Second Vipassana Report

[Vinnie]

@MsNobody Why did you get Maori tattoo's? I'm Maori.  

[MsNobody]

@Salvijus It seems like your vision of women is very limited because you probably have your image about how a woman should behave, it's like Leo always says, God is not only beautiful things, its also war, suffering and all the bad stuff, you can consider my way of expressing myself as weird, and 4 years ago when I was repressed by my culture and by abusive men's figures I would pretty much agree with you, with time I learned how to not be ashamed of my body and my curves, to be proud of being a woman in a society where the patriarchy has been in power for thousands of years, now I see my body as a temple and sacred, you talk a lot about the feminine energy being very inclusive and receptive, about it embracing all things around them, are you embracing your feminine side? Are you using of that inclusiveness you talk about to embrace all things and all forms o expression of the universe around you? To have love and compassion to all forms of expressions besides the ones you consider as right?

I let go of the thought that women should behave in a certain way 3 years ago, it's been a process of cleaning myself from ideologies and social conditioning, I have a lot of masculine energy within me and this masculine energy gave me "balls" to face many men and even better gave me the freedom to express myself in an authentic way, this is key, I'm a very romantic person, I haven't had sex for a while, I believe in love, am very delicate, I cry a lot am very empathetic person, I'm very loving with all people around me, in my daily life I don't walk around naked, people respect me, I love reading and meditation, that's why I just wrote a report about my second Vipassana, if I was merely showing off I would get money out of it, trust me, I would be a stripper or become an instagram influencer, not judging who does that (some women do a great job) but I consider myself to be a smart person so if at some point I decide to use my body in the way you see it I would at least make money out of it  

Also I'm glad you disagree with my POV part of doing what I do is exactly to fuck the mind of people who think my art is promiscuous, ugly, weird, wrong. There are people who see the beauty and artistic value of it, and there are people who see whatever they have within them, which most of the time is repressed feelings and emotions. I feel lucky to have strong men around me who lift me up instead of judging and criticizing, like someone said in one of the posts above, this is a forum with high consciousness people, who do not see the expression os a woman's body as idiocy, who don't see sex as "animal compulsive behavior", don't see a naked body as just a piece of meat and bones or as dirty. They mastered their mind and don't just get a boner seeing my pictures, they see my art not just as nakedness or sexual arousal. On the contrary, I've seen many beautiful posts of men describing their women or their relationship, of using sex for connection and even for enlightenment (that's he case of tantra)

Anyways, all those words in bold I copied from your previous posts, and I will just live one of my favorite quotes here for you.

“ People do not seem to realize their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character “

And also Osho quote on sex:

If I Say Anything About Sex, Immediately They Jump Upon It

“Sex is raw energy. It has to be transformed, and through transformation there is transcendence. Rather than transforming it, religions have been repressing it. And if you repress it the natural outcome is a perverted human being. He becomes obsessed with sex.

“The people who call me ‘sex guru’ are obsessed with sex. I have not talked about sex more than I have talked about meditation, love, God, prayer, but nobody seems to be interested in God, love, meditation, prayer. If I say anything about sex, immediately they jump upon it.

“Out of my three hundred books only one book concerns sex, and that, too, not in its totality. The name of the book is From Sex to Superconsciousness. Just the beginning of it is concerned with sex; as you go deeper in understanding it moves towards superconsciousness, towards samadhi. Now that is the book which has reached to millions of people. It is a strange phenomenon: my other books have not reached to so many people. There is not a single Hindu, Jaina saint, mahatma in India who has not read it. It has been discussed criticized, analyzed, commented upon in every possible way. Many books have been written against it – as if that is the only book I have written!

“Why so much emphasis? People are obsessed particularly the religious people are obsessed. This label of ‘sex guru’ comes from religious people.”

 

[MsNobody]

@Vinnie Oh I've never met a Maori! Where do you live? I'm fascinated with the Maori's art and culture.

I got it 3 years ago in a trip to Brazil.

 

 

 

[Aeris]

On 26/04/2019 at 9:22 AM, MsNobody said:

And here the style of pictures I will be taking, I'm so excited!

 

 

the things I would do

nice pictures and art work  

Edited April 27, 2019 by Aeris

[Salvijus]

If you value truth you will see what i wrote from a totally different angle. Right now you made like 100 misinterpretions of what i sayed. If you want to delude yourself there's no one on earth that can save you.

[MsNobody]

@noselfnofun @Barna Thank you for your beautiful words and for having the capability of grasping my essence, like Matt Kahn says, you can only meet someone as deep as you ha've met yourself.

Namaste ??

