I have no friends.

[ivankiss]

@Shin Aw snap! 

Edited May 16, 2019 by ivankiss

[ivankiss]

@Shin You remind me of him... 

[JohnnyBravo]

The Significance of a Wing/ Mentor for Social Skills OR pickup

"Until you observe someone else doing it, the activity is still just a seed in your mind."- Unknown

Back in 2010-2012, I would watch early YouTube videos of men talking to random girls on the streets.

It was not until 2013 that I began my first phase of proper talking to real girls on the real streets (and not online).

I have talked to strangers before. I know how to mingle and stuff a little bit. I have even done a sales job before where I was forced to stop people and interact with them. And, And!! I had watched YouTube videos of men talking to women! (and back at this time, many of those guys were Australian, and they were shooting their videos in the streets of Sydney and Birsbane that I am familiar with!!).

So we beget the question,

Why did it take so long, and why were there so many barriers towards striking up sexual conversations with women and flirting with them in a sensible format, and yet I could muscle my way into talking to strangers?.....

Was it a lack of my confidence? Maybe I was just a coward all along.

Was it a lack of motivation? Maybe I needed to engage in this NoFap idea.

Was it a lack of self-image issues? Maybe I needed a more expensive perfume.

And here I Was frustrated and single, not knowing what else to do.

And then God sent me my first pickup mentor, who was also my wing for about 5 months.

And through WATCHING this man actually DO and BEHAVE the way I want to - in my own eyes right in front of me with me and not through a screen- my reality shifted. All of a sudden I began talking to girls easily. I began going to bars on my own and not feeling self-conscious as much. Everything fell into place.

The reason a wing is not to be avoided is because *watching someone do the behaviour makes it more 'normal' in your mind.*

Have you ever seen a martial artist do shadow boxing?

The first time you saw him shadow boxing, you probably were thinking, "Is he dancing? He is not fighting anyone, but why is he punching the air? Could he at least punch the boxing bag??"
 

And after you yourself have watched Rocky or Hajime No Ippo, try and not tell me you haven't at least tried shadow boxing on your own or in front of other people. Why now? Because the behaviour is now registered as 'normal' in your mind.

The good Master Mentor will eventually reveal to you that *any* comment or flirt you make to a woman is normal. This is a rare mentor and took me about one year to find someone who eventually did behave like a clown, was an absolute loser, and yet women loved him like I have never ever seen in my life.

This man, this Master Mentor, taught me how to dance. How? Well, he SHOWED ME with HIS BODY how to dance in public. It's easy once you have seen someone you trust perform the behaviour and be cool with it.

The signifance of a wing- not even a mentor- is that through them approaching girls or talking to strangers in the street, you give yourself permission quickly to do that behaviour yourself and try.

"Try." The way to get good at anything is to do it more often. Practise. Helio Gracie would say "repetition."

But until you meet a wing, even with me writing this and telling you that it is acceptable and polite and ok to talk girls you find attractive- you will still just consider this and not give it an attempt.

The wing is your gateway.

You can abandon the wing once you feel 'normal' talking to a girl when you see one.

And honestly, this entire subject of in state VS out of state is really marketing. It is not as relevant as you may think. The entire pickup and dating marketing culture, such as Redpill, will all try and make you feel you are not 'good enough' to approach a girl UNTIL you do XYZ....

It's nonsense.

Getting a wing can not only get you into talking to girls quicker, but it can save you a lot of money $$.

If you do not have a wing or mentor, you will probably be one of the thousands of poor young men that ends of buying countless pickup products, one after the other, year after year, still waiting for the 'magic moment' or 'magic phase' in your life to happen until you begin talking to girls. You want your dreams realised, but just not today for some reason.

Getting a wing, even for just one day, can have you get your hands in the clay rapidly and putting in fun effort quick.

Once you begin talking to girls and strangers, and you make it a DAILY THING you just 'do' for the fun of it, within about 5 days you will be a new person. Within two weeks you will have a date, and within a month you will wonder why it was ever so hard to do this thing after all.

Sadly because of our phone culture/smartphone era time we live in now (a very crazy era to be alive in), your options of meeting girls are only two fold:

1. Tinder (or dating site)

2. 'Chance.'

Both of those items are out of your efforts of control. Tinder is poison. 'Chance' by here I mean social circle, and meeting a girl every 2 years and having a small coffee date with her and then realising she never liked you all along.

Don't be that guy.

I know a guy my age whom never meets girls due to his severe introversion. It's problematic. He has his own house $$, his own business, he is a muscular gym good looking man, he has a close family and tie with them......And yet he cant even get a date despite 3 months of Tinder.

3 months of Tinder VS 3 DAYS of cold approach.

Yes 3 days. 3 DAYS. That is such a bold slap in the face isn't it. You will get more dates and experience in 3 days of talking to REAL PEOPLE in the REAL world compared to one year on Tinder.

I'm a handsome looking person, they call me JohhnyBravo, but Johhny for short. I am not Brad Pitt looking- I am better looking than that. I have 4 pack abs. My hair is spikey. My shirt is ironed and pressed. Currently wearing Lynx Africa, a highly expensive cologne....

And yet in one year of online game....I got 2 dates.

A wing is your GOLDEN TICKET to getting into the chocolate factory of infinite and limitless supply of meeting new people and including very attractive women.

If you keep doing what you have been doing, you will keep attaining the results you are getting.

I would advise to KILL the story of "oh I cant meet girls boohoo" and kill the story of "I am 30 and never been kissed, who can beat me?:- kill those stories now. There is no honour in them, and by the way, a father figure of mine whom I admire met his first girlfriend when he was 34. And he never brags nor talks himself down about it ever. He says it just as a Zen fact. I respect this man so much.

KILL that narrative. Either create a new story- become a Johnny Bravo or Austin Powers- otherwise drop the story. Start talking to strangers, do your best, have good intent and willpower, and just do your best.

And if you cannot seem to find yourself talking to strangers- a Wing is the silver bullet for now.

Once you have normalised this behaviour in your mind then let your wing go and give him your blessing.

The reason I was able to meet my wife was credit to my wing 6 years ago. Not me, my wing/mentor. If I had never normalised the behaviour of talking to strangers, I never would have been as fluent socially nor had the experiences I had.

You deserve this experience of mingling with The Universal Brotherhood. Enter it now. Good luck you two. Who knows maybe you two could exchange details and agree to meet up?

[JohnnyBravo]

Dating is NOT a math exam.

Dating is more like a maths test; it doesn't matter if you know the answer or not, just scribble something on the paper and try.

[Adilbek]

@ivankiss I was in Sri Lanka for 6 weeks in 2013, loved it there. I lived in Mount Lavinia area. Do you live in Colombo? Also about friends, I also found that I have many more friends than I had thought. We can be friends too