How to make a woman orgasm

[hikmatshiraliyev]

Man, i struggle with sex a lot. I ejaculate under 1 minute, and i can not make my gf orgasm. Her behavior changed towards me, now she is more reluctant and undesirous for sex. I feel very depressed, i don't wanna lose her for that reason, i am afraid of cheating as fuck. I have a trauma in the past about cheating. I feel very insecure about that.  Can you guys teach me some fingering techniques to use? I try to stimulate her g spot, but after a minute my hand starts to hurt, i can not maintain stimulation about 10 minutes. 

Waiting for replies. Thanks

[Spiral]

You could try to go down in her, it usually takes about 15 minutes to get a girl in a orgasmic state. Also applying sensory deprivation through teasing helps quite a lot. 

As for fingering, try keeping the finger locked touching the g spot and moving your hand. Perhaps that helps relive strain.

 

Edited April 19, 2019 by Spiral

[Hello from Russia]

Try to be in the flow and try to feel more into her just as you're one organism. Orgasm and sex are way more psychological rather than technical. It's mainly about creation of polarity between you and her. You want to be gentle and at the same time dominant. Sometimes you want to switch fully between being very dominant  and being very gentle.

Ideally, you want to be a man and show divine masculine qualities if you're familliar with that term (if not, watch Teal Swan on this and David Deida's material).You want to be very present and providing direction\acting first, leading her, yet at the same time being very caring and mindful of her state, being able to feel and fill her deeply within. The most important thing in sex and in a relationship with woman is cultivating her trust in you. When she trusts you deeply, it's way easier for her to orgasm and let go, surrendering to you, at the same time when the opposite happens, woman usually becomes closed and asexual. In fact, this is how connection is built and this is how women decide they want to be in a relationship with you\fuck you. When you're able to stay in this divine masculine state women want to fuck you nonstop, not just  your women, but other women too.  In order to cultivate trust you have to embody masculine qualities and  be authentic.

Also it is very important to understand that orgasm is about about reaching a peak state of arousal. Women orgasm when their arousal reach a certain level, you should build up to it and actually push to it. Just "platoe'ing" this stuff doesn't work, you need to escalate the sexual tencion

Although the mechanical techniques aren't that important, the advice here can be useful too. When you're inside of her, try to aim your dick into her belly, this way you stimulate G spot and some other spot in the deeper area of a vagina. Besides that, watch how you penetrate, you don't have to always do it though the whole motion, women tend to enjoy both shallow and deep thrusts and get aroused from both of them equally, when men get more aroused more from deep thrusts and not as much from shallow. Use it for your advantage! Iterate between doing deep full range of motion movements and shallow thrusts, it will make you last longer. Shallow thrusts can be deep aswell, though, and this is actually one of the most intimate\arousal thing I found. By shallow I mean that your range of motion is very small, you barely move your dick but you still apply pressure, tension and I wanna fuck you attitude. 

Of course, sometimes you want to not apply pressure that much and actually "rest" for a while inside of her letting you "cool off".  You need to do it from time to time to delay cumming. Also for delaying cumming watch what "PC" muscles are and train them everyday. These are kind of muscles that you use to stop taking a piss when you're pissing.

Watch Leo's video on fingering technique ("How to make a girl squirt"), though, don't rely on it too much or it will look like more like mutual masturbation rather than sex. His serie on sex is very good too

In general, don't try to be analytical or too conscious of yourself and try to conform to all your models and ideals about sex and how you should behave during it. Be in the flow more, be spontaneous, get out of your head. This is what, I think, will help you the most.

Think less, Feel more. 

I hope that helped 

Edited April 19, 2019 by Hello from Russia

[JohnnyBravo]

Sorry mate but even if you got your sexuality performance stuff handled, this bigger issue of being scared of her cheating on you is worth looking at.

If you sincerely suspect she is getting 'fed up' and she wont communicate this to you, you need to leave and respect yourself.

If you are so scared and nervous and confused about whether she will leave or not based on just sexual performance, then you need to let her go.

But if she is comfortable with you and this is purely just your own inner issue- that is cool to look at over time.

Honestly if it were as simple as just fixing a sexual issue then take a look at your diet and lifetstyle and stress levels.