@kieranperez Wow first of all congratulations for getting off of meds, it's so hard! I'm so glad you like the way I see ADHD, I trained myself to see it in a different way, we are the way we are, it's the universe expressing itself in different forms, we can call it flawed but if it's there, it's not a mistake, I feel like the ADHD came along with my awakening, the less domesticated by society I became the more the symptoms increased, our brains work differently, and it takes more time for us to get "trained" again, if that's a disease I'm fine with it, also I can't pay attention to things that do not interest me, but something I'm passionate about I will spend a night awake just to know more about the subject. 

Try to see it this way too, I always see you here in the forum, you are always posting interesting stuff and is working hard to build yourself up, by your posts it seems like you have a lot of energy, I'm also a little hyperactive, but if I focus that energy in my passions and life purpose I get in a really nice flow state, and many things interest me, it's a matter of how to use this energy, don't get trapped in labels, in the last 5 months I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety (real doctors diagnosed me) and I know I have ADHD, but whatever, they've put all those labels, Im not taking any medication, just meditation and my life had never been better, I just did the Vipassana, am figuring out my life purpose, love the friends I have around me, if I had listened to those doctors I would be on antidepressants and my life would have taken a tooootal left turn, I had to recreate myself, It's been a process of three years since I left Brazil, the religion, dogmas, ideologies, of cleaning up, letting go of things, I didn't know who I was, I had to create my space, and let go of all the labels given to me, like Baldwin sad "The place which I will fit will not exist until I make it" or Anis Nin "I could not live in any of the worlds offered to me — the world of my parents, the world of war, the world of politics. I had to create a world of my own, like a climate, a country, an atmosphere in which I could breathe, reign, and recreate myself when destroyed by living. That, I believe, is the reason for every work of art.” Build and rebuild yourself over and over again, or like Leo/ Rumi says be melting snow, wash yourself of yourself.

We are not sick, we are the "normal" ones, the ones adapted and content with our currently reality are the mediocre ones, they are not up, not down, right in the middle where nothing exciting happens, doing what society wants them to do, following what others around them are doing, so don't listen to what people say, just go within you, and see that we are all different, and the labels are created to separate and put us into boxes, it's like a bunch of colored pencils spread around and they want you to be in the same color as others so they will put you in the right box. I love the quote from Jiddu Krishnamurti "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Don't forget that, you are on your way to be healthier (mind and body), so you will be considered crazier, weirder and sicker by normal people, another quote I love "When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind" from Lewis, insanity is the new sanity , your body and mind and yours and only you know how they function, that's why we do meditation to go within. Aldous Huxley also knew this: “The real hopeless victims of mental illness are to be found among those who appear to be most normal. "Many of them are normal because they are so well adjusted to our mode of existence, because their human voice has been silenced so early in their lives, that they do not even struggle or suffer or develop symptoms as the neurotic does." They are normal not in what may be called the absolute sense of the word; they are normal only in relation to a profoundly abnormal society. Their perfect adjustment to that abnormal society is a measure of their mental sickness. These millions of abnormally normal people, living without fuss in a society to which, if they were fully human beings, they ought not to be adjusted.”

In other words fuck ADHD and all the other labels given to us to make us feel smaller. 

Here are some stuff you might like:

 

 

[MsNobody]

@Salvijus I'm open to discussion, what are the parts I misinterpreted it? I'm very passionate about this subject and am not taking it personal, I respect if you don't appreciate my art or the way I express myself, but also I would like to understand why you think it's just corpses and animal instinct? 

And I love the word weird actually, I can't complain, it's only because of people like you, who disagree with me that I'm able to change myself and have more perspectives on life. Embracing the differences makes us grow, not much looking for the sameness

[Salvijus]

Well for starters i never sayed your art is weird. I only sayed your definition or ideas about feminine is weird and i tried to comment about how feminine quality has nothing to do with bodies or amount of clothes someone wears. I think I did a pretty good job in explaining that.

Second. I sayed be careful not to label being errotic with devine feminine. These are different things. A feminine is a very conscious devotion and willingness to include and a sense of offering. Errotism is more compulsive, closer to animal nature then sage nature. It's not giving yourself, it's selling yourself it's a subtle difference that many people confuse.

What else.. i have 98 to go..

2 hours ago, MsNobody said:

I feel lucky to have strong men around me who lift me up instead of judging and criticizing, like someone said in one of the posts above, this is a forum with high consciousness people, who do not see the expression os a woman's body as idiocy

I'd be careful about these people. The only men capable of looking beyond the surface when they see a a naked body are very few. And i don't think you have sage friends. 

