How can one detach from attachments while living by them?

[Pouya]

How can I do a lot of self inquiry and self honesty while always ompeting and comparing myself with others?

I don't like to study. I don't want it but I need it. Competing and comparing is very motivating for studying and makes me study hard. Because when I actually give a shit about how my friends are doing better, i don't want to fall behind and I try to become better.

Meanwhile the enlightenment work and the practices are the opposite. They make me detach. How can I do both? It seems like I cannot detach from myself and study hard to become successful at the same time.

And I know that if i stop the enlightenment work and become successful, I'll eventually come back and start over with this, because success won't make me happy.

1. A fulfilling happy life but being a faliure and losing my oppurtunities.
2. Or being successful and being praised but a unfulfilling life with suffering.

[Pouya]

It feels like a classic blue pill/red pill thing.

And it doesn't seem like it has a middle way.

Like doing hard drugs and working out for healthy body. Can one do both at the same time?

[Pouya]

Also the thing is I see a lot of potential in me to grow spiritually.

As soon as I do the practices and get traction with them I get great results. So a year would be very enough to grow a bit and have great realizations.

Intuitively it seems like it will hurt my life in the future.

Edited April 28, 2019 by Pouya

[Marinador]

Concentration and hatred of the false. Attachments are only emotional energy

[Truth Addict]

@Pouya

2 hours ago, Pouya said:

I don't like to study. I don't want it but I need it.

That's ego.

Question it, there lies the answer.

If you question that deeply enough, you will eventually become able to enjoy studying without even needing to do it.