If you girlfriend is making you feel stressed then leave.

[JohnnyBravo]

Actually she is with-holding sex from you, you noticed a change, and has she communicated this to you?

No?

That is abuse. Leave.

[Tom T]

im in now way really qualified to talk about this and give people advice but im studying how to do it as I am in a similar situation to you man.. im new to dating and sex and I suck pretty bad at sex but its cool tho because we can get wayyyyy better within the next 6 to 12 months if we practice/fail enough times and learn from our failures and also learn from good resources l!!! but anyway I have some sources to share with you that might be useful. 

 

Firstly for your fingers getting tired Id recommend setting a timer for 10 minutes daily for a few weeks and train yourself to do the come here motion for fingering her g spot so you can build up tolerance in your fingers for being able to do it for 10 mins etc. 

 

Secondly I have a really good video on how to stimulate her g spot using the come here motion. I only found it a few days ago and I realize I have been doing the technique wrong apparently you put your two fingers in with a slight bend (not straight) and when you Find her g spot you do a SLIGHT "come here" motion (the key word being slight) you might of already of knew that but I had no idea until the other day.

This video also shows you how to stimulate her citreous with your fingers to as well as fingering her g spot. id definitely recommend checking it out and taking some notes. 

 

 

Thirdly I have a web article on how do lick her citreous (it dose not say in the article but I think it's best if you lick side  to side but I'm not 100% sure).  But yeah this video shows you a way of licking her citreous.  I tried it once and it seemed to work unless she was faking the orgasm lol.  

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-give-girl-amazing-oral-sex-4-simple-steps 

thirdly I have leos how to make a girl squirt video which looks awesomeeee !!!

 

I also have some other resources that I have found that might be useful to you on your journey towards getting better at sex !!!

 

 

 

and also I have

a few note that might help you on your journey to !!!

"the next time you make love with your women feel through your own physical and emotional boundary's into her. Feel into her so deeply that you become unaware of yourself and totally aware of her. Feel yourself move into her, your boundary's dissolving so that you become her, utterly aware of her breath, her movements, her emotions. Love her with abandon than you've ever allowed yourself before. Feel through not only your own boundaries, but also her boundary's so that you are both dissolving in the immense force of your loving.  Relax into the force of love so completely x that only love remains. Allow this love to ravish your women to bursting, filling her heart and body beyond compacity so she has no choice but to surrender to the depth and force of your loving. With your relaxed and spontaneous body allow yourself to penetrate her so deeply that she is overwhelmed, to the point of tears, as you yield yourself, letting go of all fear, only giving love.In the midst of this self-yielding and giving love, allow your entire masculine desire to manifest, dark and light. Do and be everything you've ever wanted with her, in love, spontaneously, and with deep feeling into her and through her. From time to time, take special care to allow space for her energies and desires to take you to places you would never have gone on your own." David Deida 

 

Leo talks about this in his sex videos which is dirty talk. spend a few hours jotting down tuns of dirty stuff you could say to her during sex. 

 

also when you get good at having sex in the bedroom you could move on to having sex in different places such as restaurant bathrooms, on your kitchen table, in the cinema, in fitting rooms, on roof tops etc get creative with it !!!

 

so yeah, theres a tun of information here but it all jells well together. i hope it helps you  and remember failiour is the key to success !!! fail so many times you succeed !!! its abit painful and shit in the short term but after 6 months or 1 year youll be pro porn star level at sex if oyu practiced and failed enough times !!! Maybe find a new girl to have sex with if your girlfriend is reluctant to have sex? because if she never wants to have sex then you will have this problem for a long time and its also best to develop yourself into someone who has lots of options with the opposite sex then your fear of someone cheating on you may reduce significantly !!! anyway I hope this helps man and I wish you all the best of luck !!!  

[Tom T]

ohh and im not sure how to stop pre mature ejaculation but this girl also has a video on that here. it may help it may not help. I haven't had that problem so I haven't experimented with what she says in this video but see what she says and see if it works or not for your self  

 

[pluto]

If your mind is calm and present you won't need fingers at all. You need to change your focus in life in order for the reflection to change.