Is Hermitage Resistance?

[CroMagna]

Spiritual teachers like Leo may say that "what you resist persists," like how the Buddha said that "all suffering is caused by desire."  Well I have few desires but one of them is an overwhelming need to be a hermit.  I find leaving the house overwhelming.  I'm bombarded with intrusive, scary thoughts.  I find social situations boring, stressful, and totally unrewarding.

I know no one's perfect and I don't seek to be the Buddha, so I'm just wondering if the resistance to interaction will, while being a desire, only make the monkey mind worse?

Thanks.

[Salvijus]

I think it has more to do with being stuck in a comfort zone. "If I don't get into trouble that's good enough" i think this is your mentality right now

It's a different problem then desire.

Edited April 18, 2019 by Salvijus

[mandyjw]

I had a really long hermit phase. It came from the desire to be whole which is a beautiful thing and progress in itself. I felt close to whole when I was alone but absolutely torn apart in the company of other people. Other people brought/bring out my ego. Instead of suspecting myself I blamed and avoided other people. It will make monkey mind worse but try to push yourself in this area. Having a still mind feels wonderful but when you chose to experience monkey mind purposefully it can lead you to great realizations. Have compassion for yourself and don't push too hard too fast. Self love is love for others, it's all you.  You want to feel at home alone or around people. You want to experience yourself/everyone fully. 

Edited April 18, 2019 by mandyjw

[LastThursday]

1 hour ago, CroMagna said:

I find social situations boring, stressful, and totally unrewarding.

I've always had love for people, but have personally struggled socially. However, I have improved tremendously in the last ten years (I'm 46 fgs!), but it's still a work in progress.

I find the social niceties and norms hard to stick to or pointless - and my brain just isn't quick enough to keep up in a group conversation - so I find it difficult to join in. One to one situations are a lot easier for me. But I still feel like I have to 'perform' in front of other people.

And given a long day of being with other people I definitely need to find a cave somewhere and hide!

BUT. The number one thing that has allowed me to improve socially, is to cut off the monkey mind and BE PRESENT.  Learning to stop the monkey mind has literally taken me a decade of constant practice, but the effort has been worth it - I feel like a different person.

Social situations can be rewarding  and exciting - and unless you live in a hole in the ground in the middle of nowhere - you will need to interact with people to live life.

[Esoteric]

Going to work for me has been my most valuable spiritual practice. Sounds cliché and corny, but you can learn a lot about yourself in a low concious environment. I make mistakes, I find myself doing stupid ego shit, I learn, I grow.

[Moreira]

Stress and fear in soicial situations means that you have a overdeveloped survival instinc. In ancient times people lived in small groups or communities of 10-20 people. Like a big family. Interacting with other groups or tribes would be a big risk of being attacked or even killed by hostiles (see cannibalism). its perfectly normal your insctint, I've got it too. And trust me no matter how you force yourself to be social via cognitivive behavioral therapy (aka exposing yourself to these situations that stress you) if you stop socializing for some days youll return to your default state of scared in social situations (homeostasis).

Is not your fault that you have this nature, and showing an example: Penguins have wing but they cant fly by default. Should they keep their entire life trying to fly?