100(ALMOST) Psychological Practices

[Arnold666]

Name

Taking in the Good

Purpose/Effects

Neuroscience shows that memory has a negative bias. It is much easier to remember the bad stuff that has happened to us than the good. This leads to needless suffering and a generally pessimistic outlook.

Taking in the Good allows us to focus on positive experiences and to let go of negative ones. It is not about putting a happy shiny face on things, nor is it about turning away from the hard things in life. But it is about nourishing a solid well-being, contentment, and peace inside that is a rock, a refuge, a home base you can always return to and come from.

The result of this is a gradual improvement in a general sense of wellbeing, as well as a reduction in the painfulness of negative memories.

Method

Turn positive facts into positive experiences.Actively look for good news, particularly the little stuff of daily life that’s all around: the faces of children, a sense of your own tenacity, the smell of an orange, a memory from a happy vacation, a minor success at work, and so on. Then, bring a mindful awareness to it, opening up to it, letting it affect you. It’s like preparing a meal: rather than just looking at it, dig in with a big spoon!

Savor the experience. It’s delicious! Make it last by keeping your attention on it for 5, 10, even 20 seconds. Try not to jump onto something else. Focus on the sensations and emotions of the experience. Let the experience be big and strongly felt, filling your body. For example, allow the feeling of being liked to bring warmth to your whole chest.

Pay particular attention to the rewarding aspects of the experience, like how fulfilling and cozy it feels to get a big hug from a child.

Imagine or feel that the experience is sinking deeply into your mind and body, like warm sun on a T-shirt, water into a sponge, or a jewel placed in your heart. Keep relaxing your body and absorbing the experience.

Healing. This is an option, extra step. Here you use positive experiences to soothe, balance, and even replace negative ones. When a negative memory or feeling arises, allow your positive experience (that you cultivated in the previous steps) arise at the same time. Hold these two experiences within yourself at the same time.

When two things are held in mind at the same time, they begin connecting with each other. That’s one reason why talking about hard things in a supportive relationship – with friends, or a teacher or therapist – is often so healing: painful material gets infused with the comfort, encouragement, and closeness you experience with the other person.

Over time, this has a strong healing effect on negative material.

History

This method was created by psychologist Rick Hanson.

Cautions

Getting the benefits of this method requires repeated practice over a long period of time. It is not so much a "quick fix," as a long term strategy for improving your wellbeing.

Notes

The longer that something is held in awareness and the more emotionally stimulating it is, the more neurons that fire and thus wire together, and the stronger the trace in memory (Lewis, 2005). While you’ve been savoring it, your amygdala has been busily highlighting its positive emotional meaning for your hippocampus, which packages the experience for storage in long-term memory.

Further, sometimes you might like to intensify the experience by deliberately enriching it. For example, if you are savoring something related to a relationship, intentionally calling up a strong feeling of being loved by others will help stimulate oxytocin and deepen the sense of relatedness.

Edited April 16, 2019 by Arnold666

[Arnold666]

Name

Taking in the Good. A Walking Meditation.

Purpose/Effects

To practice present awareness and achieve a happier state of being “in the moment.”

Method Summary

While walking, practice being in the here and now by noticing, pausing and taking in sights, sounds, aromas and textural sensations that please you.

Long Version

Take frequent walks. Regular walking is beneficial for body, mind and spirit.

Walk at whatever pace suits you and check in with the physical sensations of walking: the feel of your feet on the path, the flex of your legs and arms. Without effort, relax your upper body. Notice your breathing.

When you have established a comfortable rhythm start to become more aware of your surroundings. Experience where you are and what is in the vicinity – whether you are in the country or the city is not important.

As you stay in touch with your surroundings you will notice that certain details catch your eye (or nose or ears.) When one of these details elicits a pleasurable response, stop walking and take some breaths to take in and experience the positive feeling. This is called “taking in the good.” Encourage yourself to relish these moments, – as Rick says in Chapter 4 of “Buddha’s Brain”, “bring a mindful awareness to them — open up to them and let them affect you……….Savor the experience…………Make it last by staying with it for 5, 10, 20 seconds”

When you have given yourself enough time to notice all the inner sensations of a particular pleasurable occurrence, continue your walk until you encounter the next thing that calls up a positive response.

