Self reflection

[Wekz]

Dont know how to describe how important self reflection is, so let me tell you what happened to me. This is actualy the second time i am doing this work, the first time went terribly wrong, and here is why... When i first saw all of Leos content i went nuts for it. I saw all the new possibilities for me and for my life and it just consumed me. I watched at least one video every single day, sometimes two or three. I started meditating, concentration practice, enlightenment work, you name it. The growth i got in only three months was insane, i grew more than i could ever imagine. I changed all my habbits i stopped playing video games completely, i faced some of the greatest fears i had, everything was great, untill i stoped for a moment, and started to reflect on everything that happened. And let me tell you, i was terrified. When i started to realize just what has everything happened in the last month or so it just hit me. I was in terror, completely gone. I didnt know who i was or what i want or what i was anymore. I spent the next six months in complete hell, complete insanity. Angry at everything, completely confused, anxious, depressed, in litteral hell...It took me half a year or so, in complete fear, after attempted suicide, to start to meditate again and to try to dig myselve out of that hole. Its been rugh, but its going better this time, five months passed and i am still alive ?. Only now i realize what realy happened, and where i fucked up. Dont make the same mistake as me, and get too mutch cought up in this work, that you dont even realize what you are doing. Because at some point you will have to stop, and then it will hit you, you'll go crashing  down.  Nearly made the same mistake again, but not this time.. I realized how important it is to stop and to reflect for a bit. To get some awarness on whats realy happening and to integrate everything, little by little.