We have very strong animalistic tendencies. Once we see a naked body, to see beyond the surface into the essence becomes very hard. I'm willing to bet all those people who say that it's super artistic and feminine and sacred secreatly are have very different thoughts, very primitive thoughts..

2 hours ago, MsNobody said:

They mastered their mind

I'm telling you... They didn't it takes sage levels to actually be able to see beyond your sexual drive. Because it's so dominant in our lives, people spend their whole lives living around this compulsion... 90% of the songs and movies are just about sex appiel. They call it romance, sacred relationships.. but it's just a compulsive sex drive.

 

1 hour ago, MsNobody said:

why you think it's just corpses

2 hours ago, MsNobody said:

don't see a naked body as just a piece of meat and bones

Well you have to accept this sooner or later. It is just a surface. The only reason why body is important is because there's something precious inside the body. If you remove that life force inside a body becomes meaningless. Just bone and meat.

A chest is only valuable if there's treasure inside, if the chest is empty, it's a worthless box. The same with the body, it's just a vessel of meat and bones glorified to the hevens. People are missing the whole point of what devine feminine is. It not about the box it's about the treasure. It's about your absolute involvment and all permeating love that is devine not the body. 

 

I gave an example of a corpse just to make you see that body without life is nothing. It was meant to show you that if you remove the essence a body is not beautiful in any way. It's just a corpse or a big meatbag. There's nothing appielling about the body in itself if the core essence is not there. That's what people should focus and emphezise more. Not the bodies.

Okey... this should do it. Either way I'm just repeating myself what I sayed earlier. This is really not that hard to understand. And this was in no way intended against nudity or your art or anything like that. Everything i wrote was with good intentions because you asked me to elaborate on what I think in the beginning, just some unnecessary conflict and missunderstandings happened.

 

 

 

Edited April 27, 2019 by Salvijus

[kieranperez]

2 hours ago, MsNobody said:

can't pay attention to things that do not interest me, but something I'm passionate about I will spend a night awake just to know more about the subject. 

I laughed when I read this because this has me written all over it LOL. If I’m not into it I’m not engaged at all and I’m totally checked out. I’m the most stubborn person in the world if I’m absolutely not passionate about it. And when I’m engaged it’s like I’m manic because all I’m doing is that and studying it. This has been my whole life since I was like 1 year old. When I enjoyed being on the swings, I literally was on the swing 4-5 hours a day. Then once I exhausted that I went to basketball and that was my obsession. Then running. So on and so on. It’s especially hard when it comes down to picking and deciding on a life purpose because I’m passionate about spirituality, I’m passionate about mastering running and running myself to the ground on the track, going up and down mountains, etc. and Life Purpose is like “you can only do this thing” and inside I’m like tossing and turning and I’m like “noooo!” It’s like telling Leonardo da Vinci he can only paint (who is VERY ADD/ADHD like). So this seems like a problem and for me personally I have a hard time reconciling it. That’s why I’m attracted to people like Peter Ralston and da Vinci because they literally went across so many different domains. 

One of the things you hit on which I want to empahsize because I’ve found this true for me is the importance of friends who not only support this but fuel this. Personally this is the thing I’m really missing. It’s not even a personality ego thing. It’s more of an energy thing I feed off of AMAZING when I have it. I personally am not SUPER social. I’ve never been a social butterfly at all. I’m like Frodo in Lord of the Rings with a Samwise. It’s kinda like that. Having that friend who helps feed that really helps. 

You sound like you’re making great progress in your own journey! Love your art! Checked out your Life Coach page and the IG link and you got some great stuff on there. I have a lot of friends who do similar art work and it’s really helped them channel their newfound self-acceptance and creativity into a beautiful outlet. 

@Salvijus dude when are you going to drop this stupid nondual keyboard warrior stuff? 

Yes on the one hand there’s nothing special about a human body because guess what? Everything is special. There’s nothing invaluable about a human body. This notion that a woman can’t embracw her body or a man can’t is just you bastardizing nondual truth to suit your own egoic beliefs. 

Not everybody needs to become this masterful sage and you ducking Sadhgurus cock on this issue doesn’t make you above anyone. Sages aren’t above anyone and the reason they’re often humbling is because they live that despite their high degree of understanding, consciousness, and self-mastery. 

Theres nothing wrong with sex and a man or woman embracing theirs if they’ve spent a good portion being in the closet with others and themselves with it. Your “understanding” is mayopic. 

Do you understand you’re that same animal? I guarantee that if you were the very same sage you preach about others being you wouldn’t be on here wasting as much time and spend more of your time actually transcending this stuff. So don’t act like you’re above this. 