Most places are packed with “opportunities for positive response.” You don’t have to be in the middle of beautiful scenery or a well-tended garden, though these are certainly positive experiences. Opportunities aplenty exist on busy city streets – in well crafted building details, the playfulness of a puppy, the gurgle of rainwater falling into a catch-basin, the smile of a stranger on the path, the smell of coffee roasting, the crunch of new fallen snow. Keep looking and you will certainly find these opportunities.

Continue until you feel “full.”

Conclude the meditation by sitting quietly, being with yourself for at least five minutes.

History

This is a variation of a mindfulness walking meditation where the object of focus is the felt sense of pleasurable feelings. The story of its ‘spontaneous generation’ is told in detail here: http://bit.ly/ttziSN

Cautions

Obvious reasonable precautions about walking in safe areas are advised.

Edited April 16, 2019 by Arnold666

[Arnold666]

Name

Taking Other Viewpoints / Tunnel-Busting

Purpose/Effects

"Tunnel-busting" is the practice of shaking up one's "reality tunnel," another name for the set of viewpoints and conceptions we all hold deeply. By consciously and fully taking on the viewpoint (or reality tunnel) of another, we both develop an understanding of and compassion for that person's beliefs and foibles and allow ourselves to question the things we might take for granted as "truth." Tunnel-busting is a powerful tool for personal growth and enlightenment, for as we widen what we accept as part of reality, we break free of social imprinting and start to discover our true potential.

Method Summary

Adopt the viewpoint (or “reality tunnel”) of someone else as completely and fervently as possible. Now do so with that viewpoint’s polar opposite.

Long Version

All of these tunnel-busting exercises require that you behave like an actor: pretend until the pretense seems real. “Fake it ’til you make it.”

If you are a liberal/leftist, take some time and read through the National Review.  Try to get into their headspace for a few hours.  If you are a conservative/rightist, do the same with The Nation.  If you’re a libertarian, read the World Socialist Web Site; a Marxist, try Reason.  Do your best to take on the opposite political worldview with judgment or criticism, no matter how abhorrent you might find it.

If you are an atheistic scientific rationalist, read Fate Magazine and try to get into their headspace for a few hours.  If you’re a spiritually and holistically-inclined individual, do the same with the Skeptic’s Dictionary.  Once again, you must do this without any judgment or criticism–you are trying to “be” the opposite side for a little while.

Imagine that you are Reverend Jerry Falwell, a mullah in a theocratic Islamic nation, or another conservative religious moralist. Explain to an imaginary homosexual why his or her sexual orientation is sinful and must be changed, including instructions on changing it. Now, imagine that you are Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, or another fervently godless rationalist. Explain to an imaginary 60-year-old nun (preferably of an extremely charitably-inclined and humble order) why her religious devotion is idiotic and must be changed, including instructions on changing it.

Read an anthropological study about a tribal group different from your own culture. Compose your best serious argument for why your culture’s taboos are objectively more sensible than the taboos of the tribe. Now, do the same from the viewpoint of the tribe, as seriously as you can.

Imagine that you are a conspiracy theorist (you can pick your favorite conspiracy theory; some possibilities include One World Government/New World Order conspiracists, or the people who believe that most of the world’s leaders are actually evil reptilian aliens). Do your best to get into your conspiracy theorist’s headspace. Now, spend as much time as you can stomach watching 24-hour news channels in that frame of mind and look for all the evidence that each newscaster and talking head is either a conscious or unconscious dupe of the conspiracy.

Become a Nazi for half an hour. Believe that might makes right, and that some groups (specifically, yours) are destined to rule or crush other groups. Plan a campaign to take over the world by force and fraud. This exercise is extremely trying, for obvious reasons, but it tests the extent of your ability to reach beyond your own reality tunnel, even into something horrifying.

Become a pious, strict Roman Catholic and compose a serious argument for the Church and Pope’s infallibility and holiness, despite what you know of its history. If you are Catholic (or otherwise religious), compose an argument for why science holds the answer to every question in the universe.

Now that you have spent some time in the reality tunnels of others, come back to your own reality tunnel, whatever it may be or have been. Examine it fully. Does it seem as objectively truthful as it did before you started tunnel-busting? From now on, when you are confronted with new, strange, “stupid,” or “evil” belief systems, try taking on their viewpoints for at least a few hours.

