Do not give up [Big awakening just happened for me]

[Javfly33]

So this is not about spiritual awakening, although in importance about my life, it did feel like one. The last 2 hours of my life have been similar to being in a small dose of the better instrospective psychedelic drug posible. It seems funny that this has ocurred to me totally sober. Now as I´m writing this it feels that I´m coming to "baseline" but I do not want to forget this. Just being observant and consciouss during the whole day which has consisted on seeing myself undervalue me over certain people, have made 2 hours ago realized, this cristal clear eyes that...I fucking value myself less than certain people (maybe 90%) and I DO IT MYSELF!! I have done it all my life!. iF YOU ever wonder why you are not authentic, it´s because just when you are stepping up into saying or doing anything, there´s a "you" inside that is comparing what is being born within you (a word, a phrase, an idea, an action etc) against the thing that you value more than you. 

I´m not sure if this kind of posts are allowed here, but this post is just to motivate people who might be struggling with this kind of issues, issues that seem to always be around your whole life. You do all this kind of practices and techniques, but it seems it´s all bullshit because you can only get REALLY rid of your anxiety, your fear, or have confidence, when you do drugs, or you are at certain places with certain people where you feel safe. 

Well it is not bullshit. Please keep doing the practice. Keep having hope in the practice. Do not give up. Having a "fuck it" attitude about yourself and trying to look for the solution in substances or stories in your head about (when I´m in this place, or when I stop having this kind of relationship with that one)... STOP! You do not need to do anything of that. Take a look at yourself!, Now! Be Very watchful and yourself and see so clearly that you need to give yourself at LEAST the same value as whatever thing you compare yourself with! Of course you shouldn´t even compare yourself with anything! Because this is your life, and you are playing in POV, not third person! But from starter, I just realized that.

Edited April 14, 2019 by Javfly33
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[Sahil Pandit]

@Javfly33 Thanks for sharing this!