Drunk nonduality nondoership?

[Forestluv]

28 minutes ago, Paul92 said:

@Serotoninluv  Thanks for that. I enjoyed reading that. It seems like it is really working for you, so I can't knock that at all. I'd love to get into a similar place, considering where I am right now. I just don't really know where to start, and I'm not sure what progress would even look like. I have pretty much the same environment, too. So that should be helpful. Just feel lost at the moment though and it's hard to see a way out. I feel/think/believe I have seen through an illusion that I can't unsee. The only issue is, I loved that world beyond words. It's hard to give it up.

Anyway, hijacked the thread. My apologies.

That feels genuine to me. That is a huge deal. It may be uncomfortable, yet a genuine space is a good space.

Your post brings forth similar feelings I had. One thing that helped me was watching Adyashanti videos. A lot of his videos are for the transitional stage of development you are in. To me, Adya felt very genuine and resonated with me at that time of my development.

I also had no one to talk to and for some reason, Adya felt like a friend to me. 

 

[Aaron p]

I'm Irish, so we usually like to drink. I actually find that alcohol really exposes consciousness effectively sometimes depending on what I'm drinking etc. There's been sometimes where I have big insights while drunk

[SoonHei]

@thesmileyone

Understand the there is no doer  like this.

 

One cannot use there is no doer in a court of law.

 

This means the message of non doership isnt for @thesmileyone it is for YOU (awareness)

 

Think of YOURSELF as a quality.

 

For example, smelling, or feeling etc

 

Can a "quality" be a doer of any action?

 

Your quality is to be aware, and you are aware of that who is the do-er (ego, relative POV), YOU aren't the do-er.

[Truth Addict]

@thesmileyone

I prefer being high all the time instead of being drunk.

I'm at that level, I'm so high that almost nothing can get me low.

But then again, maybe I'm just imagining things.

[Matt8800]

@thesmileyone Never feel guilty about anything. Do whatever you want to do as long as you live a life of love and beauty. 

Get drunk if you want. Do drugs if you want. Keep evolving and your wants will evolve over time.

[thesmileyone]

I'm drunk again. Whole bottle of wine.

There is still the undrunken observer.

I asked it why I get drunk? It doesn't answer but it shows other peoples answers in the way of a google search. The one answer that matches my observers andswer is "I drink to dull the pain of existence". IT WANTS TO SPEAK FROM ITSELF.

Even though I don't noticeable see or feel this pain in my day to day life, the Observer sees and feels it. The Observer doesn't enjoy the negative parts of human existence. The negative thoughts. the "I wanna kill my dog cos he loves me" thoughts that the Observer cannot explain. The self pity the self doubt, the self loathing. This makes no sense to my Observer.

Alcohol wierdly shows the Observer how much it hates Observing?

I hope this makes sense to people. I don't know what the path ahead is. According to The Observer, who Observes my thoughts and feelings and somewhat catalogues them, even though "I" have beeen spiritually advancing from "I"'s point of view, The Observer tells me that I still get these thoughts, I just don't identify with them. But the thoughts themselves that do not belong to "I" still grow to a tiring cascade. A heavy weight. They don't influence "I" because "I" know the "I" to be fake. But they still occur???

Drink is kinda helping me connect to my Observer. I can't help but feel psychedelics would do better but I have no access nor no safe place to execute.

Thesmileyone is in his own seperate kind of pain that differes to "normal peoples" exististenail pain.

Thesmileyone is really calling for help but knows no therapist would ever understand. He has seen beyond the veil and wants to stay beyong the veil but is not allowed access. This feels to Thesmileyone like the worst kind of pain.

Can anyone help? Last time this occured thesmileyone recieved warning points. He was not taken seriously.

Drink is the smiileyones "getaway" from the suffering of everything. He somewhat whishes that he had not been beyond the veil. That he could be one of the great ignorant flock of sheep that think life is life and don't question it.

LIFE IS SUFFERING for the smileyone

Edited April 14, 2019 by thesmileyone

[purerogue]

What you say would be all good if you would actually be able to let go of I and accept everything as it is, have complete fate in life itself, then I would say you truly came into being your true self and everything aligned, but it clearly is not your case, as you are still in the mind. 

Edited April 15, 2019 by purerogue

[Preetom]

10 hours ago, thesmileyone said:

I'm drunk again. Whole bottle of wine.

There is still the undrunken observer.

I asked it why I get drunk? It doesn't answer but it shows other peoples answers in the way of a google search. The one answer that matches my observers andswer is "I drink to dull the pain of existence". IT WANTS TO SPEAK FROM ITSELF.

