Unconscious obsessing

[Nadosa]

I recently got some really weird stories going around I want to let go but I can't. It is like I unconsciously feed in even though I dont want to.

I am someone that really clings to his comfort zone, which is my home at the moment. I feel comfortable there, the ego too.

A few weeks ago, I travelled to another town. Spontaneously. I was overwhelmed.

My mind was going crazy, I felt like I was going to melt down in each and every second. It was horrible. It was pretty traumatic to resist the urge of following feelings and thoughts. Everything was rushing by. The story  in my head of not knowing where I was, who I was, who experienced this - Yes that was the way I experienced this entire thing, I couldn't really ground myself, everything was foreign, alienated - made this experience pretty bad so that I dont dare to travel to another city anymore. Which keeps me in a terrible cage. I want to go to other places, but my mind is preoccupied with this story whenever I go to another place now.

I feel like I have way too crazy thoughts. .

I dont know how to put this. The security of thoughts telling me "this is this and that place, this and that city" has vanished. Those stories, concepts...I dont know how to find a common ground.

I also moved into a dorm, last week, and yesterday of course my mind said: "What if you panic in this room and you cant feel comfortable in there, what if you will feel alienated". 

So what can I even do to approach this issue??

Edited April 11, 2019 by Nadosa

[SQAAD]

@Nadosa Do you meditate?

[Nadosa]

Not intensely.

[Swagala]

It's very easy from my state of experience to say that "All thoughts aren't real. They have no real ground (in a sense that they can come out from anything that's happening at random times and sometimes, with random topics). They really don't have any texture to them or strength to them unless you let them." I'll try to explain what I mean.

There's a video that really hit me hard and actually got me to a point of awareness where I realized that there's really only 1 thing that's real: Intention. Your true self wants to experience itself (that's what I've come to realize from all my learning), otherwise, why the hell are "we" even existing, right? The first step to make you WANT to experience anything is Intention and once you focus your awareness on that intention, you don't think. You look for those moments when you feel like doing an action and just don't think about it. You just let it happen and the body will just execute, the universe is like a machine, your intentions are the fuel. When you have the intention, the universe will do them without the need of your narrating thoughts trying to word out what's happening so it can feel like it's (ego) the one really in control of what's happening. Maybe from now on, you can try to tap into the awareness of when the body is doing something and then realize that you don't have to think about how to make the body move with such ease; it's moving on its own.

Of course, take this with a grain of salt. We, really, all have our own "truths" at some point until you actually become God itself.

I'm not trying to selfishly plug myself or whatever but I made a post that somewhat pertains to this:

Hopefully these sources help in anyway.

?

Edited April 12, 2019 by Swagala
Perfectionist