History

Timothy Leary coined the term "reality tunnel" to describe the personal conception of truth/reality/the world unique to each person, as decided by his or her beliefs and experiences. Later, author Robert Anton Wilson used this concept in his books Prometheus Rising and Quantum Psychology and created a series of exercises intended to break people out of their personal reality tunnels and allow them to comprehend other viewpoints.

Notes

We think of constancy, dedication, commitment, and unwavering loyalty as good traits. This is natural; society depends on its members sticking to a path, making money, and producing offspring. Commitment to ideas can be incredibly noble. If you find yourself having a hard time accepting these exercises because they clash with your notions of the good--that is, having strongly-held beliefs--congratulations, you have discovered part of your personal reality tunnel! See if you can completely take on the viewpoint of someone like Leary or Wilson, believing that the mind's boundaries and comfort zones must be expanded for enlightenment.

If you want to take tunnel-busting exercises and their implications to the next level, we cannot recommend enough Robert Anton Wilson's Prometheus Rising and Quantum Psychology.

[bejapuskas]

Wow, thanks for the contribution! So these practices help you? I only do meditation and kriya yoga these days, not so much of these other things... so I am really curious  

[Arnold666]

Name

The Three Good Things (also known as "The Three Blessings")

Purpose/Effects

The Three Good Things exercise is intended to increase happiness and a sense of wellbeing.

It does this by a simple method of redirecting attention towards positive thoughts and away from negative thoughts. Human beings have evolved to spend much more time thinking about negative experiences than positive ones. We spend a lot of time thinking about what has gone wrong and how to fix it, or how to do it differently next time. In the past there may have been an evolutionary advantage to this way of thinking, since it seems to be innate. However, for modern humans this negative bias is the source of a lot of anxiety, depression, and general lack of wellbeing.

Luckily, by re-directing our thoughts on purpose towards positive events, we can do a lot to correct this negative bias.

In the video, Martin Seligman describes the purpose and effects of this exercise. Here he uses the alternate name, the "Three Blessings."

Method Summary

Each night before you go to sleep:

Think of three good things that happened today.

Write them down.

Reflect on why they happened.

Long Version

This exercise is to be done each night before going to sleep.

Step 1: Think about anything good that happened to you today. It can be anything at all that seems positive to you. It need not be anything big or important. For example, you might recall the fact that you enjoyed the oatmeal you had for breakfast. On the other hand, you might also recall that your child took its first step today. Anything from the most mundane to the most exalted works, as long as it seems to you like a good, positive, happy thing.

Step 2: Write down these three positive things.

Step 3: Reflect on why each good thing happened. Determining the “why” of the event is the most important part of the exercise. For example, you might say that your oatmeal tasted really good this morning because your partner took the time to go shopping at the local farmer’s market, where they have fresh, organic oatmeal. Or you might say that your child took its first step today because God was pouring blessings down upon your family, or because it really wanted to get to some cookies on the table. You get to decide reasons for each event that make sense to you.

History

This method was created by psychologist Martin Seligman. He is considered to be an expert on depression and happiness,  has been called the "father of Positive Psychology," and is one of the preeminent psychologists of the 20th century. He is also the director of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania.

[Buba]

Thank you, Arnold. Great contribution.

[Arnold666]

Name

Time Management

Purpose/Effects

Learning how to effectively manage your time is becoming more important, but often also more difficult, in modern technical go-go societies. This method can help you assess how well you are managing your time. It also offers suggestions to improve your time management skills, which can increase your efficiency and productivity.

Method Summary

First, assess your current time management skills. Then, practice prioritizing, delegating, eliminating distractions, and saying “no.”

Long Version

Assessing Your Time Management Skills:

Choose a typical day and and track, in fifteen minute intervals, how you spend your time. An easy way to do this is to create a little form, using a spreadsheet, in which each row is a fifteen minute interval (e.g., 7:00 am, 7:15, 7:30, 7:45, 8:00, etc,) and each column is a different type of activity (e.g., sleep, cuddling partner, shower, breakfast, commute, work, kids, dinner, TV, reading, emails). Then add up the time spent in each category. If possible, do this exercise for more than one day, and then average across all the days you track.

