empath

[Patrick Lynam]

Are empaths a real thing ? is this all a scam? 

 

[Forestluv]

It’s not all or nothing. In every area, there will be a variety if people: charlatans, individuals with misunderstood skills, those with immature undeveloped skills and those with mature developed skills. This is true with science, reiki, yoga, psychedelics etc. As one’s own skills develop in an area, it becomes much easier to spot the developmental stage in others. For example, a quantum mechanics professor can easily spot if someone is full of shit in this area, has partial knowledge of quantum mechanics, or is fluent in quantum mechanics.

[rNOW]

I haven't watched the full video that you have posted, but I have watched some others, and I believe I fall into the category of 'empaths'. However, there may be various degrees, because I do not sense any 'layers' to a person as the video shows. I also cannot gauge what I'm accurately feeling in the given moment. I do however know if someone is lying and angry or sad or unfulfilled just by being in their presence, or even through text-communications. It just takes me a while to interpret those feelings as those of others and not my own. Until a couple of years ago, I had no idea what an 'empath' was. For most part, I used to feel anger in the presence of angry people. And sad in the presence of sad people and victimized in the presence of the victimized. For most of my life, I just assumed that everyone feels that way. So I think I used to be an 'unhealthy' empath. Now that I know, I try to navigate the feelings in any situation to figure out if they are my own or borrowed ones. And the difference is sometimes very subtle. Negative vibes are easier to notice than the positive ones- for reasons I do not know. 

[DrewNows]

@Serotoninluvdo you think an empath is someone who may have developed this sensitivity/ability as a coping mechanism at a very young age to handle intense situations? Like Programming that leads to more receptivity to other energies in a room. And would social anxiety be a possible result of this sensitivity with the manipulation of thoughts? 

What are your thoughts 

[Forestluv]

42 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

@Serotoninluvdo you think an empath is someone who may have developed this sensitivity/ability as a coping mechanism at a very young age to handle intense situations? Like Programming that leads to more receptivity to other energies in a room.

I hadn't thought of it like that before. For me, I think that sensitivity would make a situation more intense. If there is an intense social situation, empathic channels make it more intense and I would turn off and disconnect.

42 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

And would social anxiety be a possible result of this sensitivity with the manipulation of thoughts? 

I suppose empathic can be described in different ways. I saw the first guy in the video and was like "that aint it" - not what I experience anyway.

In my experience, it is definitely tied to social dynamics and social anxiety - yet a certain type of anxiety. It's not the type of anxiety of "I'm not good enough", "what do people think of me?", "what if I say the wrong thing?". etc. That's totally different. It's anxiety in a very different direction. Like feeling people really personally. Like experiencing them and a type of knowing them. The boundary between "them and me" breaks down, so it can seem like they are also feeling me. Like they are jumping inside of me. It can be extremely intimate with complete strangers. It really feels like they are feeling it too and that can be part of the anxiety. Sometimes, I am unable to turn it down or manage it and that can also cause a lot of anxiety.

For example, I was walking in a crowded outdoor fair one time with a friend. Artwork, food, performances - that kind of stuff. Then, I started connecting with people through eyes. I just felt them. In an instant. I would look at someone and know their angst. The next person, worry. The next anger. The next insecurity. All sorts of mixtures. Hundreds of people around me, everywhere I looked. Hundreds of packets of energy/feeling getting thrown into me. As if hundreds of people were trying to grab me. That caused a lot of anxiety. Also, when there was eye contact, it was like they knew. They knew what I was doing - because the empathic channel goes both ways - at least in "my" experience. This elevated the intensity of the anxiety and I told my friend I had to leave. Now. We went to a cafe and we got a corner table. I spent 10min. in the restroom until I could come back out and see any other human. 

One thing I learned that helps with the anxiety is that the other person doesn't know, unless they are sensitive/empath and on the same "frequencey". I've learned to fake it and just act normal and the other person doesn't know what I'm experiencing - even though it really feels totally obvious and it seems like they have to be experiencing what I am. Like the other person can "read my mind" (or read my feelings). This can create an enormous amount of stress. One way I've reduced the anxiety is by thinking "she doesn't know. Just act normal". And the other person just keeps on chatting like nothing is happening. Perhaps they subconsciously pick up a vibe they reflect on later, yet in the moment they seem clueless. I've only met one person who was completely on the same channel as me. She had been developing empathic abilities for many years. It was eerie. 

There is also a weird dynamic with narcissists. For me, female narcissists. It's really unhealthy. I've read it's a common dynamic that immature empaths find themselves in.

Also, I see a lot of people use the term "sensitive". It's not sensitive in the traditional sense of "he is really sensitive and his feelings get hurt easily" or "she is really sensitive to criticism". It's a very different sensitivity. It's more like being very sensitive to a certain frequency of sound. 

