OCD/ treatment

[Athemnajar]

Hey, I am suffering from OCD. Psychiatrist and psychologists say I have emotional baggage of my mom's death. They say I have to cry it out. But I can't. Anxiety is at its peak. I try to meditate also but that doesn't work much at this stage. Any advice besides psychiatrist treatment? 

[Athemnajar]

I am on medication for 4 years. I am currently suffering an OCD relapse after improvement.

[Inliytened1]

@Athemnajar have you tried Benzos or other meds?

Self awareness of when the obsessive thoughts appear, identifying them, and then dismissing them as synthetic thoughts is a good technique.

OCD is self deception on steroids.  You have to constantly go meta on it but the more you do this technique the better you will get.

Same with any emotions the thoughts cause..such as guilt.  None of it is real and its all illusion.

I've had Pure O for years but now i just lump it with self deception that everyone has..we just have it worse.

See Leo's series on Self Deception as well.

Edited April 30, 2019 by Inliytened1

[Buba]

What is your OCD theme?

[Inliytened1]

@Buba immoral thoughts and/or  thoughts of doing something completely irrational  was the bulk of it (what was interesting is a lot if was what my own subconscious considers immoral.

[Buba]

And what are your compulsions? 

[Inliytened1]

@Buba Pure O means there are no physical compulsions.  There is only mental compulsions and that for me is going Meta and repeating to myself in mind that this is OCD.  Until it passes.

And yourself?

[Buba]

13 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

@Buba Pure O means there are no physical compulsions.  There is only mental compulsions and that for me is going Meta and repeating to myself in mind that this is OCD.  Until it passes.

And yourself?

I dont know my OCD theme clearly.  I have  a mission in my mind which I should accomplish. Until I do it I am incomplete, less a person, unworthy, and life is not right. And it is so real, gives me a sense that it is not OCD, but what I really want. It is my life mission. It sometimes changes to something else. For example last year it changed to "enlightenment obsession". "I have to attain enlightenment, otherwise I always be unhappy, incomplete and etc".

And I often sink in my mind to prove my brain that these desires are absurd and should not make me unhappy. But I guess I decreased the amount of reassurance I get from my mind. But then I feel depersonalization, meaninglessness and etc.

Edited May 1, 2019 by Buba

[Nahm]

@Buba It will always be now. Repeat that when you think happiness could be in the future. It will always be now. Let go. 

Also, cry it out. Embrace all of now. Embrace your sensations. Let it out. 

[Buba]

3 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Buba It will always be now. Repeat that when you think happiness could be in the future. It will always be now. Let go. 

Also, cry it out. Embrace all of now. Embrace your sensations. Let it out. 

Thank you, Nahm. I am trying to do it and it leads to Existential Crisis 

[Nahm]

@Buba Fear from avoidance of emotions. Just emotions. You’ll be fine. Suffering has a way of becoming willingness to practice. 

[Buba]

48 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Buba Fear from avoidance of emotions. Just emotions. You’ll be fine. Suffering has a way of becoming willingness to practice. 

Being in the now, meditation induces fear, depression, sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind. I dont understand anything. But I still do it, because I have trust. Sometimes Existential Crisis is so severe that paralyzes me. I take step back for some time. Then restart being in the now process.  I dont understand anything. My body says stop, my mind says stop, my parents and friends say stop, people on internet say stop, but I trust in few people who say go on. I dont know what I will see and if I will be able to handle what I will see.

[Nahm]

@Buba You’ll just be sitting, experiencing emotions / sensations. Just sit and practice. Write out on paper what you’re feeling. 

 

 

From not knowing who we truly are, thinking builds a false set of beliefs about the self, in the spirit of protection. This limits our emotional connectivity to our source. 

As we go through life with this limited connection, misunderstandings compile. 

When someone or a situation brings this to light, the protective mechanisms are deployed - but unconsciously (we actually aren’t aware of what we’re doing and why). 

As we continue in the ignorance of who we really are, we practice (unconsciously) ignore-ance of the very emotions which are not actually suppressable. 

In misunderstanding our own emotions, and avoiding & suppressing them, we create what is referred to as, fear. 

This is actually not an easy task to keep up, so we thinking weaves in the past to justify the avoidance and we call this sensation anxiety.

Thinking also weaves in the future to justify this veil, and we call this sensation depression. 

Neither fear nor depression are actual. They are misunderstanding we actually create ourselves. (The sensations are actual. What thinking says about it is not actual. Or, not pain, but rather, suffering)

 

[Buba]

38 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Buba You’ll just be sitting, experiencing emotions / sensations. Just sit and practice. Write out on paper what you’re feeling. 

 

 

From not knowing who we truly are, thinking builds a false set of beliefs about the self, in the spirit of protection. This limits our emotional connectivity to our source. 

As we go through life with this limited connection, misunderstandings compile. 

When someone or a situation brings this to light, the protective mechanisms are deployed - but unconsciously (we actually aren’t aware of what we’re doing and why). 

As we continue in the ignorance of who we really are, we practice (unconsciously) ignore-ance of the very emotions which are not actually suppressable. 

In misunderstanding our own emotions, and avoiding & suppressing them, we create what is referred to as, fear. 

This is actually not an easy task to keep up, so we thinking weaves in the past to justify the avoidance and we call this sensation anxiety.

Thinking also weaves in the future to justify this veil, and we call this sensation depression. 

Neither fear nor depression are actual. They are misunderstanding we actually create ourselves. (The sensations are actual. What thinking says about it is not actual. Or, not pain, but rather, suffering)

 

Thank you, Nahm. I am reading Daniel Ingram's book. He says making effort to see three characteristics of sensations, including emotions. How can I make such an effort? I always only observe sensations.

[ajasatya]

@Athemnajar work with your body as well. emotions get stuck across the body and you certainly need some relaxation and body awareness practices. i can almost guarantee that you won't feel better just working inside your head and taking drugs.

c'mon, it's been 4 years. try something different.

[Nahm]

@Buba Write about them on paper. Directly, or just make up a simple story, in which the character is feeling these sensations. Also, if there is any other method of creativity that is easier for you, like drawing painting, writing a song about sensations, etc, do that.    Check out WinterKnight’s book too, imo. It’s very good and very clear and the writing about Metaphorization is right on. ?

[Richard Alpert]

Hi dude, i have experience with anxiety and ocd. Im mostly pretty good nowadays, but there Still comes harsh days.

My recommendations are very simple:

- dont use stimulants or alcohol

- sleep well, early to bed early to up

- try to have a clean diet and take care of your gut

- exercise at least 30min a day, it doesnt have to be hard training. yoga is great for example. Spent time in the nature.

-try to limit screen time

- if you have time, meditate 1-2h a day. this tends to calm the mind. 1-2h a day might work better than 30min, no quarantees though

-dont have too much free time where you start ruminating and over thinking

[Nahm]

@Richard Alpert ♥️

[Inliytened1]

@Richard Alpert all good advice

As Nahm pointed out being in the now..present moment..quieting the mind is the key.