School And Socializing Advice

[Guest hi guys]

hi guys.

So I  am a 17 year old guy and I  am currently (for a week now) in  spring vacation which is 2 weeks.

For like the first 3-4 days I did what I always do during vacation - I played video games for like 6-8 hours a day lol and spend the rest of the time on youtube or some other insignificant shet.

A few days ago I uninstalled all my games cause even though leveling up and getting new gear for my character was quite nice and fulfilling , I put things into perspective and was like ''Even if I would  play for only  5 hours a week,that would still be a huge waste of time cause these  games are actually a dead end. And I am playing for 40 hours ".

Now I find myself sitting at home with kinda nothing to do.I WOULD  read a book about understanding women and relationships(cause I do struggle with the opposite sex), I would start studying for school and the University  exam that I am gonna have next year but I really can t find the motivation to it.

And most of all,I would hand out with some friends but...I am quite a lonely guy(and I like it to a certain degree). I don t really have any friends outside my classmates and a few other people.

The problem is... I live in a village  which is like 50 minutes car driving away from the town that I study in. So none of my classmates are around.

The road takes a lot of time (100 mins to go and get back) + money spent on it and the fact that the public transport system has a lot of gaps (2 and a half hour between the  buses).

There a few  people in my village that I know and I could possibly hang out ,but I don t really like them too much.(and we couldn t do fun activities anyway)

So I am kinda stuck at home ,having to study for my Uni exams that I ll have next year(which I definitely don t,I haven t done my homework  in 3 months LOL) ,do some self development research(watching videos,reading books) but I also kinda lack motivation for that ,or play video games(sometimes with friends) but a part of me wants to quit it because I become so addicted with every video game  even though my friends play in moderation.

I feel quite lonely and with no purpose(which I am aware are  some of  the most unattractive traits a guy can have for the opposite sex,and my personality isn t  my only problem when it comes to atrracting girls )  and that depresses me a little.

So basically I am looking for advice in:

-How to socialize IN GENERAL (I struggled with this quite a lot in my past- in fact,I didn t even tried to improve it,the 9th and 10th grade I  only cared about video games)

Also I feel like I don t really have anything to connect with other people( guys or girls ) if I rule out video games.

-How to socialize in my situation(can t really go out in the city and stuff)

-How to get motivated for schoolwork (I am looking to study computer  programming  which would be quite a nice job since I would earn decent money and not struggle with finding jobs but I really can t make studying for it my life purpose).

-How to resist temptation to play video games since  I  ve only quit for a few days,and to be honest I was tempted to start playing again quite a lot.

 

 

 

 

 

[Ryan_047]

@hi guys First of all,I can't say that I am very experienced in self-actualization,and I can't really give you some magical advice that will help you.But,I think that there are some things that I can help you with.By the way I am 16 years old.

So...Why don't you like the people in your village?Please give more details.And you said that you know "a few people".So,there are more I guess.Maybe you don't like that "few" people,try to find others.

Well,ok I understand that you can't go in town..but you can also socialize with people via internet,using Skype,Yahoo,Facebook.I guess your classmates might have accounts on the networks I have mentioned.Do you have any classmate that you like be around with?You can sleep at him/her some few days,it's vacation isn't it?And I don't really think that travelling by buss is that expensive.

Socializing..This was something I was terrible at and that I still struggle with in some situations.But I would get in more depth here...Are you shy/introvert?Think about that.Watch Leo's videos about these subjects.

About the temptation to play video games...Check out Leo's last video.And think and understand that video games won't make you fulfilled.Can't really help you on that,I am not having or had such a problem.Maybe some affirmations would work?

Schoolwork...Well,I am not really motivated either to do schoolwork lol.But in my case is because of anhedonia(a type of depression,this is with what I am struggling).Realize that if you don't study you'll have no job,and therefore you won't be able to self-actualize and you will end up being miserable.You are not depressed as I,right?(hopefully you are not).If not,you can still find pleasure in things.Who knows?Maybe you will find pleasure in doing math exercises,coding,writing etc.I see that you are from Germany,be happy dude..your school system is awesome,I would with to have such a system in my country(I am from Romania,our school system peers with the african one).You don't have to endure what we are going trough.

Well,I don't really know how helpfull I am,but talking to somebody about your problems really helps.If you don't find somebody else that can guide you better than me,I am willing to continue this conversation.