Review the results and draw your own conclusions about how spend your time..

Tips for Time Management:

Prioritize: Practice prioritizing tasks by breaking them down into 3 groups:

Those that definitely need to be finished today.

Those that need to be done within a day or two, but not necessarily today.

Those that need to be done farther out in the future.

Make a schedule for your daily activities: Each morning, write your to-do list for the day in order of priority. Once you have made this list, really try to DO your top priority items.

Delegate: Keep looking for any tasks can be appropriately delegated to others. For example, ask for needed support at work, or insist that your kids (if you have them) help with the dishes.

Identify and eliminate distractions and time-wasters: Look for any unnecessary activities that drained your time or distracted you. These could include staying up late watching dumb TV and feeling drowsy the next day, or getting sucked into the conflicts of others that truly don’t need to concern you.

Learn to say “no”: An important aspect of time management is knowing how much you can realistically get done. After scheduling your daily tasks, be wary of agreeing to do additional work for others if you know that it will postpone your original plans. While saying “no” can initially seem difficult, it often becomes easier with time, and you will be rewarded by completing more of your to-do list.

Avoid perfectionism: Some people waste significant amounts of time trying to do a task “perfectly.” If this sounds familiar, practice setting time limits to each task you do, and work with tolerating the possibility that it might not be perfect.

Just do it: Avoid procrastinating the tasks you dread by spending at least 10-15 minutes on one of them each day.

History

The tips and practices offered in this method came from a variety of sources, including the Mayo Clinic’s online resources, and Michelle Craske and David Barlow’s book Mastery of Your Anxiety and Worry. 

Cautions

It is important to remember that often in today’s hectic society there is simply not enough time to do all of the things you would like to accomplish. Even after implementing the techniques offered in this method, it is still possible that you will struggle with time management. Please remember to be gentle and patient with yourself if you cannot complete all of the tasks on your to-do list.

Additionally, you may receive some negative feedback as you begin to say “no” when others ask you to do something for them. Trust that you know best what you can handle and are actually taking care of yourself by saying “no,” even if it initially displeases others.

Notes

Keep in mind that in addition to these time management suggestions, sometimes it may be necessary to re-adjust your expectations regarding how much you can actually do each day.

[Arnold666]

Name

Tracking Your Mood

Purpose/Effects

Often our moods can change so quickly and automatically that we are unaware of what actually caused them. Keeping track of your moods in a mood log can help you reflect on the factors and situations that affect your emotions. Discovering the thoughts and situations that are linked to low moods can help you anticipate what factors (such as certain people, times of day, thoughts) are most challenging for you. With the information learned from tracking your mood you can gain insight into your habitual reactions to triggering events and work with bringing awareness to your responses so that they are not as automatic.

Method Summary

A few times a day, note your mood when you are upset and describe the situation (time, location, what is going on).

Long Version

If possible, carry around a notebook with you to use for recording your mood.

When you become aware that you are experiencing a difficult emotion note your situation, including the day, time, location, and what is occurring.

See if you can then become aware of and note what emotions you are experiencing (e.g. sad, lonely, scared, irritated) and rate their intensity from 1-100%.

Begin to pay attention to any thoughts that may be automatically occurring and see if you can notice and record the most common and gripping thoughts.

Once you have written down a few thoughts, examine their accuracy. Often when we are in a low mood our thoughts are unrealistically negative and pessimistic. If you can, begin to challenge the accuracy of your thoughts and create alternative, more realistic explanations.

If you have trouble challenging your thoughts, see Disputing Negative Thoughts and Common Errors in Thinking for help.

Once you have finished, reassess your mood and see if it has changed.

After a few days or weeks of tracking your mood, begin to examine your mood logs and look for any patterns or trends, such as times of day or specific people or events that are associated with low moods.

Becoming aware of this information can be very helpful. You may eventually come up with alternative possibilities and responses to prevent yourself from being automatically dragged into low moods.

You may also find ways to expect and prepare yourself for dealing with difficult situations and people. This can lead to feeling more in control of your mood and your responses.