[DrewNows]

13 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

I hadn't thought of it like that before. For me, I think that sensitivity would make a situation more intense. If there is an intense social situation, empathic channels make it more intense and I would turn off and disconnect.

43 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

What I meant is defense mechanism because of intense/traumatic situations you become hyper sensitive as an auto impulse (learned behavior/personality trait in adolescence) 

Social anxiety stems from the thoughts running rampid (lots of stories, confusion, fear etc) triggered by discomfort or feeling overwhelmed 

I like your example and was also turned off by the first guy too because looked like psychic reading. I remember the music festivals I’ve been at and when I try to connect/make eye contact with others it’s very positive vibes but sometimes if I drink or something I might experience a downward spiral into negative energy (def. anxiety). Maybe we form stronger bonds with empaths because of that connection. I’ve really loved mindfulness as I don’t often get taken on that emotional rollercoaster 

I have an interesting dynamic growing up with my bro 2 years younger. I am fairly certain I played the narc controller in our relationship. I noticed he’s last gf was a pretty similar role for him. Sort of that energy vampire type 

Have you watched teal swan vid on narcissism and it’s two sidedness of their relationships? I’ll link it as I felt it’s pretty damn accurate

 

[Forestluv]

38 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

What I meant is defense mechanism because of intense/traumatic situations you become hyper sensitive as an auto impulse (learned behavior/personality trait in adolescence) 

Social anxiety stems from the thoughts running rampid (lots of stories, confusion, fear etc) triggered by discomfort or feeling overwhelmed 

For me, it’s like a form of hyper-connection. It’s like all the feelings / thoughts / beingness is floating around for everyone to see. And I can see them too. Intimately. Like I read their diary. 

It can have different vibes - it can be unbelievably intimate and loving. Yet it can also turn scary. And thoughts can enter and make the anxiety worse - and all those thoughts are floating around for everyone to see. There is no place to hide. 

I was with my gf in a restaurant last night and started to slip into that space. I could feel her, yet she wasn’t on the same channel. Yet it’s so obvious, how can she not be aware of it? It feels naked - for all to see. I had some thoughts like “what if I wanted to slap her? Would she know?” Then a flood of anxiety. It was sooo obvious  - as if I said it. It was out in the open, swirling around. Yet she kept talking as if nothing was going on. I was high anxiety and just tried to act normal in case she didn’t know. It felt like I pulled my pants down and started urinating on the table and noone in the restaurant noticed.

It goes both ways, their feelings ate totally transparent as well and they have no idea. I’ve only met one person in my life that was in tune with this. Many others have caught a brief glimpse, yet can’t stay on for more than a second or two. 

 

[DrewNows]

@Serotoninluvi don’t think we are using sensitive differently. I’m just oversimplifying a bit on why an empath might actually be unconsciously developed in adolescence. 

28 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

I was with my gf in a restaurant last night and started to slip into that space. I could feel her, yet she wasn’t on the same channel. Yet it’s so obvious, how can she not be aware of it? It feels naked - for all to see. I had some thoughts like “what if I wanted to slap her? Would she know?” Then a flood of anxiety. It was sooo obvious  - as if I said it. It was out in the open, swirling around. Yet she kept talking as if nothing was going on. I was high anxiety and just tried to act normal in case she didn’t know. It felt like I pulled my pants down and started urinating on the table and noone in the restaurant noticed.

Are you saying this flood of emotions you experience is coming from the room? I think it’s a reaction so why would she feel it too? Honestly sounds like a panic attack and have you tried vocalizing it in the moment? (Just setting embarrassment aside) 

 

 

[Forestluv]

14 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

@Serotoninluv

Are you saying this flood of emotions you experience is coming from the room? I think it’s a reaction so why would she feel it too? Honestly sounds like a panic attack and have you tried vocalizing it in the moment?

It was “vocalized”. That’s the thing. It’s just as obvious as if I said it vocally. I’ve only been able to communicate on this channel with one other person in my life. I was totally into it, yet it was too much for her. We didn’t even need to speak with each other. 

Anxiety doesn’t always arise. Often, I’m cool with it. I’ve been able to “read” people at times. My gf is a reiki master that it supposed to be in tune with all sorts of energies. It was bizarre she wasn’t picking up on this. 

[DrewNows]

4 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

It was “vocalized”. That’s the thing. It’s just as obvious as if I said it vocally. I’ve only been able to communicate on this channel with one other person in my life. I was totally into it, yet it was too much for her. We didn’t even need to speak with each other. 

