Feeling embarrassed to return :') but i want to let go and be that which i am

[Aakash]

since i left i've actually had such a lot of growth! that i decided that its time to completely drop my beliefs. so i came back having started the letting go process  

I've learnt about self- acceptance, unconditional love, that all "perceptions" are EQUALLY as bullshit and truthful simultaneously EVEN spiritual beliefs 

that change is letting go of your perspective you hold and being able to accept another perspective as equally truthful 

I've learnt that acceptance is love! and to accept reality as it is and not with my need for my ego to manipulate reality to be any different 

THAT includes myself 

not needing to need muscles, to pick up women 

not needing to have events go in any other way than they are 

not needing my parents to think about me in any way specifically 

its like in my subconscious i'm trying to mind control them to specifically think of me in a certain way! i couldn't believe how sneaky i am 

but in truth i should actually love the fact and accept that maybe they think i'm crazy lol 

but instead of me trying to manipulate their perspection 

the reality is i should leave it up to them to take responsibility for their reality 

alot of the times we project reality onto others almost instantly and not recognise that things are always perfect as they are 

but the biggest thing i have learnt is 

THAT I AM PERFECT 

I AM PERFECT EXACTLY THE WAY I AM, 

AND SO ARE YOU 

i don't want either of us to be any different to how we are,

I don't want the world to be any different to how it already is 

why? because instead of rejecting it and trying to manipulate it from my own perspective 

i'm only here to love it as it is exactly as it is poverty, homelessness, rape, murder, terrorism , racism, are only concepts of the minds by peoples beliefs, although they might be seeing things as good and bad! they aren't wrong but only relatively, you have to accept their viewpoint and transcend it to realise everything is perfect, everything is love and everything is ultimately you 

But i'm stuck on my contemplation 

I AM PERFECT 

HOWEVER, am i perfect whilst i have an ego or am i perfect when i don't have an ego ? 

my answer is i am perfect when i am able to love, because as an ego you still carry beliefs that are unable to let you love reality exactly as it, you always want change whether its to yourself or reality... "i want to become more sprititual", "i want to meditate more" , "i want to find true love" it never ends, any desire you have is an inability to self accept yourself completely and accept the present moment

i managed to go on a self-discovery process and realise the reason i want to become enlightened, i want to become enlightened because i want to be able to accept anything and everything and love it, love is my why.  

[Forestluv]

Welcome back friend ♥️ 

Sometimes it’s nice to take a break.

Thanks for sharing your contemplations with us ? 

[mandyjw]

You're always perfect. Welcome back. 

[Aakash]

@Serotoninluv @mandyjw  thanks !! its so hard to accept that your perfect  

how do you guys do it ! 

[SoonHei]

@Aakash just dont feel embarassed to return

 

know that it is what must happen 

and if what's happening must happen, then it is according to plan

 

kinda like rupert spira...

after stumbling upon spirituality. he thought that his love for art/painting/glass work etc is something he has to let go of... until he finally understood it

and then it was like oh, i dont have to let it go and all

 

same with you

dont think when you are enlighted or whatever. you no longer need to come or not come to the forum

 

there are no rules!

dont bind yourself in a cage and restrict yourself for no reason

 

you are free

so be free and roam the internet or not

 

[Aakash]

@SoonHei  yeah i was so in the moment, i deluded myself into think it was over, actually its ironic it came at the best time, after i learnt my beliefs were only beliefs so it did happen perfectly. 

yeah i will leave it an open book! thanks! 

 

 

[mandyjw]

16 minutes ago, Aakash said:

@Serotoninluv @mandyjw  thanks !! its so hard to accept that your perfect  

how do you guys do it ! 

We are Will Ferrell in the "more cowbell" sketch. We screw everything up and make everyone mad, but we're an integral part of the joke so it's all perfection. 

[SoonHei]

2 minutes ago, Aakash said:

yeah i will leave it an open book! thanks! 

 Bless 

[Aakash]

@mandyjw lol i watched that , its so funny ... so your telling me you can accept your self as an ego is as perfect as yourself as an enlightened person and there's no difference 

 

[Forestluv]

I would say the cowbell has value and isn’t “bad”, yet too much of it can be distracting. For example, if I am exploring and developing deep aspects of intuitive and empathetic abilities - the cowbell is distracting. I find it helpful to set it down for a while.

