Caught between feeling sorry for people and laughing

[EmptyInside]

The struggle is real. When I see people stuck in "paralysis by analysis", my first instinct is to feel bad for them. I know what it feels like. It's a trap that I could fall back into at any time. I know they have to go through it to get further along. Still, it's painful to watch if I allow myself to view it through that lens. I saw this quote recently and it hit me right in the soul: "Empathy without boundaries is self destruction." Is it not? I have learned this lesson pretty well at my job. Feeling sorry for people does not help them and it hurts me, and I'm working with many who are stuck in learned helplessness mode. Some aren't, but many are. Others are low functioning on a cognitive level. The irony is that many who are high functioning on a cognitive level are just as stuck, if not more so. And to be honest, not all of those who are low functioning cognitively are what I would consider stuck. Some are blissfully ignorant and maybe that's not such a bad thing. Intellect can be an Achilles heel. I preach simplicity, but am I always practicing what I preach? No. I have a very analytical mind. But I do find that my most peaceful and blissful moments are those when I have simplified my thinking. It's a total paradox because simplifying is an incredibly complex process especially for those of us whose minds love to churn away at infinite possibilities. Pumping the brakes is essential for me. It's a balance. A very delicate balance, but one in which the less I think about it, the easier it flows. So I laugh. Not in a condescending or cruel way, but in a "Wow, that's what I looked like?" kind of way. Arguing and debating. The need to "be right". Thinking I was better, smarter, and more "enlightened" than everyone else. Absolutely certain of my views/beliefs while hurling condescending comments about how open-minded I was and how I had transcended my ego at anyone who disagreed with whatever I said. Lol. 

[Consilience]

I love this perspective. Also Im happy you’re finding your balance ?

[Truth Addict]

@EmptyInside

Feel sorry for yourself first and foremost, so that you avoid delusion.

I understand that you have made a huge progress, but notice the ego trying to claim it.

Let go of who you were, who you were is a fantasy.

(advice is for myself too).

❤️

[EmptyInside]

@Consilience ❤️

@Truth Addict ❤️

[Flatworld Crusades]

On 23 April 2019 at 11:34 AM, EmptyInside said:

The struggle is real. When I see people stuck in "paralysis by analysis", my first instinct is to feel bad for them. I know what it feels like. It's a trap that I could fall back into at any time. I know they have to go through it to get further along. Still, it's painful to watch if I allow myself to view it through that lens. I saw this quote recently and it hit me right in the soul: "Empathy without boundaries is self destruction." Is it not? I have learned this lesson pretty well at my job. Feeling sorry for people does not help them and it hurts me, and I'm working with many who are stuck in learned helplessness mode. Some aren't, but many are. Others are low functioning on a cognitive level. The irony is that many who are high functioning on a cognitive level are just as stuck, if not more so. And to be honest, not all of those who are low functioning cognitively are what I would consider stuck. Some are blissfully ignorant and maybe that's not such a bad thing. Intellect can be an Achilles heel. I preach simplicity, but am I always practicing what I preach? No. I have a very analytical mind. But I do find that my most peaceful and blissful moments are those when I have simplified my thinking. It's a total paradox because simplifying is an incredibly complex process especially for those of us whose minds love to churn away at infinite possibilities. Pumping the brakes is essential for me. It's a balance. A very delicate balance, but one in which the less I think about it, the easier it flows. So I laugh. Not in a condescending or cruel way, but in a "Wow, that's what I looked like?" kind of way. Arguing and debating. The need to "be right". Thinking I was better, smarter, and more "enlightened" than everyone else. Absolutely certain of my views/beliefs while hurling condescending comments about how open-minded I was and how I had transcended my ego at anyone who disagreed with whatever I said. Lol. 

this is really interesting. I do a lot of writing and I have rules around for example, if I'm on a rant I take 5 and re read  it before I delete the words. It can be so very difficult to explain these sorts of situations without sounding condescending, at least a little. I find that when we sit and write our words get a roll on and we aren't as connected to our consciousness than at other times. Writing is a different conversational style to speaking. I have had to change the style of my writing and one of my rules is if it could be interepreted as negative/insulting don't write it.