Help having Mystical Experiences on LSD

[Wisebaxter]

Ok so I've tripped 6 times now, my highest dose being 300ug, and still haven't experienced ego death, at least in the way it's been described to me by others. I've felt a profound sense of connection with reality, experienced the fact that 'being' is all there is and felt an intense love for everything, a stronger love than I've ever felt in my life. It's been life changing in many ways and always blows me away. I've had really deep insights from a psychological point of view and also about the nature of existence, the fact that it's so playful, stuff like that. But I've still felt my ego present throughout. 

I have to admit I do find it a little hard to stay focused on existential inquiry, asking 'Who am I?' etc. I just start having insights about my life flowing out of me and get excited and distracted by those, along with music of course lol. 

Leo mentioned that doing inquiry whilst tripping is important, so perhaps next time I should really focus on that. I kind of assumed that ego death would just happen without it. 

At the beginning of a couple of the trips I started feeling a bit panicky, like I couldn't breath properly, and I felt incredibly tired, like I just wanted to sleep more than anything else in the world, but it was unpleasant and scary so I fought it. I felt like I might die if I fell asleep. Could this have been the beginning of something? 

Makes me think I still have too much fear in me. I do suffer from anxiety quite badly. I haven't really got my life situation sorted either. I have a few hang ups and neurosis that still dominate my conscousness quite a lot. Stage Orange stuff around needing success and recognition. I need to get the lower levels of Maslow's triangle sorted too, basic security stuff. My finances suck. So there's a lot that I still haven't let go of or got handled I suppose. 

So what do you guys think? More basic personal development needed? I have been a bit of a lightweight with my meditation, self inquiry, contemplation. Only meditated solidly every day for a few months and never for massive sessions. Around 30mins. I always get confused as to what type of meditation is best too, for enlightenment.

Or just maybe just let go more during the trips? Leo mentioned the body load being heavy on LSD. I definately agree. I feel so physically blissful that this distracts me a bit. And those visuals...man, just seeing those feels mystical to me. So beautiful, like nothing I've ever seen. It's like God is putting on a show for me. Or I am, for myself. I have to admit it's felt pretty mystical at times but my damn ego just won't budge haha. 

Or maybe now's the type to switch over to mushrooms. I still haven't tried those. Or just go full steam ahead with some 5-MeO DMT. 

Edited April 19, 2019 by Wisebaxter

[Robi Steel]

This doesnt sound that bad tbh. I personally never needed more than 250uq of LSD to experience the ultimate depths of the journey, but this depends on your spiritual "sensitivity". Sometimes you just feel ripe and ready to take a huge insight or change in your life, your intuition will tell you when a psychedelic is most effective. 

As for during the trip, if you really want to tap into the infinite space that is always there, focus on letting go and let the psychedelic "un"ground all of your attachments to reality. Question that youre human, question your perception, question physicality, question life. Try ripping of more and more layers of your humanity and pushing forward single-mindedly towards nothing. Push yourself to the utmost space of emptiness and present moment. 

I had the same feeling during one trip; I thought I might not wake up tomorrow if I lay down in my bed. Dont fool yourself, most people who talk about ego death on psychedelics were not even close to the meaning of that word. Anyways, I wasnt even aware that this was the thing I was supposed to do; lay down and *actually* die. I was so ready to die and it just came out of me. I was completely ok with the fact of being found dead tomorrow in my apartment. The moment I accepted my death *actually", the magic started to happen. I was reborn. 

Whenever you think; "ego death sounds nice but what if I actually died" "what if this thing right here actually ends". Follow that thought, dont kid yourself. Youre looking for actual death, not ego death. So next time when it feels like that the LSD actually wants to kill you, let it happen. A test of true love is letting go of this universe. actually. only then god will gift you with the sacred truth. And there is gonna be no doubt in your mind: death is not real. And thats the best truth to have discovered

[TheAvatarState]

You're still a newbie, no need to rush to ego death yet. They come more naturally as you get used to the substance and learn and integrate. An actual ego death experience on Lsd right now might be traumatizing, so I wouldn't advise going above 300ug. Of course you can if you want to...The idea of you WILL die at 500ug+. But PLEASE have a trip sitter if you do, because you won't be able to control the experience. Safe travels my friend! 

[outlandish]

I don't know if LSD is really the best tool for the job of ego death. I'd definitely say 5-MeO-DMT is the ultimate ego-solvent.