History

Keeping track of one’s daily mood and challenging automatic thoughts is a primary component of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).  CBT was created and expanded upon by psychologists Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck in the 1950’s and 60’s. 
Additionally, the method presented here was adapted from the CBT mood logs created by Dr. David Burns in his book The Feeling Good Handbook, and from psychologists Christine Padesky and Dennis Greenberger’s book, Mind Over Mood.

You can read more about the history of CBT here:

http://www.nacbt.org/historyofcbt.htm

Cautions

It is not always easy to track your mood during various situations each day and please do not get discouraged or beat up on yourself if you are unable to record your moods with great consistency. Just beginning to pay attention to the various factors that influence your mood can be very helpful.

Additionally, becoming aware of your automatic thoughts can be illuminating but also unsettling if you notice that the content of your thoughts is very negative. Be aware of any tendency to criticize yourself for having critical or harsh thoughts and instead see if you can practice self-compassion for feeling the difficult emotion(s).

[Arnold666]

Name

Transforming Anger

Purpose/Effects

Anger is a functional emotion, as it is a fitting evolutionary response to injury and loss. It often steels us toward constructive action. However, anger, like stress, is incredibly taxing on the mind and body. People inclined to anger have more heart attacks and gastrointestinal problems than those who are not. Anger also often incites violence, both physical and emotional. Using anger as a tool for right ends is possible by learning to transform it from a destructive, animal rage into a righteous expression of justice.

Method Summary

Techniques of withdrawal, analysis, detachment, and compassion help turn anger into peace.

Long Version

Spacious Withdrawal: Retreat from the source of your anger and sit quietly, breathing deeply. Bring the situation to mind and then slowly expand your awareness to encompass more than the situation; focus on your breathing if you need to as the relative importance of your anger shrinks in your mind. This disengages the unthinking parts of your brain that make you want to lash out and engages the moderating, thoughtful parts.

Counting Down: An oldie but goodie. Count down slowly from twenty (or thirty…or whatever works for you). When you reach one, your emotional response will already have cooled.

Counteremotional Exercise: Use anger as a trigger for love. Use your anger as a spark to consider what you love and those things that you find beautiful in life. Most importantly, be compassionate toward your own anger.

Structural Analysis: In a meditative posture, consider the situation as objectively as you possibly can. Analyze the roles, intentions, and actions of everyone involved as well as the entirety of the event–its wins and losses. Respond clinically.

Planning: Use the anger to steel you and make you stronger. Focus your angry emotions on a plan to establish resources and skills to resolve the problem.

Emptiness: Using the same principles as structural analysis, take it a step further and recognize the transitory nature of human life and human squabbles.

Abandoning the Self: Feel the anger in your mind and observe it detachedly. Recognize how the state of anger ebbs and flows with electrochemical impulses in the brain. Your anger is not your Self. There is no self. Thus, there is no anger.

Lovingkindness: Respond with love; “turn the other cheek.”  Some exercises on lovingkindness are here.

Building Alliances: Realize that you do not exist in isolation. Recognize that you are part of a community and a support network.

History

The teachings of the Buddha are full of reminders that anger is destructive and that detaching from it is one of the keys to enlightenment and happiness. Christ taught to "turn the other cheek" when we are struck instead of angering.

Cautions

Serious anger issues that lead to extreme rage and violence may be better dealt with, at least initially, by a trained therapist with knowledge of anger management techniques.

Notes

If you would like to test your ability to transform anger, you might try, during your next stressful traffic jam, silently sending out waves of lovingkindness to all the other cars on the road, even those who cut you off, don't pay attention, drive too slow, or lay on the horn. You might also choose a relative or acquaintance who has been a source of frustration and anger in the past and try to hold them in your mind in a compassionate and loving state.

[Arnold666]

Name

Transforming Anxiety

Purpose/Effects

Anxiety may seem like a consequence of busy modern life, but it first evolved as a response to threats our ancestors experienced in the wild. If we examine the six stereotypical reactions we have to anxious situations, we can see their evolutionary origins and then transform these natural responses into productive ways of dealing with stressful circumstances. These six responses are fight, flight, freeze, appease, tend, and befriend. By mastering them, making them our tools, and using them to our advantage, we can conquer our anxiety.

Method Summary

Figure out your natural anxiety response and transform it into something positive.

