My GF thinks I'm selfish with my time

[Meditationdude]

And I agree with her...

But I can't figure out if I do it for purpose of self actualizing or if I truly am a selfish little devil? 

Self actualization and increasing consciousness is my top priority, and although this doesn't affect our relationship currently, at a certain point is it going to be possible to sustain? She's also into personal development and spirituality but not nearly at the level I am. 

Just to be clear, my GF wasn't arguing with me or saying this was a bad thing. She was actually just agreeing with me because this insight hit me just after my meditation today. 

[Aeris]

if she told me that I would use my time to fuck her more.

 

[DanTheLurker]

@Meditationdude You are being very vague.

How much time do you spend with her on a weekly basis? How long have you been seeing each other? Does she know your goals? Have you told her how much time you need for your purpose? Have you talked it out with her?

If you want help, help us help you first.

[SgtPepper]

strike a balance.

 

[Meditationdude]

@DanTheLurker we both run our businesses from home, so we are together almost always. We’ve been together almost 4 years, living together 3. We are extremely happy and love and respect each other deeply. 

Yup, she knows and fully supports my goals. Even to enlightenment should I be so lucky. We talk about our hero’s journey almost daily. She knows I want to reach levels of consciousness that are extremely rare. 

I don’t think I’ve specifically set a daily amount of time with her on how much I need to do my work. But she does know the process could take a decade or longer. 

 

[Recursoinominado]

You are growing apart, it is really common in relationships, she is afraid of losing you and being selfish herself.

Follow your path and find someone who wants to walk alongside with you, DO NOT COMPROMISE YOUR LIFE PURPOSE, find someone who is in synch with it. Enjoy until it lasts. 

[SgtPepper]

Grow together.

Relationships take work.

[Marinus]

Maybe it's more about quality than quantity. Of you are with her give her all your attention for x amount of time and be fully present. Do something new and refreshing once in a while to keep the spark alive. 

[Moreira]

Its a case of projection. Your GF has the wrong BS that being selfish is always bad. She represses selfishness. she see you being selfish and attacks you .

Edited April 18, 2019 by Moreira

[Commodent]

ITT: People who have only read the title

[Metody]

Every action in our life is selfish. Even you do something for others you do it for own purpose -> your values, believe system etc.

[Commodent]

@Metody I think that's overly reductionistic. You could just as well say that every action is selfless.

[DanTheLurker]

 

 

 

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On 4/16/2019 at 10:43 PM, Meditationdude said:

@DanTheLurker we both run our businesses from home, so we are together almost always. We’ve been together almost 4 years, living together 3. We are extremely happy and love and respect each other deeply. 

Yup, she knows and fully supports my goals. Even to enlightenment should I be so lucky. We talk about our hero’s journey almost daily. She knows I want to reach levels of consciousness that are extremely rare. 

I don’t think I’ve specifically set a daily amount of time with her on how much I need to do my work. But she does know the process could take a decade or longer. 

Well, at this point, having dates a few times a week should be enough. Also, you can pursue whatever you want to pursue while also keeping the relationship. But you have to prioritize. You can't be in massive expansion mode into all areas of your life at once. Pick a year for each one. Focus.

Building a business, doing massive inner work, changing your entire health habits, developing your relationship skills or growing into a relationship are too many on your plate. You can juggle one of them with a relationship, but not all at once. Which is why you have a 80-100 years long life.

Expand massively on one, then put it in maintenance mode and then go into expansion mode on another area.

Rinse and repeat.

You should be able to do this while still being attentive to your girlfriend. Just keep in mind that you will sacrifice speed (of growth). There's no way around it. Either be ok with it or drop the relationship.

It really boils down to what you want and how bad you want it.