Cleaning up my funk.

[Anders Saether]

Hello guys, let me present myself. For several years now, I have been feeling a sense of "lagging behind" and "falling through the cracks of society". Having always been different from other people, and never really fitting in, it has been both a curse and a blessing. I have used the majority of my life thinking and poundering about it, in stead of acctually living it. Though I found many answers to deep questions about meaning of life, existence and so on, I can't overlook  how far "the others" have come in their life (Job, relationships, friends, habits, social-skills and cultural know-how), me being a great overthinker and a horrific underdoer, I went out to look for the answers on how to change this through all kinds of self-help material, but I very rearly practised anything of it. But, that being said, I feel some has slipped into my subconsious already making a tiny impact. The challange I've had the last couple of years is make a huge diffinitive change that could really stick, and impact the latter areas(getting a job, finding friends, social-skills, getting more productive at study, and finding a life purpose) so this is what this journal will be about. I'm currently studeing at university, though my motivation for studeing deminishes year by year, something has to be done.

Feel free to comment, come with feedback, if something of this resonates with you. 

Sorry if, this entry is a bit back-and-forth, it was late when I wrote this, I may rewrite in future to clearify it if needed. 

[Sarah Marie]

Just now, Anders Sæther said:

Hello guys, let me present myself. For several years now, I have been feeling a sense of "lagging behind" and "falling through the cracks of society". Having always been different from other people, and never really fitting in, it has been both a curse and a blessing. I have used the majority of my life thinking and poundering about it, in stead of acctually living it. Though I found many answers to deep questions about meaning of life, existence and so on, I can't overlook  how far "the others" have come in their life (Job, relationships, friends, habits, social-skills and cultural know-how), me being a great overthinker and a horrific underdoer, I went out to look for the answers on how to change this through all kinds of self-help material, but I very rearly practised anything of it. But, that being said, I feel some has slipped into my subconsious already making a tiny impact. The challange I've had the last couple of years is make a huge diffinitive change that could really stick, and impact the latter areas(getting a job, finding friends, social-skills, getting more productive at study, and finding a life purpose) so this is what this journal will be about. I'm currently studeing at university, though my motivation for studeing deminishes year by year, something has to be done.

Feel free to comment, come with feedback, if something of this resonates with you. 

Sorry if, this entry is a bit back-and-forth, it was late when I wrote this, I may rewrite in future to clearify it if needed. 

Hi Anders,

I have have a couple suggestions that may help you that seemed to help me a lot with me comparing myself with others.

- Understand where you are judging others, because you are setting yourself up for self destruction and self judgement.

- Work through or identify any big issues holding you back from childhood. For me this was therapy.

- Learning how to practice self love. I really self loathed for more than half my life. So doing things like taking care of my health and myself really changed my mind state to learning how to love myself rather than compare (and ultimately hate) myself to others. 

Once I was able to do these three things and practice them on a daily basis my view changed from "what I am not doing" and "why can't I accomplish as much as others" to respecting my journey and having faith I was exactly where I should be. I got more motivate because my changes were made out of love for myself rather than hate. It sounds like that may be a problem for you, nothing is sticking because the motivational factor. Perhaps taking the focus off comparing to others and focusing on your own journey and how to make change out of love for yourself will be what you need too! 

Nice to connect with you, glad you're here.

[Anders Saether]

5 minutes ago, Sarah_Flagg said:

Hi Anders,

I have have a couple suggestions that may help you that seemed to help me a lot with me comparing myself with others.

- Understand where you are judging others, because you are setting yourself up for self destruction and self judgement.

- Work through or identify any big issues holding you back from childhood. For me this was therapy.

- Learning how to practice self love. I really self loathed for more than half my life. So doing things like taking care of my health and myself really changed my mind state to learning how to love myself rather than compare (and ultimately hate) myself to others. 

Once I was able to do these three things and practice them on a daily basis my view changed from "what I am not doing" and "why can't I accomplish as much as others" to respecting my journey and having faith I was exactly where I should be. I got more motivate because my changes were made out of love for myself rather than hate. It sounds like that may be a problem for you, nothing is sticking because the motivational factor. Perhaps taking the focus off comparing to others and focusing on your own journey and how to make change out of love for yourself will be what you need too! 

Nice to connect with you, glad you're here.

Thanks Sarah :-)

[Anders Saether]

Aright, day two of my transformation. Decided a time ago to enroll for the university's student play. A bold decision and perhaps a bit risky one, considering the time it will take from my studies. So now there will we be rehearsal everyday for three weeks in row, that's one day done 20 more or so to go ;-). The rehearsals starts later in the afternoon, so I will get time to cram in my other studies. 

So back to the rehearsal today, allot of new faces, som old ones, think that the names will stick after a while. Don't mistake me, before it I felt pretty nervous, my heart was pumping, allot of negative thoughts in my head, and had some doubts about my abillity to perform, but almost all prooved wrong, expect a few blunders with glitchy scetches. 

So some lessons from today: 

What I did right: sang well, got into social flow and felt AMAZING in the end, got to known many new people.

What I did wrong:  had bad focus on the first few scetches, allot of negative thinking. 

What to do better tomorrow: Better focus, more positive thinking and speak despite feeling unsocial in order to gain social momentum faster. 

So that's all for today, let's see what tomorrow brings :-) 

As before, feel free to comment if anything of this resonated with you. Stay awsome ;-)