Long Version

Fight: The fight response is fairly obvious; it’s what gets us into scuffles. If anxious situations make you feel aggressive and feisty, you may be able to channel your energy into vocalizing your complaints (speaking up for what’s right); just saying no; negotiating boundaries, conditions, and ground rules to avoid altercation; and doing battle with the anxiety-provoking beliefs and worries inside yourself. The fighter has to engage the situation to overcome his or her anxiety.

Flight: Flight makes us want to run away from our problems. If anxious situations make you want to run in the opposite direction, you’re a fleer. That doesn’t make you a coward; you can and should leave situations if they’re not working and can’t be fixed; look elsewhere for better situations rather than suffering in the one you’re in; step back and disengage, especially when a situation starts to look hopeless. The fleer can also completely abandon and run away from anxious thoughts inside him or herself.

Freeze: Freezing is stopping all movement (mental or physical) until a problem goes away. If anxious situations tend to paralyze you, you may do best by calling time-outs; observing negative situations quietly; buying yourself or others time by waiting; being patient and restrained and letting things come and change naturally; and creating space for new, better possibilities. The freezer’s patience and measured personality helps him or her to make it out of a stressful situation with minimal added stress.

Appease: The appease response makes us supplicate; when we bow to our “betters.” If you tend to take the blame yourself when in an anxious situation, you’re an appeaser. You may find your anxiety lessened when you take maximum personal responsibility without overdoing it; when you offer genuine apologies; when you makes agreements and promises toward the future and amends for the past; when you give gifts, and when you acknowledge the grievances and anxieties of others and work to solve them.

Tend: The tend response invites us to nurture in order to balance out our stress. If anxious situations make you want to curl up and be taken care of, you would do well to build up your personal resources for dealing with situations: taking meditative time for yourself, relaxing, and building alliances and to take care of yourself, making sure that you work on your own anxiety-inducing tendencies gently while allowing your kindness and caring for others work on their own anxious tendencies.

Befriend: Befriending is the tendency to defuse anxious situations with levity and charm. If anxious situations make you want to crack jokes and find common ground with others, you’re a befriender. The befriender can use his or her skills by making friends with his or her enemies (to a point, of course), recognizing and being kind to the inner goodness inside every anxiety-inducing person or thing, befriending him or herself (meaning being one’s own best ally), and bringing a sense of humor to a difficult situation.

Keeping the right hemisphere of the brain busy helps to alleviate anxiety because it evolved to scan for threats, while the left hemisphere in part works to control negative emotion.  By keeping the “worrier” half busy and letting the “emoter” do its business without interference, you can reduce anxious reactions.  Some activities that are right-hemisphere intensive include visualization based meditation (try this Earth Descent Meditation), Chanting / Devotional Singing, and Sky Gazing.

History

As far back as the ancient Greeks, people were dealing with anxiety openly. As a response to stress, anxiety is as old as we are, but we are only just now beginning to understand it. It is completely normal to experience anxiety from time to time; however, the anxiety disorders (generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and social anxiety disorder) have become part of psychological discussion as ways to describe unusually high levels of anxiety.

Cautions

If your anxiety problems are severe enough to keep you from living the life you wish to lead, consult with a trained psychologist about your options.

Notes

Other helpful techniques for reducing anxiety can be found in the pages on Nutritional Intervention and Physical Exercise, as anxiety responds very well both to supplementation in the diet and exercise.  Relaxation techniques like the Basic Relaxation Meditation, Progressive Relaxation, and Autogenic Training can drastically change how the mind and body respond to stress.

[Arnold666]

Name

Building good will/transforming ill will

Purpose/Effects

Ill will, negativity, aggression, even hate...these things seem like unavoidable consequences of modern life. These emotions self-perpetuate; "hate breeds hate." Transforming negative will into positive will not only makes you happier; it empowers you to promote positive change in the world around you. Building good will doesn't make you a pushover or a sissy. Instead, it gives you the strength to change your life and others' lives.

Method Summary

Through a collection of techniques and gentle reminders, you can change ill will into good will.

Long Version

Avoid situations that promote anger and negativity. This could be as easy as making sure you get enough sleep and aren’t running on an empty stomach or as complex as cutting a toxic, negative person out of your life (at least for a time).

