Help need with expressing an "insight"

[Swagala]

I don't have a great vocabulary or use of them at the moment so, I'm having trouble wording out or correctly expressing what I'm trying to express.

Btw, If anyone has the vocabulary in English or in any other language for "the ability to 'precisely' express/word out what they're trying to say or an idea in their mind", I will much appreciate it.

So anyways, on to the insight that I'm trying to express into words correctly.

Self-discipline: the ability to control one's feelings and overcome one's weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it.

When we come across a dilemma that can break our self-discipline, what is really going on there? We made the duality of "discipline" and "something that breaks that discipline," or "temptations". We believe that there's an actual opposing force to discipline. You're always, always disciplined but you have this belief that there's something that can break it. It's sort of like self sabotage. The belief that there's this actual thing that can break your discipline is like the starting of a snowball effect or like the straw that breaks the camel's back. It's the thing (the belief of temptations) that gives the existence or possibility or opens the gate to actually breaking that discipline.

I can see the absurdness of asking other people to word out (better than I attempted) an idea that I couldn't even correctly do myself. But, I'm hoping there's people who do get it and can better express and articulate the idea.

For better context, I will share my situation. I've been trying to fast again (longest I've done was 6 days with no food, just water) but I give into temptations and excuses a lot. I began to contemplate on what's really happening, get to the core of the problem. I got the understanding that I had this, I guess, limiting belief that discipline is breakable. It's like believing in lack. There's actually no such thing as lack, you just believe that there is lack. There's not really such thing that "breaks" discipline, you just believe that there is. So then, you believe that giving into temptations is like, normal. So, it's easier for you to choose to give in because now, it's like you've conjured up this second choice of not being "self-disciplined".

Edited April 28, 2019 by Swagala

[RichardY]

@Swagala Self-discipline is Satanic, it's not transcendent. Asceticism is not discipline.

Discipline. As expressed in "Daoism",  "The Art of War" or the Bible(not read all of it). Is not satanic.

[cetus]

@Swagala

33 minutes ago, Swagala said:

For better context, I will share my situation. I've been trying to fast again (longest I've done was 6 days with no food, just water) but I give into temptations and excuses a lot.

@Swagala For what reason are you fasting? As part of a spiritual practice? Weight loss? Both?

[Swagala]

22 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

@Swagala

@Swagala For what reason are you fasting? As part of a spiritual practice? Weight loss? Both?

Both

[cetus]

24 minutes ago, Swagala said:

Both

@Swagala Here's something from Leo regarding one aspect of it.

 

[Swagala]

@cetus56 thank you