[kieranperez]

2 hours ago, MsNobody said:

 

 

Just watched. This fucking AWESOME

[Forestluv]

59 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

I'm willing to bet all those people who say that it's super artistic and feminine and sacred secretly are have very different thoughts, very primitive thoughts..

I'm telling you... They didn't it takes sage levels to actually be able to see beyond your sexual drive. Because it's so dominant in our lives, people spend their whole lives living around this compulsion... 90% of the songs and movies are just about sex appiel. They call it romance, sacred relationships.. but it's just a compulsive sex drive.

You are missing out on something really special. . . 

[Vinnie]

@MsNobody New Zealand. Stand Proud Girl. Kia Kaha.

 

Edited April 28, 2019 by Vinnie

[Nahm]

@MsNobody Amazing. I am so happy for you! Congrats. Expression really needed a spotlight, exactly like this. So well done. Your a great writer btw. Really balanced and enjoyable to read. 

[ivory]

On 4/26/2019 at 0:03 AM, MsNobody said:

I also see attention deficit as a blessing, it's because of ADHD that I was a wild child, that I had problems listening to others, listening to their ideologie

Preach sister! Just curious, were you ever diagnosed with ADHD? I always thought I had it but never got diagnosed. I still find it difficult to stay tuned in on conversations.

[Salvijus]

6 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

You are missing out on something really special. . . 

You also. Unless you're enlightened. Are you sex harmones are not influincing your experience? Are you saying if you went into a a strip club for 24h and all the fantazies would be giggling in front of you, you would remain absolutely untouched by it, absolutely uneffected and equanimous withouth a single sex craving? Don't kid yourself.... You're just like every other man unless you're a sage. Only a sage can really see reality uneffected not distorted by his animal nature. Of course different levels of consciousness has different ability to see the essence and ignore the surface. But still being naked and wanting to express the quality of feminine.... Huge fail... 95% people will completly miss the essence and see only then surface then pretend that what they feel is feminine art beauty when in fact all that they feel is just arousal. Or like most poeple 10%beauty, 90% arousal. It can depend on your level of consciousness.

Don't kid yourself that you're beyond those things...

@kieranperez everything i sayed was logical and sensible and you don't have to hate me for that. Nor was I attacking anyone in any way. Please... Every post I'm trying to clarify I'm not against anything here why am I a bad guy here? Because I make sense? Are you that uncomfortable with hearing that feminine has nothing to do with a body nor does body hold any value apart from being a vessel for the being? If you get so pissed of with just simple things which are true, say what you want, you can't deny it, then you really have to look at this.... I think you have some kind of personal problem with me  

This is not nondual worrior talk. It's very practical stuff. This can change your art completly. This understanding that you're fooling yourself when you make naked errotic art and call it devine feminine if you understand it's not. Can you imagine the implications? It can change so much for so much better. And it should happen. Sooner or later you have to realize what you're doing is not devine in any way, it's superficial. Nothing wrong with superficial. Again im not against superficial. Everything has it's place in the world. But if you call superficial as devine... You're just deluding yourself and it's bad for your growth in many ways. Those who celebrate superficial will never dig deep into essence.

Please don't say just this is nonsense nondual stuff. It's very practical and useful.

 

 

 

Edited April 28, 2019 by Salvijus

[kieranperez]

@Salvijus me calling you on your shit doesn’t mean I have any emotional invesetment. I don’t play coy and I don’t play games where I have to caress nonsense. I’m belittling your “understanding”. Not you. I don’t know anything about you and you know nothing about me so don’t pretend to. If you confuse me belittling small minded ideas as me making a personal attack on you, that just goes to show just how attached you are to your ideas.

[Salvijus]

@kieranperez why are you belittleling my understanding if it's true and it makes sense and it's practical and it's logical? 

Is really that stupid to say that body has nothing to do with feminine? Feminine dosn't depend on how much clothes you have? Feminine is a quality not body parts? that's basicly only thing that I've sayed. Other things were just different ways to show that. 

Edited April 28, 2019 by Salvijus

[MsNobody]

@Salvijus Because logical and practical are all traits of a very predominantly masculine mind, you see the world the way it is today, capitalism, environmental destruction, a lot of men like you in the power, functioning only though the level of the mind where everything is about taking actions, fast, efficient, logical, rational, everything needs to make sense, things are black and white, right or wrong, clean or dirty, beautiful and ugly.