Don’t argue. Take slow, deep breaths and walk away from a heated situation. Yelling and screaming rarely resolve conflict.

Keep an eye on your “trigger.” Figure out what provokes you to get your claws out and examine it mindfully. You will usually find that the trigger is as much you as anything. Don’t allow yourself to justify overreaction.

Practice understanding. Contemporary society has disconnected us, so that we all feel like the most important person in the room, leading everyone to step on one another’s feet and to feel extremely insulted by said stepping. Despite this, most people are generally good intentioned and do not seek to insult or harm us. Remember this, and find the good in the situation.

Cultivate the good in you. Feed your compassion and lovingkindness and nourish your calm. These resources will only grow as you do so.

Be generous. Instead of feeling affronted when others seem to take from you, give freely. This may mean walking away from situations where somebody seems to have taken minor advantage of you. Remember, small things aren’t worth big anger.

Self-examine. Investigate minor bouts of ill will in your life, their causes and ramifications. Under this microscope, they often look smaller than they had appeared in the heat of the moment.

Remember that your own anger and negativity hurts you more than anyone else. It is an affliction to be overcome.

llow your anger and negativity to pass through you. Fighting it will amplify it. Examine it and let it go.

Life is (sometimes) suffering. Accept that pain and misfortune are part of living on this planet.

Be realistic. It’s true: “You can’t always get what you want.” Don’t get frustrated chasing false hopes.

The world is not perfect nor can it be perfected. Let go of your personal perception of the ideal world and replace it with the reminder that we are good-enough human beings in a good-enough world.

Give your ego a break. When “I” am wounded, “I” get upset. Remember that there’s a whole world greater than you. You are important, but you are not more important than anyone else.

Meditate, pray, and use whatever techniques cultivate good will in your life.

Meet ill will with good will. Hate cannot dispel hate. Recall all the beautiful souls who prove this lesson–Martin Luther King, Jr., Gandhi, the Dalai Lama. We have much to learn from them.

Cultivate positive emotion. Allow yourself to be happy, content, and calm. A positive state of mind promotes good will outside the mind.

Communicate. Speak up for yourself and for others, while remembering that even your biggest opponent has his or her own truth. Consider the thoughts of others, and talk about problems instead of arguing about them.

Have faith in karma. It’s not your job to punish others. Those who deserve punishment tend to find it.

Don’t try to change people with anger. Cultivating ill will toward someone will almost never be the path to their eventual renewal. Especially don’t cultivate anger toward those to whom you can’t express it. It’s an exercise in futility that only leaves you feeling helpless.

Practice forgiveness. Forgiving others, even for grievous wrongs, is the most important step in your path to healing.

History

Most of the world's religions offer teachings on changing ill will into good will. Whether it's the Christian "treat others as you would like to be treated" (wouldn't we all like to be forgiven for our transgressions and talked to with respect, understanding, and compassion?) or the Buddhist urging away from extreme emotions, the idea that anger is best when it can be turned into lovingkindness is a universal.

Notes

In order to reduce the amount of ill will we unknowingly send into the world, we must begin by Realizing Intention.  Examining our intentions for hateful undertones can help free us from the vicious cycle of ill will.

[Arnold666]

Name

Working with a Nightmare (in the "Dream Tending" style)

Purpose/Effects

According to Jungian psychologist and master of dreamwork Stephen Aizenstat, nightmares represent one of the most unused natural resources for psychological healing. Disturbing dreams that contain monsters, aliens, killers, life-threatening catastrophes, and so on represent invitations from the deep unconscious to connect with our deep Self. The Self is a natural, wild, untamed thing, that does not conform to the needs of our safe little egoic constructions. Despite our efforts to repress and deny our own "soul" (another word for the deep Self, albeit one with strong religious connotations), it is in fact the organic, generative, natural core of our being. Thus we cannot get away from it, and the struggle to do so can only result in our lives become flat, stale, dull, and impoverished.

Working with a nightmare is an incredibly powerful way to reconnect with the "juice" of life. It can ignite creativity, dispell depression, relieve anxiety, and reawaken us to the beauty and depth of each moment.

Method Summary

Deeply explore a nightmare image.

Long Version

For this exercise you need paper and a pen.