I've never had a full on ego-death experience on LSD. Lots of ego softenings, divine inspiration, endless precious insights into the nature of reality, society, ecology, self, music, art, etc etc... but it's only ever hinted towards the direction of total transcendence for me. Even on 400ug, I've only really orbited around the periphery of that quintessential mystical experience. OTOH I've definitely met a lot of people who've had that, so who knows. I think @TheAvatarState is correct that if you can handle a high enough dose, it probably goes there more readily, but there are so many side effects like ultra trippy visuals at that point, that it could be very distracting and confusing even. And it lasts so long, it could be very exhausting to trip that hard for 10-12h.

LSD is a powerhouse Self Actualization tool.

5-MeO-DMT is the direct line to the mystical core.

I'm not saying 5-MeO-DMT is superior, it's not like that. It's just that it does that job more precisely than any other substance I've encountered.

[Leo Gura]

LSD can definitely produce ego-death. At 125ug I get it basically every time.

Every substance I've tried has produced ego-death for me at some point.

Of course your results may vary.

5-MeO-DMT is definitely the best for it. It's like pure ego-death in powdered form.

[Shakazulu]

@Leo Gura what's the most LSD you've consumed? 

[Leo Gura]

@Shakazulu Around 150ug.

You have to take into account that I am extremely sensitive to any psychedelic. More so than most people.

Every trip for me is an epic breakthrough.

[Anton_Pierre]

@Leo Gura Is this sensitivity due to the amount of meditation that you've done?

13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Shakazulu Around 150ug.

You have to take into account that I am extremely sensitive to any psychedelic. More so than most people.

Every trip for me is an epic breakthrough.

 

[9]

Increase the dose by 50ug until you get it.

Last time it took 400ug for my ego to completely dissolve.

If you decide to try the higher doses, use the sitter unless you are very familiar with lsd space.

There's definitely correlation between being conscious and sensitivity to psychedelics. For example, 10ug on vipassanana retreat hits me stronger than 50ug when I was using cannabis daily.

Good luck

 

 

[Wisebaxter]

On 19/04/2019 at 4:06 PM, Robi Steel said:

This doesnt sound that bad tbh. I personally never needed more than 250uq of LSD to experience the ultimate depths of the journey, but this depends on your spiritual "sensitivity". Sometimes you just feel ripe and ready to take a huge insight or change in your life, your intuition will tell you when a psychedelic is most effective. 

As for during the trip, if you really want to tap into the infinite space that is always there, focus on letting go and let the psychedelic "un"ground all of your attachments to reality. Question that youre human, question your perception, question physicality, question life. Try ripping of more and more layers of your humanity and pushing forward single-mindedly towards nothing. Push yourself to the utmost space of emptiness and present moment. 

I had the same feeling during one trip; I thought I might not wake up tomorrow if I lay down in my bed. Dont fool yourself, most people who talk about ego death on psychedelics were not even close to the meaning of that word. Anyways, I wasnt even aware that this was the thing I was supposed to do; lay down and *actually* die. I was so ready to die and it just came out of me. I was completely ok with the fact of being found dead tomorrow in my apartment. The moment I accepted my death *actually", the magic started to happen. I was reborn. 

Whenever you think; "ego death sounds nice but what if I actually died" "what if this thing right here actually ends". Follow that thought, dont kid yourself. Youre looking for actual death, not ego death. So next time when it feels like that the LSD actually wants to kill you, let it happen. A test of true love is letting go of this universe. actually. only then god will gift you with the sacred truth. And there is gonna be no doubt in your mind: death is not real. And thats the best truth to have discovered

@Robi Steel This was really helpful man, thank you. I had a feeling it might be something along these lines but I was avoiding it haha. I was hoping for a nice, clean ego death with no actual sacrifice or effort needed To be honest I didn't even know what it really meant, but now I do thanks do you. This will be the way forward for me then. Complete surrender.  

I have a weird thing in the library where my eyes just intuitively land on books that have messages for me in the title, or on the back of the book. I know it sounds crazy, but some of the messages have been uncanny, especially one I had whilst tripping once. I was feeling some anxiety about something to do with my health, nothing major, I was just being paranoid as usual, when my eyes just fixated on a book. The title was 'Hope to Die.' I picked it up and as the authors name was Alex 'something' (Alex is my name) it read 'Hope to Die Alex' as the authors name was under the title lol. So the universe was saying to me, the thing you're worrying about, is the thing you should be hoping for. It completely calmed my nerves. 

Another time whilst coming up on acid I had vivid images of the police searching around the house as I'd been found there dead. But weirdly, I felt ok with it. It seemed so natural. Then I was at my funeral and it was all fine. But I suddenly started to panic as the images got really dark and disturbing and I had to distract myself with something lol. I should have probably gone deeper into all of this though as I was obviously been helped to deal with stuff in a way that I myself would never have thought to try. 

