Having a hard time staying present

[VictorB02]

As the title says, I feel as if I’m having a hard time staying in the present moment. Most of my time is spent in thought either worrying or thinking about the future. 

I feel as if I’m missing “reality” and constantly in my head. It’s almost as if I’m not engaged fully with reality, I just think about it. It also feels like I’m rushing everything, always in a hurry from one thing to the next.

Any suggestions? Thank you 

[CreamCat]

Leo's recommendations

• Meditation
• Kriya Yoga
• Psychedelics

Edited April 12, 2019 by CreamCat

[VictorB02]

@CreamCat thank you

[Druid420]

Mediation here is key. Once you develop your practice it can be implemented into more busy aspects of life but it must be developed first.

Make yourself comfortable, position is quite irrelevant although I think left/right symmetry is important,  close your eyes and relax.

Simply follow your breath for now, notice the inbreathe and call it your inbreathe, release and follow the exhale and internally recognise and call it your out breathe. Notice the differences. Play on this for a while.

[VictorB02]

@Druid420 Thank you!

[SunnyNewDay]

it's literally impossible for me to stay present sometimes. I'll feel super tense all over in my body and kind of angry. I can only sit or breathe for a couple minutes. it's super agitating and very uncomfortable. 

[VictorB02]

@SunnyNewDay yeah it can be hard. I’ve had weeks when I was super present and now I’m not any present anymore. I assume it’s ego backlash

[Forestluv]

On 4/11/2019 at 9:49 PM, VictorB02 said:

Most of my time is spent in thought either worrying or thinking about the future. 

I feel as if I’m missing “reality” and constantly in my head. It’s almost as if I’m not engaged fully with reality, I just think about it. It also feels like I’m rushing everything, always in a hurry from one thing to the next.

Ahhh yes, I know this thinking mind very well. Ime, seeing it too much as a "problem" keeps the thinking mind relevant. My thoughts say "This thinking is causing me problems, I better figure out how to stop thinking". It's absurd.

Worrying as well are impulses. I've had much of my life being a worrier.

Rather than trying to eat the whole enchilada in one bite, I would cut it up into bite size chunks. Rather than saying "I can't spend a day without thinking or worrying", I would go for a smaller bite. I have found it helpful to set a scenario in which I can let go of worries for say 30min. Do what you need to do and the stuff you still need to do will be there after 30min. Then mediate, do yoga, art or whatever and give yourself permission to get completely immersed into it. The thinking mind will have a fit, yet just ask him politely to put the damn cowbell down for 30min. Getting into a "zone" for 30min. was a success for me.

Regarding thoughts. For many many years I had a constant stream of thoughts. Then one day, one of my teachers said that there are tiny "gaps" between thoughts yet we don't notice them. If we pay attention, we will notice them. So then I went on the lookout for these gaps between thoughts. And sure enough I noticed them. Very very small short gaps and my thinking mind immediately wanted control again - to figure out what these gaps mean and how to use them. Over time, these gaps got longer and longer - especially as I reached deeper and deeper states of relaxation. A couple years ago, I reached a point in which the gaps where long enough that I could "rest" in them. I would go about 10 seconds without a thought or image. Nothing. Silence. - I never *thought* that was possible. Once  I could rest in the gaps, I started asking "from where does the thought arise?". Here my curiosity was stronger than my intellect's desire to control the narrative. So I started sitting and waiting for that next thought - like a cat waiting for a mouse to leave a cupboard. What I found was that the thoughts slowed down even more. The one time I actually wanted to think, there was silence. It's like thoughts didn't want to be observed - they wanted to arise in the shadows of awareness. When I turned on the light to see from where they arise, they scattered into the cupboards like mice. . . 

[Nahm]

@SunnyNewDay @VictorB02 When you get overwhelmed on the cushion, it’s working perfectly. Just need to know what to do. Write down how you’re feeling on paper. Don’t type. Use paper. You won’t notice immediate results (you might). Over time you will notice the meditation, that is, stopping the world and the busyness, allows emotions that you never dealt with to arise. That is exactly what is supposed to happen. In writing them down on paper, you see what’s going on inside that your eyes have literally never seen before. It can hurt, but over time you begin to understand yourself. When you understand yourself, you automatically understand where everyone else is coming from. 

Then more, deeper emotions surface in meditation, but now, you know exactly what to do. Write it down. 

This may go on for a while. It’s relative to how much emotional suppression there is. But that is perfect also. The more you’ve suppressed, the more you should look forward to understanding. The more understanding, the more peace you’ll experience in meditation. 

Then, bring that peace into your day with you. You will lose it so many times. That is perfect too. The more you use it, the more you should look forward to entire days of peace. 

Then you have entire days of peace, and you begin to feel Love. Then bring that Love into the world. You will lose it many times. But that is perfect too. There is infinite Love to look forward to. Days filled with Love and wonder. 

You have so much to look forward to. I’m getting jealous. 

[Good-boy]

Also do some deep(belly) breathing exercises.

[VictorB02]

@Serotoninluv thank you very much! This helped a lot