all this spiritual work i'm doing is just for my ego. I'm just wanting to be a better person but within that there is separation between me and other. I want to be better than others which is just more ego. The ego is incredibly sneaky and it always wants to be in control.

I wouldn't beat yourself up over this, you would be surprised how many spiritualist have gone through this wanting to be better, or are still stuck there. There is a lot of superior attitudes on every forum I've ever been on including this one. 

[Shin]

20 minutes ago, Flatworld Crusades said:

I wouldn't beat yourself up over this, you would be surprised how many spiritualist have gone through this wanting to be better, or are still stuck there. There is a lot of superior attitudes on every forum I've ever been on including this one. 

 

"I will be more popular than everyone else"

"I will be more conscious than everyone else"

 

[Leo Gura]

@FoxFoxFox Maya and Self are one.

You cannot know Self without knowing Maya too.

Not only is there depth but also breadth, and both are the Self, since Self is all.

[zeroISinfinity]

So literally I am the guy on news that slaughter his grandfather. Uncoditional love so hard to attain it. 

[Flatworld Crusades]

8 hours ago, Shin said:

 

"I will be more popular than everyone else"

"I will be more conscious than everyone else"

 

Completely agree. 

I went through  this myself until the Universe gave me a kick and told me to sort it out. I think it's one of the hardest belief systems to shake because you desperately want to be special. 

[abrakamowse]

14 hours ago, andyjohnsonman said:

I realised all this spiritual work i'm doing is just for my ego. I'm just wanting to be a better person but within that there is separation between me and other. I want to be better than others which is just more ego. The ego is incredibly sneaky and it always wants to be in control. Last night I had a balloon with nitrous oxide and after inhaling the whole thing got a 20 second ego death. It really freaked me out and makes me think whether or not nothingness is synonymous with love as my ego was terrified when regaining control and the nothingness just seemed scary. However I have had much better experiences on mushrooms. Maybe i should just stay away from nitrous oxide.   

Same thing happened to me, the ego freaked out so much that I was like screaming and completely shocked. Like the devil looking at God Lol...

and that's what really happened hehehe... we need to learn to stay calm in the presence of no-self. And not be scared because that's what we really are. But the ego doesn't want to die.

[Flatworld Crusades]

3 minutes ago, abrakamowse said:

Same thing happened to me, the ego freaked out so much that I was like screaming and completely shocked. Like the devil looking at God 

Same here, I could not believe that I just couldn't see my prejudices. I was so shocked that I was ready to go back to the beginning 

[abrakamowse]

@Flatworld Crusades  I thought I was going crazy, and because I had some psychotic episodes before I went to the hospital Lol... they were as clueless as me.

Then I realized what was happening. Now I would like to have that experience again.