While the feminine is about receiving, feeling through the heart, having kindness and compassion, embracing all beings, it's about feeling, being empathetic, meeting people where they are at, not judging or criticizing, not labeling things, accepting what it is, the male mind always needs to understand, always in the mind, the feminine energy is about loving, and to love something you don't need to understand, you just love. 

Don't try to understand me, I myself don't understand how I work, I just try to be honest with the energy I receive in my body, if I was like one of the women from the pictures you sent I would not be able to be happy because it wouldn't feel authentic, and I value authenticity a lot. 

You are missing being in touch with your feminine side and you are repressing the emotions, the energy of sex and is the one of creation, if it wasn't sex you would not be here now.

Also you should try nofap if you are really feeling all those sensations when you approach women, I have many male friends and they are all very wise and are not taken away by a woman's body because they've mastered their minds, I love the quote from Bukowski:

"Any asshole can chase a skirt, art takes discipline." 

I don't even approach men who are just interested in sex, if the people around you are like you described above lI will repeat what my therapist always says "you should visit other churches"  I strongly believe like attracts like

 

 

Edited April 28, 2019 by MsNobody

[MsNobody]

@Nahm Oh Nahm, the retreat was a waterfall of washing off my old self from my soul, so my new self could come to life  I love those phoenix moments! I'm glad you liked it, I try to be very honest with my words. 

@Vinnie New Zealand, that's amazing! and beautiful video thanks for sharing.  Do you have a big one too?

@ivory Maybe around 5 years ago, by a therapist I went once, she recommended me ate a psychiatrist and I just stopped seeing her because I knew psychiatrist are not good, my mom used to take meds like rivotril to sleep and she was always depressed so since young I hate medicines, all of them, with the exclusion of psychedelics, plants are my favorite, along with mushrooms. 

And only you know if you have, you can look it up pages about it on google, and watch those videos I posted above. My theory is that everyone has it, but in different levels.

 

Edited April 28, 2019 by MsNobody

[MsNobody]

@kieranperez oh friends are such an important part, if the people around you are not on the same level it's gonna bring you down, my heart hurts because I don't have contact with my family (I talk to them maybe 4 times a month) but it was one of the things that had a big impact in my life. Many friends are from the forum, I have three people from here that I talk to, two of them I know in person. If you want to be big put big fishes around you, if you want to get smaller swim with the little ones, they will suck you until you become same size as them, misery likes company, and I strongly believe you are the 5 people you hang out with, once you don't let people who put you down surround you, then you will thrive. I was also very extroverted but it's been changing, I'm becoming more and more introverted, if Im talking to more than three people at the same time I start feeling anxiety, I think I'm becoming more sensitive too, it took me a year for the right people to approach me, it's like they were waiting me be still so then they would come, there is a book from Vipassana called the moon appears when the water is still, so just do the work and have faith that the universe works perfectly and knows what we need, if we need introversion let that be, if it's time to interact the right people will come. I suffered so much because of solitude, but it's such a blessing, I learned to enjoy my time by myself and learned so much about me, I learned not to resist what is coming, the moment I relaxed things started changing, when I gave up then it came, when I din't want friends anymore, then there they were. Life is a bitch.. 

γνῶθι σεαυτόν

The Greek aphorism may have been adopted from Ancient Egypt: there are two parts of the ancient Luxor Temple, the External Temple, where the beginners were allowed to enter and the Internal Temple where a person was only allowed to enter after proven worthy and ready to acquire more knowledge and insights. One of the proverbs of the External Temple is "The body is the house of God." In the Internal Temple, one of the many proverbs is "Man, know thyself, and you are going to know the gods".

Once you turn your gaze inward, “fix it there and keep it busy”, Advises Montaigne.

“Everyone looks in front of him; as for me, I look inside of me; I have no business but with myself; I continually observe myself, I take stock of myself, I taste myself… I roll about in myself.”

I reached rock bottom 5 months ago, and this was super important, I decided I needed radical changes, so after I hit the ground I got up and have been following my intuition since then, I moved into a new apartment and both of my roommates are on the path to enlightenment, the energy in the house is very peaceful and calm, one is a Yogananda devotee and the other practices Vipassana,  it's like I landed here on a parachute  I was lucky, my energy levels lifted up so much, I had an insight one day when I woke up and the insight was that I needed to be close to the water, I'm pisces so it makes total sense, on that same day I found this perfect place, we set up a meeting and 15 min talking she says: you can move whenever you want, also I feel like I needed to work on my feminine side and spending time in nature is key for balancing this energy, being close to the water or at the beach really heals me. I also had a mushroom trip where I was told to go closer to nature and to connect with water.

Edited April 28, 2019 by MsNobody