[mandyjw]

@Aakash "Jesus said, "If one who knows the all still feels a personal deficiency, he is completely deficient."

 

[Aakash]

@Serotoninluv Good you got my point, see my way of thinking is the cowbell can only ever be distracting when you think it is... nothing needs to be really changed and therefore that is self acceptance but the paradox is you can only really be self accepting when you give up the cowbell ring. 

but to be completely self accepting you have to transcend the idea of the cowbell being seperate to the band and therefore the cowbell and the band exsist together in perfect synchronicity likewise it is also possible to say the band can be much better without the cowbell noise which is also transcendental. 

so my question to you is, you know your perfect 

so are you perfect when the cowbell is ringing , or the cowbell is not ringing 

 

[Aakash]

@mandyjw i don't follow, i'm not sure i can interpret it correctly as you mean it. if one who knows god still feels personally deficient , he is completely deficient meaning if i don't accept my ego as perfect, i will be completely difficient forever

[mandyjw]

@Aakash @Serotoninluv

Hear the cowbell?

This is the for real recording. With cowbell. 

Don't fear the cowbell. 

[mandyjw]

1 minute ago, Aakash said:

@mandyjw i don't follow, i'm not sure i can interpret it correctly as you mean it. if one who knows god still feels personally deficient , he is completely deficient meaning if i don't accept my ego as perfect, i will be completely difficient forever

When you focus on a deficiency, you ARE that. When you focus on what is whole you ARE that. 

[Aakash]

@mandyjw i see, finally where does changing of your deficiencies come into it, leo always talking about changing yourself to live your best possible life, but if its also whole then what the need to change it? 

change is apart of life, so how does change and you being perfect relate?

[Forestluv]

@Aakash Sure. Now is perfect. It is perfect ISness. It is what it is. 

There is also movement within the construct of a timeline. For example, one time I was about to enter a sensory deprivation tank, I realized I had to pee really bad. I thought that having to pee really badly for 90min in the tank would be distracting and if I went into a deep state of consciousness, I might actually pee in the tank and not realize it. So I went to the restroom and relieved myself. While in the tank, I wasn’t distracted by needing to pee. This made it easier for my mind-body to relax and enter deeper states of consciousness. 

If I entered the tank needing to pee and unconsciously peed, is everything “perfect”? Well, in the absolute sense of what IS Now, yes. Yet c’mon it’s a distraction. Why put oneself in that situation? Just use the restroom and pee for goodness sake.

Similarly, at times the the overthinking cowbell is distracting . My mind-body functions best with a small amount of cowbell. Perhaps 1-5% of my beingness. It’s easy to get immersed into 95% cowbell and the song doesn’t sound so great. It’s not an “all or nothing” thing for me. It’s a question of degree. My mind-bidy has discovered it really likes playing other instruments like the guitar, drums and saxophone. The problem with the cowbell guy is he wants all the solos and wants all the music revolving around him. Is that song still “perfect”? Well yea, in a certain context, Yet it also sounds like crap in another context, Who wants to be in a band with 95% cowbell and noone else gets to play and develop their skills?

[mandyjw]

@Aakash Focus on what you want not on what you don't want. If you feel like you're not organized, focus on a part of your life that is organized and glean lessons from that about how you can organize the rest. Whenever i would focus on losing weight, i would obsess over food and eat too much. If I instead found that i really enjoyed going running I'd lose weight without thinking. Spiritual development is the same principal. 

[Forestluv]

@mandyjw It’s not all or nothing. What if the cowbell in that song drowned out the other instruments and the song was 95% clanging cowbell? It would sound very different. The cowbell is less than 5% of the totality of that song. It is relatively subtle and integrated and supportive to the other instruments.

[mandyjw]

3 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

@mandyjw It’s not all or nothing. What if the cowbell in that song drowned out the other instruments and the song was 95% clanging cowbell? It would sound very different. The cowbell is less than 5% of the totality of that song. It is relatively subtle and integrated and supportive to the other instruments.

It's all about balance, harmony and working together. It's not about cowbell or no cowbell. It's about just the right amount of cowbell in every moment. 

Edited April 26, 2019 by mandyjw