Can awakening help with the passing of a family member?

[kieranperez]

I feel like I know the answer (and that I’m setting for nondual keyboard warriors who are just going to say “there’s no one to die!” Or some such response) to this but putting it out there. No one has died in my family so that’s not why I’m asking. 

I remember Ken Wilber had a great talk I saw on YouTube about “hurts more, bothers you less” (please watch the video if you haven’t seen it and don’t just go by the assumption of the title) where you actually feel more pain than the average person but the wisdom and consciousness of the reality of the matter doesn’t bother you, simply from the fact that you’re conscious of what’s true.

Has this been the case for any of you?

Honesty I just want to awaken before my dog dies... Curse those human -> dog year age calculators... 

[purerogue]

I am not sure if you could say it hurts more, maybe because you do indeed care less which makes it mixed up,also can agree about fact that feelings do work in different way then they did before, which is very difficult to deal with as they can't be dealt with in a way you did before.

About your main question, I can only say what I think will happen, you will be very sad , grief and then you will let it go. 

[molosku]

That would depend on your "level" of grasp of non-dual truths and state of being. 

What is your experience? Can you intuit and sense the timelessness of your dogs soul when you look at him/her in the eyes? Or do you see a sack of meat, bones and fur, thats destiny is to die and dissapear from "this world". Propably a bit of both? 

Your relationship to your dog is not mere attachment, it is love also. The humane attachment part of you will want to keep the dog forever, but your love part will understand all things are bound to inevitably pass. When it comes to relationships, these two aspects arise mutually, always. Wich part of you will consume you when the time comes?

If your answer to the question "would you rather have him live?" is "I dont care", it is not a sign of non-attachment, it is a sign of a lack of love. 

Only you can estimate how you will react and only you can work towards a deeper understanding of life and death, so your way of being attached to your dog will be of love and not ego when time comes. 

Without non-dual understanding, you dont have this framework to work with and you will only experience loss and sorrow. 

Ps. I could not watch your video suggestion at the time of writing this post, will watch it later though.

Edited April 9, 2019 by molosku

[mandyjw]

YES! I'm sandwiched between losing my Grandmother last month and my dog's death, I thought he was dying for 2 years now, he has a massive spleen tumor and was given 4 months tops to live. He gets really really sick and I'll think "this is it" but he rallies time and time again, so I'm getting lots of practice in letting go and letting it be.  When my Grandmother died I had that "hurts more, bothers less" experience. On one hand, I never really knew how much I'd loved her until she was dead and kind of hated myself for it, it was that "you don't miss it until it's gone" kind of thing. But I was able to see her in the sky, in the sunlight, in the birds and feel that one love beyond thought. Merging such grief with such love and connection was everything. When you get beyond duality you can do that. You get better at processing emotions properly in a short amount of time. 

I found that it was really intense for a short time but now I feel this amazing sense of peace about it. In the past when I lost other grandparents who I wasn't as close to as her I felt bad about it for a much longer time. I still haven't gone back to her house to see her not there in it, so I'm not sure how that will be. Abraham Hicks says to look for them where they are and not where they aren't. That's the key.

Much love to you and your dog. Dogs are the best spiritual teachers, in my opinion. 

[FoxFoxFox]

@kieranperez It certainly can, and hey, suffering is a potent catalyst for self-realization. 

[FocusOnTruth]

@kieranperez The more clarity/more awake so-to-speak you are, the less you distort things through the need to control/ have things go the way of your agenda, and in that sense yeah, things are easier and enduring life is more bearable. 

Of course, even after entering into an abiding nondual state, suffering is still a thing, and may even be quite intense. A big mistake of mine when I first awoke was using the clarity I gained as a means of escape and ignored the reality of my suffering as I would fixate on aspects of awareness that had set in, and pretended like I was peachy-keen because life was now a lot more bearable in comparison.

One thing I really like about the Buddha was that he said in no uncertain terms that this was the nature the life. Things won't last, we can't control and maintain them, and experience itself is inherently not satisfying. The depth of this being so significant, that it was the center of his teaching and liberation or Nirvana was the final goal of the whole spiritual path to him, not something as easily as attained as some degree of awakening.

In my experience, the more important thing than wanting to get into a nondual state and hoping it will quell suffering is to put one's focus on cultivating the right qualities to learn from it and grow as life will continually provide us with the opportunity to do so. Every bit of suffering is in a way a gift that shows us where we're not seeing things clearly and how our cravings are playing out. Reflecting on this gives us the opportunity to become disenchanted and dispassionate toward the world, thereby extinguishing our craving and progressing toward release.

Life can be really hard to deal with, but it's also really beautiful, and as I see it, being willing to face the pain is worthwhile. Sorry about your dog getting old, man. Seeing loved ones, human or animal can be rough.  

 

[pluto]

In order for us to grow we have to deal with the pain, face and transcend our fears, experience suffering/darkness. You cannot skip all of this and be in eternal bliss/freedom/light.  If i didn't go through all the darkness i went through i wouldn't be where i am today.

The most peaceful and humble person has usually suffered far more than everyone else. You don't get to an enlightened state out of thin air. You have to face and make peace with everything you've ever done and go through and transcend all of it yourself in order to see and be the light.

Why do you think most unconscious people usually have extremely challenging trips on psychedelics in the beginning then near the end of the trip they are in a peaceful/blessed out state.

There is no short cuts to truth, if you never faced truth before it will be forced upon you the moment you accelerate on a higher level and in order to reside at a higher level and continue to grow you will need to transcend those lower energies patterns we usually try to run away and hide from.

Hope this helps

 

Edited April 10, 2019 by pluto

[Rinne]

25 minutes ago, pluto said:

In order for us to grow we have to deal with the pain, face and transcend our fears, experience suffering/darkness. You cannot skip all of this and be in eternal bliss/freedom/light.  If i didn't go through all the darkness i went through i wouldn't be where i am today.

The most peaceful and humble person has usually suffered far more than everyone else. You don't get to an enlightened state out of thin air. You have to face and make peace with everything you've ever done and go through and transcend all of it yourself in order to see and be the light.

Why do you think most unconscious people usually have extremely challenging trips on psychedelics in the beginning then near the end of the trip they are in a peaceful/blessed out state.

There is no short cuts to truth, if you never faced truth before it will be forced upon you the moment you accelerate on a higher level and in order to reside at a higher level and continue to grow you will need to transcend those lower energies patterns we usually try to run away and hide from.

Hope this helps

 

Amazing. Thanks!

 

[Jkris]

@kieranperez It is the attachment to your dog that causes the suffering.Daily there are deaths  do you suffer due to that news ?

Accept the fact of impermanance and that death is inevitable.Be thankful that the dog is going to be free from this earthly suffering.