Anxiety doesn’t always arise. Often, I’m cool with it. I’ve been able to “read” people at times. My gf is a reiki master that it supposed to be in tune with all sorts of energies. It was bizarre she wasn’t picking up on this. 

Sorry I mean spoken out loud but I still don’t understand your experience (might be called) channeling of energy in the room. Are you saying your gf should be able to notice it as well or notice your emotional state? 

[Forestluv]

@DrewNows I know spoken out loud. That’s what I’m saying. This is as obvious as if it was spoken out loud, if I stood up and danced on the table, grabbed her hand, or spilled a bottle of perfume. 

The more intense it got, the louder it got. It was like my emotions and those in the room were on a loud speaker and everyone is acting like nothing is going on. Yet I was dialed in on her and everyone else was tuned out. It can be bizarre. Yet people think I’m crazy, so I don’t talk much about it. 

There is a collective conscious aspect to it. This might not be what most people call empath, I don’t know. When I was younger it manifested differently.

[DrewNows]

@SerotoninluvHaha this isn’t easy to understand through typing. So what you’re saying if you were to begin vocalizing this experience out loud to her you’d end up shouting out with all this energy?

I suppose I’ll never know if we are on the same page through this forum haha oh well  

[Forestluv]

@DrewNows Yea it’s hard to explain. It’s as if emotions have sound and you are the only one that can hear it. Imagine sitting in a restaurant and sound is emanating out of your body and noone seems to notice it and you have to pretend everything is normal. It can be hard to do. 

There are other forms I’ve experienced too.

[DrewNows]

@Serotoninluvhmm cool. do you feel it's possible to put up some mental boundaries to negate the build up of any sort of anxiety? 

I am also curious if introvert is usually part of an empath persona

Edited April 9, 2019 by DrewNows

[Forestluv]

@DrewNows I can put up boundaries in certain contexts. For example, I tend to over-share and it often comes back to bite me. I can set up boundaries that I will only share at the same personal level as the other person. I’ve read boundaries is the major issue for most empaths

Yet stuff I’ve been experiencing lately is more like magic, paranormal, telepathy sort of stuff. 

I’d imagine most empaths are introverted. 

[d0ornokey]

Talking to and asking questions with one will help 

[DrewNows]

 

13 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

@DrewNows I can put up boundaries in certain contexts. For example, I tend to over-share and it often comes back to bite me. I can set up boundaries that I will only share at the same personal level as the other person. I’ve read boundaries is the major issue for most empaths

Yet stuff I’ve been experiencing lately is more like magic, paranormal, telepathy sort of stuff. 

I’d imagine most empaths are introverted. 

Cool yeah sounds magical. Maybe it arises from an increased awareness and vulnerability. Thanks for sharing. I could share some of my experiences but not sure exactly how accurate it would come  out. I do often get increased stress levels in crowded places if there’s self conscious thought but when there’s not, the energy is powerful if I focus on it 

[Flatworld Crusades]

I'm  new here so I'm not sure if I will connect with this topic from your perspective,  but i do have something to say. 

Whenever there is a discussion about empaths the topic of managing the emotional asapect of both the gift and the interaction comes up. One thing is very rarely discussed is managing your own energy and aura to give you a better quality of life. There are some issues with energetically accessing an individual to sense their emotions. The over riding issue is that in most cases the Empath hasn't asked for permission. What happens is the individual being accessed will often unconsciously send back negative energy because you didn't have permission to come in. You must ask permission to enter another individuals aura and energy. 

Another point is that to my experience empaths don't learn how to use security and protection of their energy. To stop overloading you need to stop other energy especially negative energy entering your aura. So protect yourself 

[Forestluv]

@Flatworld Crusades Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your insights. 

I can relate to asking for permission. I’m still new at this level and I’ve learned the importance if this. To me, it sorta felt like reading their diary without asking for permission. . . . I would also add that if one is not deep enough subconsciously and is just below the conscious level, the other person can pick up consciously that something is happening and get really upset. Even though they are unaware of what’s going on - they still have a sense they have been violated. I unintentionally did this to someone one time and felt really bad. 

One question I have for you. When you say get permission - do you mean on the conscious level by asking them and telling them what’s going on? Or do you get subconscious permission empathically? I’ve received subconscious “NOs” before and backed off. Yet I’m not sure what a subconscious “Yes” would be like and if it would count as permission.

[Flatworld Crusades]

It depends on your situation with the other person. You can certainly straight out ask, however depending on their spiritual beliefs asking for permission for your energy to access theirs could weird them out.  I'd suggest something really simple like " ...do you want to share that with me". Often a hand on their arm is more subconscious but will work.  If you don't like the feel of their energy (remember people with issues can have some seriously awful energy), stay outside and use your intuitive skills to help. Don't sacrifice your aura and energy.