Insecurity

[Moonturnsthetides]

Hello,

In my one and only relationship that lasted 11 years I’ve now learned some things about myself. How insecure I was and still seem to be. The constant need of approval from my partner at the time. My perception was that I felt like my partner said she was attracted to me, but wasn’t. How do I know for sure in my next one and will the attraction fade? Then that’s where I question if it’s even real if it’s only based on looks, and then I question how can you trust them on their word? I was lied to a lot and I found out after the breakup. I always see the good in people, but now I don’t trust anymore. 

[ajasatya]

as we mature and grow older, the concept of "attraction" changes a lot. physical attraction is light-years away from being enough to make an intimate relationship last.

this is my perspective: if both aren't fully engaged in personal development and self-mastery, the relationship is already doomed.

Edited April 8, 2019 by ajasatya

[Cosmo]

If someone is with you, it's unhealthy to obsess over why that is. Once you start doubting their sincerity, you start questioning their actions, and inevitably inserting hostility and passive aggressiveness into your interactions. It's easy to then cause the change of feeling in that person that you first imagined and falsely feared.