Help! Everything feels like a coincidence!

[Major Tom]

I feel super paranoid, I think everything around me is trying to fuck with me. I can’t help but feel that way, I know it’s irrational. I had a really fucked up and scary awakening last week. Meditation isn’t working and I feel like I have two iner voices now.

Edited April 9, 2019 by Major Tom

[ajasatya]

@Major Tom big ego time. it will pass.

• "everything around me is trying to fuck with me"
• "everything around was made to serve my purposes"

most people pick one of those 2.

both of them are huge traps. but very common traps indeed.

[Major Tom]

@ajasatya Damn, definitely mostly the second one lately. Any suggestions on how to address these issues. I’m not a self hep noob, but this is the first time in my life that I’m questioning my sanity and I’m in a bad place right now   

[ajasatya]

33 minutes ago, Major Tom said:

Any suggestions on how to address these issues

challenge them. be scientific about it. ask people why they did or didn't do certain things. you'll see that if you just sit down and close your eyes, the world will keep spinning by itself. it's not working against you nor for you. the world just is.

[Nahm]

@Major Tom

It’ll pass buddy. Hang in there. 

Sometimes I think that forgiving ourselves of our egoish ways is like the finite faucet, like a silly little valve holding back infinite peace. Purification is always turned on, we are the valves. It’s your right to know that peace. 

[ENIGMA DEB]

@Major Tom Hi, i understand exactly what you mean. I told my Mum.... there simply can not be this many coincidences that happen in one day. I found it scary and i thought that each time something occured it was always a "set up" because it just never made sense. I studied the brain and practically every subject known to mankind to try and figure out what was going on. Went to hypnosis and a million other things trying to figure out what was going on. Ultimately at the end of the day i see it now as an unexplained way the universe works with us. So dont be alarmed just ride with it and be patient with yourself. X

[Major Tom]

@ajasatya @Nahm Its been some time now. Ive snapped out of those thought patterns, but know I would like to ask a couple questions. Why was it so terrifying? I was expecting it to be euphoria and bliss, but instead I got the most fearful and horrifying experience of my life. 

My sense of self was split into many and I was sure I heard the what was suppose to be the devil himself speak to me. He said I would regret enlightenment. He made believe enlightenment = awakening = hell, that it was a trap. And so before I could go higher I stopped myself. It was just too much. Had I not stopped it I would have gone insane. (I grew up catholic and became atheist later in life, is this some manifestation of some unconscious regret?) The existential horror was immeasurable. 

This experience really put me in the hole spiritually. I am afraid to meditate, and I can't sleep unless I'm drugged. Ive been meditating for years, I never would have thought this was the way my journey would end. 

[ajasatya]

14 minutes ago, Major Tom said:

I never would have thought this was the way my journey would end.

end? what are you talking about?

who are you?

[Nahm]

@Major Tom Give me a few, I’ll pm you.

[ActualizedDavid]

On 5/2/2019 at 8:31 PM, Major Tom said:

My sense of self was split into many and I was sure I heard the what was suppose to be the devil himself speak to me. He said I would regret enlightenment. He made believe enlightenment = awakening = hell, that it was a trap. And so before I could go higher I stopped myself. It was just too much. Had I not stopped it I would have gone insane. 

I had some kind of this experience. 

Is not real . It will pass .  Look at your hands. And ask yourself what is real ? For sure ? 100%? That's what i did and it started to pass.

Do not beat yourself up thinking that you are going insane...

 

[Yellow_Girl]

Coincidences can be easily explained with mathematics.

Humans can take in three items of stimuli every second. This adds up to 1.8 million bits of stimuli per week.

Given that number, it's highly probable that two unrelated stimuli will arrive in your awareness within that time span.

But I personally think it's the matrix breaking down