Bring to mind a nightmare you recently had, or a nightmarish image from any dream. A nightmarish image can be terrifying, but it could also be disgusting, sick, alien, bizarre, or in some other way disturbing.

Write down everything you can about this dream image. See it in your mind’s eye. Describe it in great detail.

If the image is too terrifying to confront directly, then first connect with a dream image that you find comforting and protective. Keep this guide/protector image with you while you work with the nightmare image.

The nightmare image may grow bigger, get scarier, or somehow attempt to intimidate you. Alternately, it may disappear from your imagination, as it tries to hide itself.

It is important that the image understand that you are not trying to kill or annihilate it. Speak to it directly, saying that you simply want to see it, and that you will not hurt it in any way.

Simply tolerating the presence of such an image is a big accomplishment. If this is as far as you can go for now, that is fine.

If you can go further, attempt to investigate the sensory qualities of the image as specifically as possible. Get into the details, with as much curiosity as possible. If it is a huge taratula, what is the texture of its spider fur like? What color are the feet of the image, and is there any dust or dirt on its “toes”? If it is not an animal or creature, but instead is some kind of natural phenomenon, like a tsunami, do the same thing with its characteristics. What does it smell like? What does it sound like?

Once you get very clear about the sensory features of the nightmare image, attempt to draw it, write about it, dance it, sing a song about it, or otherwise make some creative expression about the image.

Repeat this process with the same image many times. Notice how the image begins to change over the weeks, months, and years. After a while, you may be quite surprised at what the image becomes!

History

This exercise is a paraphrase of many similar exercises developed by Stephen Aizenstat in his DreamTending work.

Cautions

Working with a nightmare image can sometimes be quite difficult or intense. If you want to go deeply into this, it is recommended that you do so with the help of a therapist.

Notes

It is very important that you do not attempt to "interpret" the image in any way. DreamTending sees interpretation as the attempt of the small, rational ego to control and dominate (and otherwise oppress) the contents of the deep unconscious. Consider the nightmare image to be an actual entity, with its own life, its own purposes, and its own reasons for doing things. It is not necessarily "just part of you," and it does not necessarily exist only to help you. Let go of ideas like these, which only tend to deaden, neuter, and domesticate the wildness of the deep Self. Instead, encounter a dream image with all the care, caution, alertness, and wonder you might have for an encounter with a wild animal.

[Arnold666]

Name

Writing for Self-Compassion

Purpose/Effects

A lack of self-compassion is common in our highly competitive society. By learning to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion we can increase our contentment, emotional well-being, resilience, and courage. This exercise is designed to help cultivate and promote self-compassion through writing.

Method Summary

First, write about an aspect of yourself that you judge and dislike. Next, write a letter to yourself from the perspective of a good friend and then read it aloud while practicing taking in the good.

Long Version

Step One

Choose an aspect of yourself or life that you dislike and criticize. It can be something that makes you feel ashamed, unworthy, inadequate, or self-conscious.

Examples may include appearance, career, relationships, health, etc.

Write in detail about how this perceived inadequacy makes you feel. What thoughts, images, emotions, or stories arise when you think about it?

Step Two

Now, recall or imagine a friend or family member who is unconditionally loving, accepting, and supportive.

Imagine that this person knows everything about you, including your background, genes, upbringing, and who you really are as a person. Imagine they know all if the various factors and events that have lead up to your life right now.

Now write a letter to yourself from that friend about how they view and explain your perceived shortcoming.

Write from a place of deep kindness, understanding and non-judgmental acceptance.

Keep in mind that all beings are imperfect, and want to be happy and free from suffering.

Step Three

After you finish writing, read the letter aloud to yourself and pay attention to how it makes you feel.

Later read the letter again, practicing taking in the good and experiencing how it feels in your body, heart, and mind.

Feel the love, compassion, and acceptance that exist within you.

History

This method was adapted from Kristen Neff’s self-compassion exercise called Exploring Self-Compassion Through Writing.  Additional exercises can be found on her website www.self-compassion.org

Cautions

Don’t be discouraged if you do not immediately feel compassion for yourself after writing this letter. Self-compassion takes time to develop and you are taking steps to cultivate it by doing this exercise.

[Arnold666]

I guess there is only 50 or so. Try some of them out, tell me what are your thoughts on them and help me get to 100 !