Friendships and self-actualization

[Jj13]

This has been a recurring theme in my life lately. I have been talking to my mother (green, little yellow) who is really open to discussing everything I come up with. She has observed that I am starting to isolate myself more and more from my friends and social life.

As I'm going deeper into consciousness work and self-actualization, I have less topics to discuss with my buddies. I really love them, but they just cannot relate to me anymore, and the conversations are getting repetitive - me talking about yoga or whatever against an orange/green paradigm. All that is left is goofing around and having fun. Which I'm not against, but it's not nearly as fulfilling as when I'm by myself strolling through the park and watching trees.

So I'm naturally inclined to separate myself from the social affairs. My mother tells me that I'm isolating myself and that she is scared for me. 

My question is specific and general:

Do you have any advice for me? How to handle my friendships, and also how to meet new folks with similar interest (which is rare, especially at my age, 17)? Is this isolation bad for my growth and development as a person? Am I missing something here?

What is friendship? More and more I'm starting to feel that it's just an exchange of value, fun and love. Not much to it. I'd like to have a person that I could walk the path of self-actualization with. How does friendship relate to self-actualization? How does friendship relate to spirituality?

Thanks

 

[mandyjw]

Don't hold back. Talk about the things that you are discovering and truly passionate about with your friends. Even if you don't think they are ready. They almost always surprise you. Often we don't really show our friends who we truly are because we are afraid of losing them. And then we lose them for that very reason. 

[LastThursday]

All relationships and friendships are about two things. Survival, and more importantly Love. 

Everything in existence deserves your love equally (including yourself).

Friendships are just a manifestation of that love you have to give. Every friendship is the removal of an artificial separation that you've created and that's why it makes you feel good. Deep down you really want to be whole and not separate. Look for wholeness and love and you can't go far wrong. 

Friendships are very spiritual.

 

[kindayellow]

I really appreciate you posting this and I can relate (I'm also of a similar age). I started self actualisation properly last June, but was aware of it late 2017 but got distracted by a relationship. Around July, I cut ties with my friend group, one of the people in the group was my absolute best friend for a number of years and up until that point, we had a very strong genuine bond, but along the way we both became very materialistic, trying to up our social status, and I got to a point where I reconsidered everything in my life and just gradually pulled away from all that stuff, which left me and him to not be close, we also had an issue over money around that time. Point is, I have no proper friends, there's people I like, but I've not been social at all for a number of months, and my mum was worried about me not socializing, and due to this forum, I was opened to the idea of friendships still being a viable option and that it's sometimes good spiritually to just go out and chat with a buddy over dinner, so I did, and it felt good, even though we talked about pretty surface level stuff but nevertheless I enjoyed it. 

 

Its great you still love your friends, and I'd agree with others encouraging you to try and make deeper, stronger relationships with them in a way you want to, where you talk about deep topics, personally if they didn't give a shit or thought it was dumb or tried to drag you down or whatever, then I'd strongly consider just removing yourself from them, you don't have to dislike or hate people to cut ties, sometimes you have to seem like a dick to others to do what is truly best

[Arcangelo]

Self-actualization and cutting people out of your life go hand in hand.

[dinone]

On 4/24/2019 at 1:23 PM, Jj13 said:

Is this isolation bad for my growth and development as a person?

Depends. But at your age generally, friendships are most important.

[nistake]

I was in the same shoes a while ago. I thought my friends hindered my 'spiritual progress' and I believed they only cared about silly material things. After some time, I realized that friendships were really important, especially when you're still young and sort of carefree. So, I learned to accept them as they are (not in a degrading sense) and I try to appriciate their perspectives on certain things. Moreover, spiritual progress and having fun with friends once in a while are not mutually exclusive (of course I'm not talking about hardcore enlightenment pursuing). Keep your good habits, meditate everyday and have fun with your friends, don't neglect them.

[Jj13]

Thanks for the answers guys