[Wisebaxter]

4 hours ago, DrMobius said:

You'd be hard-pressed to encounter real ego death on LSD. Most people that talk about ego death on LSD don't know what real ego death means. It's not a concept, it's not a feeling. @Robi Steel pretty much nailed it: ego death is the actual death of you, and everything that it implies.

I've tried a dozen different psychedelics, most of the time at heavy doses, and still I only had one ego death. On 5-MeO-DMT.

@DrMobius Did you have to accept you were actually going to die before you died? Or were you just pulled into it?

[Wisebaxter]

On 19/04/2019 at 4:32 PM, TheAvatarState said:

You're still a newbie, no need to rush to ego death yet. They come more naturally as you get used to the substance and learn and integrate. An actual ego death experience on Lsd right now might be traumatizing, so I wouldn't advise going above 300ug. Of course you can if you want to...The idea of you WILL die at 500ug+. But PLEASE have a trip sitter if you do, because you won't be able to control the experience. Safe travels my friend! 

@TheAvatarState I'd struggle to find a trip sitter as I'm a one man wolf pack and don't socialise much at the moment  Maybe if I did it in a hotel I could call the front desk if things got crazy. Or ask them to check in on me as I'm doing a dangerous type of yoga or something where I dislocate my joints. I have no idea what to do a about a sitter. I'm probably gonna have to use 5-MeO DMT to avoid that risk at the moment. Although I felt quite with it on 300ug. Would another 200ug really get me that out of it to the point where I lose touch with reality? I have to say the difference between 200ug and 300ug was pretty insane. 

Edited April 22, 2019 by Wisebaxter

[Leo Gura]

6 hours ago, Anton_Pierre said:

@Leo Gura Is this sensitivity due to the amount of meditation that you've done?

It's hard to say.

I think it's a combination of: genetics, my philosphical mind, years of contemplating deep philosophical matters, my relentless curiosity about nature, my relative lack of emotional obstacles, my good heart, my emotional maturity, self inquiry, and my past breakthroughs on 5-MeO-DMT.

Meditation does not feel like it was an important factor for me with respect to tripping.

[TheAvatarState]

1 hour ago, Wisebaxter said:

Although I felt quite with it on 300ug. Would another 200ug really get me that out of it to the point where I lose touch with reality? I have to say the difference between 200ug and 300ug was pretty insane. 

Yes, the effects are MULTIPLICATIVE, not additive. 300ug is way more than 2x stronger than 150ug. You know that through direct experience. And in my experience, the jump from 300 to 500 is like an order of magnitude higher. I know it's hard to imagine, but you just have to trust me that you can lose your mind on high doses, possibly causing harm to yourself. Yes it's a confirmed ticket to ego death, yes it's profound, but you must have a trip sitter. You're much better off just waiting for 5-meo.

[Leo Gura]

1 minute ago, TheAvatarState said:

Yes, the effects are MULTIPLICATIVE, not additive. 300ug is way more than 2x stronger than 150ug. You know that through direct experience. And in my experience, the jump from 300 to 500 is like an order of magnitude higher. I know it's hard to imagine

Very true

[TheAvatarState]

7 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

my past breakthroughs on 5-MeO-DMT.

Leo, I believe this is the main key. I have seen so many reports, including those from Martin Ball, that 5-meo radically changes all other psychedelic experiences moving forward. 

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, TheAvatarState said:

Leo, I believe this is the main key. I have seen so many reports, including those from Martin Ball, that 5-meo radically changes all other psychedelic experiences moving forward. 

Yes, it definitely does. But I was sensitive to psychedelics even before 5-MeO. 5-MeO just took my sensitivity through the roof.

There are many factors at work here.

[Wisebaxter]

On 20/04/2019 at 1:35 PM, 9 said:

Increase the dose by 50ug until you get it.

Last time it took 400ug for my ego to completely dissolve.

If you decide to try the higher doses, use the sitter unless you are very familiar with lsd space.

There's definitely correlation between being conscious and sensitivity to psychedelics. For example, 10ug on vipassanana retreat hits me stronger than 50ug when I was using cannabis daily.

Good luck

There's definitely correlation between being conscious and sensitivity to psychedelics. For example, 10ug on vipassanana retreat hits me stronger than 50ug when I was using cannabis daily.

Good luck

Unfortunately weed makes me more unconscious these days, has for a while but I still can't kick it fully. I'm not smoking it as much though. I find it hard to meditate on it as my mind is racing so much

Do you find it's a good aid then? I've had the best results with Modafinil in terms of consciousness stuff

[Shakazulu]

Has anyone here took 500ug of LSD? 

[Hellspeed]

Stop searching, and if you did not had ego death, how do you know what ego death is in the first place lol.