Even though I don't noticeable see or feel this pain in my day to day life, the Observer sees and feels it. The Observer doesn't enjoy the negative parts of human existence. The negative thoughts. the "I wanna kill my dog cos he loves me" thoughts that the Observer cannot explain. The self pity the self doubt, the self loathing. This makes no sense to my Observer.

Alcohol wierdly shows the Observer how much it hates Observing?

I hope this makes sense to people. I don't know what the path ahead is. According to The Observer, who Observes my thoughts and feelings and somewhat catalogues them, even though "I" have beeen spiritually advancing from "I"'s point of view, The Observer tells me that I still get these thoughts, I just don't identify with them. But the thoughts themselves that do not belong to "I" still grow to a tiring cascade. A heavy weight. They don't influence "I" because "I" know the "I" to be fake. But they still occur???

Drink is kinda helping me connect to my Observer. I can't help but feel psychedelics would do better but I have no access nor no safe place to execute.

Thesmileyone is in his own seperate kind of pain that differes to "normal peoples" exististenail pain.

Thesmileyone is really calling for help but knows no therapist would ever understand. He has seen beyond the veil and wants to stay beyong the veil but is not allowed access. This feels to Thesmileyone like the worst kind of pain.

Can anyone help? Last time this occured thesmileyone recieved warning points. He was not taken seriously.

Drink is the smiileyones "getaway" from the suffering of everything. He somewhat whishes that he had not been beyond the veil. That he could be one of the great ignorant flock of sheep that think life is life and don't question it.

LIFE IS SUFFERING for the smileyone

A deep hate for existence and a deep yearning for self annihilation.

Very common trend in those who explored all these spiritual stuff to a significant degree.

Eckhart Tolle was exactly in such a condition right before his so called instantaneous enlightenment.

What I'd like to offer is an exploration of your own direct everyday experience.

Go have a nap now. Was there any hate for existence and a longing for self annihilation in sleep?

Upon waking up, what actually changed? What hideous cancer is responsible for all this dread and mess?

The solution to your problem might lie in this experiential inquiry.

Edited April 15, 2019 by Preetom

[Dumb Enlightened]

On 10/04/2019 at 4:42 PM, thesmileyone said:

So it is Wednesday and tonight I got drunk again yay. (It has been a week).

Now on the spiritual path many people preach "addictions" and "bad shit" and "alcohol" and "carbs" and how all things have to be avoided to be "enlightened". Lol.

But nondoership. You see, at some point, you become aware there is no you and you don't have control over what you do. You are just along for the ride!

Well I am drunk, so should I be feeling guilty for drinking? If so...how do I feel guilty for being drunk when I am not a doer, I didn't get drunk as there is no I to get drunk. Consciousness used to to get drunk to experience this moment, as a drunk.

Do you see the problem here? On one hand these teacher preach nonduality and nondoership. On the same hand, they preach how you gotta give up all of lifes pleasures to become enlightened.

MAKES. NO. SENSE.

Therefore, is a teacher can't even distinguish the hypocrasy in that, how can you trust them at all?

The problem is not drinking, or fucking, or eating , the problem is the attachment, a free being goes to a whorehouse, to a bar, and gets out of there untouched, while some people can stay home full of attachments to this kind of things

[thesmileyone]

7 hours ago, purerogue said:

What you say would be all good if you would actually be able to let go of I and accept everything as it is, have complete fate in life itself, then I would say you truly came into being your true self and everything aligned, but it clearly is not your case, as you are still in the mind. 

100% agree!

6 hours ago, Preetom said:

A deep hate for existence and a deep yearning for self annihilation.

Very common trend in those who explored all these spiritual stuff to a significant degree.

Eckhart Tolle was exactly in such a condition right before his so called instantaneous enlightenment.

What I'd like to offer is an exploration of your own direct everyday experience.

Go have a nap now. Was there any hate for existence and a longing for self annihilation in sleep?

Upon waking up, what actually changed? What hideous cancer is responsible for all this dread and mess?

The solution to your problem might lie in this experiential inquiry.

Putting it this way it is clear what the problem is...the mind takes over! Thank you.

[FoxFoxFox]

@thesmileyone First, don't project your own ignorance on others. Second, very few "enlightenment" teachers are actually enlightened, which might be the reason behind your present confusion. Third, enlightenment has nothing to do with you. So long as you wrongly assume stuff about yourself, you will be ignorant. Fourth, there is absolutely nothing you can do to become enlightened. All you can do is removing obstacles to enlightenment. You are this obstacle itself. The rest is God's will.