10 gr dry shroom trip and need some help

[James123]

Hello everyone. Last Saturday around 12 am i ate 10 gr dry shrooms with fresh lemon juice. The shrooms affects started to come up so rapidly and i started to feel complete emptiness, which is coming towards me. It was a total complete infinite emptiness than got in my body and i became complete nothing (felt like james was just a habit), i was just nothing no mean whatsoever NOTHING. At that time i was looking myself (everything looked the same but i felt like i am seeing myself on everything), breathing myself, talking to myself walking on myself and nowhere to go run away from myself, which is full emptiness. It started to talk to me, but i felt like i was talking to myself, givind advise and knowledge to myself about it(real me). After that i got a feeling that i have never felt that real, which is it is just so alone, everything is it, it iseven scared of its own self (because of how powerful it is). It is just so alone thats why emptiness create us to lie itself that its not alone. And that infinite loneliness felt like too heavy that could broke my molecules into billion of pieces, and I was talking to it (Myself), saying (human body cant handle this thats why i created ego in the body(whick mean is felt like we will see it either when the body dies or our ego or fault self mentally dies (because rule of the world body cannot function without a brain). It started to teach me like a father (teaching morality) that how become a better person as a ego. Knowledge s were going to my empty self with billion of light years speed and felt like the existence of ego world is based on satisfaction. We create us to just satisfy ourself because we are too alone and all powerful that we cheat ourself that we are not alone. Around 3:15 am it was gone within me, however between 5 am to 2 pm , i was a super concisnouss human (completely same body but different mind and person that have different ability and habits) such as i could communicate with my energy, heal myself, but it was so scary that if i dont concentrate, life was too much, fast and busy for me. I was saying that by 10 pm if my old personality wont come back, i will leave my house, job, and go somewhere very quiet and slow. However, around 3 pm (15 hours later taking shrooms) my ordinary consciousness came back but not completely. When i talk sometimes i feel like i am barking or it has no mean whatsoever, feeling alone and emptiness in me, me ego and god side is too sharp (any of them can come up so quickly but i can feel the compelete differences between each other), wakinf up 4 am every morning, knowing and living that i am nothing, when my ego came back, i was feeling major emotional trauma for couple hours(because my ego was killed billion times and being nothing is so scary and beatiful. Because of that my daily emotions were destroyed, and i thought that they will never come back). It felt i was in the hell for years. Additionally, i got a insight that destiniy is real but at the same time it is so fare and honest it gives itself right to make a choice in this life too. I started to get too many dejavus (at least 6 a day and feel that emptiness sometimes makes me feel completely alone or happy. How can i manage this situation? Does anyone experienced these side affects after psychedelic trip?  Additionally, i am under medication of 1000 mg keppra (heard that keppra enchance brain activity). Thanks everyone. 

[Nahm]

@James123 What a trip. 

1 hour ago, James123 said:

How can i manage this situation?

You created life, now create a life. And relax. And Love. 

You can’t get anything wrong.

 

[OctagonOctopus]

Once you realize who you really are there is nothing left to do but let go, flow, and create.  Take time to sit and reflect on what you have experienced, don't make any big changes yet. Homeostasis will kick in, then its up to you to decide what you want to do with what you have learned. Much love to you!

[Shaun]

To clarify, does this mean that you James123 are god or you infinite consciousness is god?

[Nahm]

@James123  also, I remember wishing I had somebody I could have talked openly with about the breakthrough.  Just to maybe sort out psychology, the emotion, the actuality,  embrace the pararox, etc. Ever want to chat hit me up.  And if you haven’t before, check out abraham hicks on YouTube. Best psychology available. 

[James123]

@Shaun we are just nothing, ifnite nothingness, it is not real or unreal, just nothing. Beyond the meaning of the word of nothing, it is even before the word of nothing. It has no name, but its you and you are it. 

Edited April 24, 2019 by James123

[Shaun]

3 hours ago, James123 said:

@Shaun we are just nothing, ifnite nothingness, it is not real or unreal, just nothing. Beyond the meaning of the word of nothing, it is even before the word of nothing. It has no name, but its you and you are it. 

Is it like Rupert Spiras screen analogy where each of us are just appearances on the screen but have no actual separate existence as conventionally believed by materialists?

[James123]

@Shaun No. It feels like, you are in the complete black hole that you cant even see your body and stayed there billion of years. After that you forgot that you have a body that emptiness and you become one, which is emptiness again. Its just so big nothing has a place in there just you, which is endless and beginless existence. Or just close your eyes concentrate do you feel something that you cant see or touch but you feel it, it looks nothing but you feel it, multiply that feeling with billions, it completely takes over you and your concsinousness leaves this body and be ifnite emptiness(nothing is left within you). But the crazy part is when you (not this me) realize this , you understand that there is no word to explain this, because words restrick meaning of this. Its like real and unreal is exist and not exist at the same time. Like you are exist as nothing but nothingness cant be exist. I cant really describe it. Its empty but infinitly heavy and now itself. That felt like final stage, bottom or ground. 

Edited April 24, 2019 by James123

[zeroISinfinity]

Wow I had this experience during meditation I felt asleep and there was nothing total blackness without anything but ai was aware of it. I was so fucking sad I Just wanted anything to exist. Then I woke up and life was Just empty but returned to 'regular self' Just in few minutes. Didn't felt I had any powers I was Just really sad. 

Edited April 24, 2019 by zeroISinfinity

[Shaun]

If consciousness gets lonely and wants to create, that must mean it has a ego and thus suffers.

[James123]

@Shaun Of course, its everything it suffers at the deepest level and enjoys at the deepest (or infinite) level. Because of its nothing, it can be anything such as god (all powerful), evil or a looser anything you can imagene. But all the meanings are the same. I could be anything that i concentrate at that moment. It does a have ego and at the same time it created the ego. Otherwise it cant find himself. The ego that has been created by it, which is you as a human and me now. 

Edited April 24, 2019 by James123